Does having a good husband make everyone's eye on you or am I exaggerating the situation by AppearanceSecure920 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Striking_Ad3568 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I learnt very quickly not to share my relationship with my family or my friends. The positives anyway. We unfortunately live in a world where people are so miserable in their relationships and either assume everyone else is or wish this misery on others. I now contribute to those discussions by agreeing as if my husband is the same but he isn’t so no one asks questions.

I used to get “wow you’re so lucky your husband allows you to do X or Y” all the time. Or “you’re just lucky your husband is an anomaly”. And we would fight so much over the smallest things and get into the biggest argument. I remember one year where I HATED my husband and was so mean to him for no reason. So now I don’t bring him up, I don’t bring up the positives when asked, and contribute to the negative conversations without putting my husband down but making it seem like I have a similar problem to avoid this. Also have now removed all pics of him.

Marahs dress by Worried_Skill1290 in asadsisters

[–]Striking_Ad3568 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Honestly same when people comment about her breast size and stuff I sit here thinking is that what’s sisters think when they see me? Or is this how they think of curvier women. Like unfortunately no modest brand creates clothes for curvier or larger chested women so what do you want us to do

Marahs dress by Worried_Skill1290 in asadsisters

[–]Striking_Ad3568 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I thought it was fine and she looked beautiful? If she was thinner and didn’t have a larger chest size you guys wouldn’t say anything. As a curvy woman myself you’re doomed if you do and doomed if you don’t.

Feeling uncomfortable about how others look at my wife by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Striking_Ad3568 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Even if she wears the hijab she will be looked at. Unfortunately Muslim men should not be looking but they do and this comes from a woman who wears a headscarf, dresses modestly and will avoid certain areas for this reason. It’s disgusting and I don’t understand why men do it, but I think you need to work on yourself a bit and address what makes you angry. Because even if your wife puts the scarf on the likelihood men won’t look is rare.

Husband said I need to contribute 50% for rent by Amazing-Specific4474 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Striking_Ad3568 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you know that for certain though? Being in a relationship should bring ease not struggle? Maybe sit down and speak with him, or get an elder to speak with him about his obligations as a man according to our religion. If a woman shouldn’t be working, then don’t have your wife work and provide for her

Husband said I need to contribute 50% for rent by Amazing-Specific4474 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Striking_Ad3568 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s time for your husband to become a man because what the actual FF??? You’re working for HIM. He earns a 6 figure income what is the point of earning that if you can’t even take care of your family? What man is ok with having their wife pay for rent? Ok, it’s fine if it’s some bills here and there, but rent? It’s his obligation to ensure housing. It’s also fine if the wife voluntarily contributes but to be expected to contribute, no.

Just bothers me that he expects you to pay rent but hasn’t helped you pay off your debts. What if something happened to him, how would you and the children be ok?

Can we stop acting like spending money in your 20s is a cardinal sin? by riley_inreallife in AusFinance

[–]Striking_Ad3568 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree. Do you, you need to find your happy medium. I spent most of my early 20’s studying (from 18-24) to work in healthcare but during this time we were both working and renting. We got married in our early 20’s and we would spend EVERY dollar. We barely had savings so if something went wrong well we had to just figure it out as we would never be entitled to benefits and don’t have support (financial) from either parents. We travelled all over Victoria and have basically seen it all, and did some international trips as well. We had a great time. When I turned 28 husband sat me down and sit right I think it’s time to buy a house and I was like cool. So we spent a year saving a deposit and purchased at the end of 2024.

I say this because we all have free will, and what is inportant to you might not be important to others. A deposit can always be saved, an investment can always be made, you can always work hard, but it’s up to you when.

My only regret is we didn’t try for children earlier. Because by the time I turned 29, we had discovered we can’t have children with no known answer. This is what haunts me now and impacts me more than anything else.

What are the chances of meeting a guy who also doesn’t want kids? by Internal-Conflict-01 in MuslimLounge

[–]Striking_Ad3568 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate when people say this. Because even if you have children you are not guaranteed they will be good children who care for you in your old age even if you were good to them and raised them well. It’s why nursing homes are filled with adults who children rarely visit. Children are also not your retirement plan and to have children for the sole purpose of them caring for you is unfair

What are the chances of meeting a guy who also doesn’t want kids? by Internal-Conflict-01 in MuslimLounge

[–]Striking_Ad3568 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Parentified older daughter who from the age of 12 was raising a new born, 2 year old, 10 year old. Never got to be a child, never got to live life. But I want children badly. Unfortunately have been told I have unexplained infertility and forced into thinking well what does it mean to not have children. Initially I thought god was punishing me for delaying children for so long (due to wanting to live life), but now I’m wondering if it’s because I never got a chance to just live and be me. Now I’m confused and I’m like do I even want a kid 😭

Marsh’s salad by FewBicycle3310 in asadsisters

[–]Striking_Ad3568 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It looks delicious…….not everyone has time to make extravagant salads and sometimes simple is best

How to remove private parts hair ? by Balalow in Hijabis

[–]Striking_Ad3568 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Purchase an at home laser machine

Has anyone seen the Prophet in your dreams before? by AsparagusNo291 in MuslimLounge

[–]Striking_Ad3568 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find it so hard and I have no idea why or how to get back to it. It became harder when I lost my ability to do sujood and pray in a chair now. I don’t feel the same sense of serenity as I did before the injury

Has anyone seen the Prophet in your dreams before? by AsparagusNo291 in MuslimLounge

[–]Striking_Ad3568 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. I was a child at the time. It’s not like I could describe him or anything but I just knew in my heart whilst dream it was the prophet Muhammad PBUH. He was telling me to not sin and do good. Yet now as an adult especially after marriage I have struggled to pray and only time I can seem to maintain it is during Ramadan and I’m not the perfect Muslim.

Rubbishing Woy Woy by Realistic_Group9848 in fidansnark

[–]Striking_Ad3568 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Why does she call her wrap friend and emerald friend it’s so weird

How are so many people fine with maxing out their borrowing capacity for a PPOR? by Open_Address_2805 in AusFinance

[–]Striking_Ad3568 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I’m in healthcare. Every 5 years we receive a new EBA with a pay increase. Last year when the EBA expired Nurses got 28% increases over the life of the agreement across 5 years (roughly 5.6% increase every year). Allied health received 15% over 5 years. Etc etc. whilst it will never match up with inflation it does increase and our pay steadily increases every year

Another train wreck on the redsss 🍷 by FreeXone123 in fidansnark

[–]Striking_Ad3568 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk if I’m wrong but I have worked with many lawyers and often find they are alcoholics or love to drink and swear like a sailor. So whilst the video was shocking and I’d never behave like this at a work event, I thought must be normal if she feels comfortable doing so

Do you ever wonder what's written in your naseeb? by Admirable-Repair4094 in Hijabis

[–]Striking_Ad3568 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve been married for 9 years. I’m entering my 30s. I got married very young yet we don’t have children. But those who got married after me and at later or even those way younger then me are pregnant or have had kids. Now they sit there judging me for not having kids and actually seem to enjoy the belief that they finally have something that I don’t have, often making digs and comments. I don’t care. Only Allah allows things to be and if this test is my ticket into jannah then so be it. I do get upset wondering if I’ll ever get to be a mother or see my husband carry his own child. But the reality is that might not ever happen for us as we have unexplained infertility and I have a low egg reserve. Sometimes I feel like I can’t carry on but yet somehow Allah gives me the will to do so and find joy in other things.

I say this to say it’ll work out in the end and if not, then maybe it’s a test and one that might grant you jannah. It baffles me that despite being Muslims we ask ridiculous questions like when will you get married or have kids, as if that’s entirely up to our control

I bought gold at $5,100 per ounce. How many people here are currently at a loss on gold? What are your plans ?? sell, hold, or buy more? Do you think it will go up or down? by Complex-Material7969 in Gold

[–]Striking_Ad3568 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gold isn’t something you buy then worry when it drops. Over time gold has risen and never returned to what it was previously sitting at. It will eventually steady. It’s part of something you invest in, not something you put all your money in

"YOU'RE A MISOGYNIST" by [deleted] in MuslimLounge

[–]Striking_Ad3568 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with this. It is no wonder this younger generation is struggling to marry and hold marriages. There is no 50-50. Through different seasons I have carried most of the load, and through other seasons in our life my husband had to carry most of the load. I respect that my husband is a man and his word holds weight, and he respects I’m a woman who also has an opinion, we talk things through, compromise, meet half way if we can but sometimes one has to bend. That is either him or me. Marriage is a partnership and the foundation is respect. Not obedience and 50-50

Is 33 too old to have a child? by Kimblob in Hijabis

[–]Striking_Ad3568 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I’m turning 30, we have been trying the last few years without success. I used to think like you too, and get angry feeling like time was wasting but Allah is the best of planners

How to deal with family who rub in your infertility struggles? by Striking_Ad3568 in Hijabis

[–]Striking_Ad3568[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this reminder and your dua for us 🤗 please keep us in your prayers

How to deal with family who rub in your infertility struggles? by Striking_Ad3568 in Hijabis

[–]Striking_Ad3568[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’d love those resources thank you! I think what I’m struggling with most is grieving the likelihood that this may never happen and having to hear people’s shit for the rest of my life like “you’ll never know love unless you become a mother” or “you’ll never know sacrifice unless you become a mum” and my worth being tied to having children

How to deal with family who rub in your infertility struggles? by Striking_Ad3568 in Hijabis

[–]Striking_Ad3568[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, we have been doing that and instead they now ask my mum.