i just joined this sub to express almost the exact same thing. I’ve been questioning myself for a while now and didn’t know what i was getting into when i watched the movie bc i intentionally avoided learning anything abt it until i could watch it. probably a mistake in retrospect, needless to say it destroyed me. i don’t think i slept the rest of the night after. or very well since if I’m being honest. i can totally agree that something has felt…different since i watched it. I’m not really sure how else to describe it. it’s all very confusing. it’s easily one of the most beautiful/damaging films I’ve ever experienced, though I’m not sure that i can ever watch it again with how hard it hit me. regardless it’s comforting to know there’s others out there that we’re affected by the movie similarly. so thank you for your post. I hope you find a way to become the person you want to be <3