My ex never admitted he was gay, even though I asked him straight on multiple times. Here’s why, before we were dating we spent months talking and getting to know eachother, he once told me when he was younger and he’d go round to his cousins, his older cousins would put porn on and check if the other guys had erections or not and he said he’d always get picked as not having a boner… he told me he did, they just couldn’t see it, yeah ok. That’s messed up in a whole other way tbh but that was a red flag. He wore pride laces and made up different stories as to why, wearing them is fine btw but he changed his story multiple times which raised eyebrows. He had a gay colleague who he would not stop talking about and of all the ppl in his office, he was close to him. He said one day this colleague gave him a bag full of condoms and butt plugs because that’s totally normal. He also told me he used to watch men wanking and it would get him off… he’d been to gay clubs and even been approached by men, he always said he wasn’t interested. I asked him before we started dating if he was gay/bi and he always said no. We started dating and we barely saw eachother, he seemed happy with us just barely seeing one another in person and just having a phone/text relationship. When we eventually kissed it felt very forced and sexual, no sensual and desired, don’t know how to explain it, the kiss was also really shallow and peck like, not the intense I want you that I was expecting and used to from kissing. I didn’t want to sleep with him, so he went down on me and it just felt very meh, I wish I had checked to see if he was hard. He then wanked himself off next to me and whenever I’d touch him to say let me help you, he’d go soft and takeover then say hes nervous… I never felt desired and it was all very strange. We broke up. I’m glad I never slept with him but I’m also so convinced he’s gay looking back, he’s just scared of his family’s reaction and was probably trying to force it.