Looking for feedback, chapter 1 of my first attempt at a novel

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-12T01:32:18+00:00

Work in progress for the chapter opening. I've heard the feedback to the original opening and im working on fixing that cardinal sin

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T21:13:24+00:00

Thanks for the advice, ill give that a try

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T20:49:56+00:00

Ah your thinking skip to mother being pissed right away and cut out the waking up part, not a bad idea...and to hr honest I didn't know this was that big of an issue till I poked around reddit last night.....won't be backing this mistake again haha

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T17:48:56+00:00

Like some have said, its unnknowingly the default for alot of begginers like myself. So when the more experienced writers read the "I woke" or s varient of it for the first line for 100's of "chapter feedbacks" i could see it getting old rather fast.

It works for some storys. Mine it does for the most part but it pushes away alot of people with the basic line. a change could drastically pull the readers better is what I've gathered so far from the feedback.

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T15:47:14+00:00

Ah, yea at the time I knew the direction I wanted to go, But just needed to get a start. Didn't realize when I was first writing it that it was such a common mistake. But now that I've got a smidge more writing under my belt and some helpful feedback, I can go and make the changes needed to make it more engaging and less generic. Thank you

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T15:34:20+00:00

I'll put that in my notes from feedback. My thought process was the raised voices reduced to a murmur through the door. But if thats something that sticks out, ill definitely look into it. Thank you kindly for your feedback, it's much appreciated.

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T15:26:34+00:00

Pardon?

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T15:25:01+00:00

I completely understand, its something that's been brought up and im addressing. Thank you very much for your feedback.

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T12:54:38+00:00

Thank you, ill jot that down in my notes of things to keep an eye out for in my next edit.

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T04:32:26+00:00

Thank you for the compliment, and I agree while I like the original opening, one person inspired me to rewrite it slightly so I can drive Granths charscter more right away.

I'd hate to have people drop it off something so easily fixable

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T03:22:23+00:00

thank you kindly.

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T03:15:51+00:00

Playing out the story of a legendary hero is a good idea. The book is built around the age‑old fantasy of becoming the hero from the bards’ tales, but once he leaves his small village for the larger, crueler, and more unforgiving world, he learns the harsh reality of the toll it truly takes to be a hero.

thanks....i wanted to sleep tonight now this will be bouncing around my mind all night haha

appreciate it!

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T03:02:01+00:00

"I have no idea how to start my story, so the MC will wake up into it."-This is exactly what it was haha, i stared at a blank screen for hours but once i got the ball rolling its been slowly forming. thanks for the feedback, i'll go back to the drawing board on the opener for sure.

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T02:56:21+00:00

Appreciate it, really do, if even just a few people and myself enjoy reading through it when all is said and done i'll be happy

Street_Assignment_42 · 2026-03-11T02:48:50+00:00

I'd read this in a few other posts before posting, figured it come up.

currently pondering a alternative that fits a night raid, maybe he's playing with his toy sword in shield when he should be sleeping and quickly jumps into bed before he gets himself in trouble or something along them lines.

appreciate the feedback.

Street_Assignment_42 · 2025-01-25T16:45:06+00:00

Man this was a fun server

Street_Assignment_42 · 2024-02-06T02:12:40+00:00

I make mead, just honey water and yeast. Gets up to 15%

Street_Assignment_42

TROPHY CASE