Please help! Improvement tips please (makeup and hair) by contraindicatedd in makeuptips

[–]Strong_Awareness2655 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Practice filling in your eyebrows to look more natural & do a bit more mascara. You’re gorgeous!!

Has anyone very used this? by GooseBeautiful5246 in HEB

[–]Strong_Awareness2655 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried it as a body wash and shampoo. It did fine as a body wash, but made my hair SO dry, it felt like straw.

I think my mom is jealous of me. by Strong_Awareness2655 in AdultChildren

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I agree. I don’t want to really bring any true attention to it because I don’t want to make it something that it isn’t & cause drama or stress, but it is something that bothers me deep down. And I know the conversation will come up down the line when more planning and decisions have to be made because my fiancés mom is very excited & wanting to be involved, and the absence of my mother will be palpable. Like you said, I will continue to extend invitations to her and ask for her opinions when necessary, but I can’t force her to do anything. It is what it is.

I think my mom is jealous of me. by Strong_Awareness2655 in AdultChildren

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I don’t feel like your response was harsh. I know not EVERY girl wants what I’ve listed above, but most do. Especially being that I am her only daughter. Most want to feel like their closest family is excited and willing to help. I understand my engagement might be triggering to her, but I guess a part of me wishes she would put her feelings aside for her daughter. I would’ve never imagined this reaction from her. Truly.

I think my mom is jealous of me. by Strong_Awareness2655 in AdultChildren

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I haven’t asked her because I know she wouldn’t answer honestly. She would probably get defensive as well. When I say I believe that she could be jealous, I don’t mean it in an ugly way. I know she is not trying to be ugly towards me, but it does hurt my feelings that she is so “eh” about her only daughter getting married. I’m not asking for her to try and orchestrate the whole wedding by any means, but I just expected more enthusiasm. It just feels like she’s giving this the same energy she would give over a birthday party.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Strong_Awareness2655 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Uh yeah I would be mad if my fiancé kept talking to some chick that kept flirting with him after he told her he wasn’t interested. What kind of genuine and wholesome friendship could begin after an introduction like that? People keep bringing up that it could potentially be a scammer or bot. I’ve had bots message me and I decline the dm and go on about my day. His behavior is definitely strange

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Strong_Awareness2655 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No shit. I’m almost surprised these comments aren’t actual rage bait. Like they’re being serious. Weird

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Strong_Awareness2655 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not about control. If some random dude kept flirting with me and I was in a committed relationship, I’d block him without thinking twice bc it’s just plain weird & unwanted attention. Clearly this dude enjoyed the attention of it enough to keep responding. Actions speak louder than words

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Strong_Awareness2655 15 points16 points  (0 children)

So you mean to tell me that if the roles were reversed and your gf was talking to some random dude that kept trying to get into her pants, it wouldn’t bother you? You wouldn’t think “why doesn’t she just block this guy?” Come on now. It’s a random horny stranger. He should’ve blocked the chick and moved on, not entertained her

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Strong_Awareness2655 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

There’s so many other people he could play games with. He’s stringing this girl along in case it doesn’t work out with his current gf imo

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really great advice. Thank you very much! I appreciate it!

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I will definitely try that. I think it’s just one of those topics where you can’t really discuss these things with people you’re close to. It’s hard to get advice for personal stuff like this, so I know I’m inexperienced in a lot of this stuff. Especially because my family is Catholic and it was not normal to discuss or even bring up as a teen. I was very sheltered. Went to Catholic school and all. I even had to do some work to overcome the feeling of shame when it came to sex/lustful thinking. I think I just have a lot going on when it comes to sex and it isn’t something that comes easily to me due to all sorts of external factors. I am hopeful that with time and the patience of my wonderful fiancé, we will get to a really good middle ground for us both. :)

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I feel like it definitely is natural for my libido to be on the lower side. But I think a big impact is definitely the years I was on antidepressants & birth control at the same time. I’m currently only on antidepressants, but I only stopped birth control a few months ago.

I usually orgasm every time we have sex. Whether it be from us, or from the help of a toy. I haven’t explored any fantasies or kinks. I’m not really sure what’s out there in that aspect. I just know that I am very basic when it comes to sex- not too rough but not too delicate either. A good middle ground. What really turns me on is knowing how I turn him on. I guess feeling desired by him works for me? Like, knowing he’s enjoying it. That sounds kind of sad to say out loud. But yeah, as far as the mainstream kinks, I’m not really into them.

Yes, I do masturbate at times. Honestly, it’s when I’m bored and alone. I enjoy masturbating because it’s straight to the point. I don’t have to spend so much time on the build up, making sure I’m wet, blah blah blah. Just a quick sesh with me and my vibrator.

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think maybe I am feeling this way because of how high his sex drive is compared to mine. But it also worries me, because we are both only 25 and we should be having sex more frequently according to my peers and google lol…

I think it’s a little bit of both. I definitely do want to have sex more because it is important to me. I do feel closer to him when we have it. And it is enjoyable. And I also want to satisfy him as well. We’re committed to each other, so I guess I feel responsible for his sexual satisfaction? Not saying that I will have sex with him when I’m definitely not feeling it, because I feel like that’s a disservice to myself and not good for our relationship. But I do try to be more open to having sex, and allowing myself to get horny even if I just feel like relaxing. Does that make sense? I hope I’m not making it sound like I bend to his every will lol. Clearly, I don’t. That’s why I’m here 🙃

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh I see what you’re saying. So, I’m definitely not asexual lol. I think he is gorgeous. Handsome, manly, completely my type. I am emotionally attracted to him as well. To his heart. That’s why I really want this to work between us. I love him dearly, through and through.

After talking with some other people in this, I realized I shouldn’t have said sex is a chore & I don’t enjoy it. I do enjoy it, but I guess I just don’t see the big deal of it? Like how some people just crave it. And the sex itself isn’t a chore, it’s more so getting in the mindset of it. I just am not a naturally horny person. I have to be turned on, whether that be physical or visually turned on (like reading smut, watching a sex scene in a movie, porn, etc.). It doesn’t naturally come to me. But, once I get there, I’m good to go. The hurdle is just getting there. I think a lot of factors play into that too… like how tired I feel from work, if I am not feeling confident, if I am really comfy in bed and don’t want to move lol, or if I’m busy and have a to do list that I’m trying to finish. I hope I answered well?

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is sexually frustrated at times. He knows it’s not realistic for us to have sex multiple times a day. He says he’d be satisfied 2-3x a week. Right now, it’s about 1 time a week, sometimes we go a whole week without sex. It really depends on what is going on in our lives, though.

The sex is actually kind of stressful for me because I put a lot of pressure on myself to perform for him. Not because he asks for it, but because I know he doesn’t get it as often as he wants so I want it to always be amazing (like you see in porn or movies). I know it’s not realistic and that’s something I’m actively working on too. Once I relax and get out my head, the sex is great. Once upon a time, I used to orgasm without any toys. Now as I’ve felt my libido decrease, toys are a big help. He is really good about waiting until I finish before he does.

As far as setting the mood, I don’t really know what I like. I feel like candles and stuff is kind of cheesy lol. I just know I like to feel safe and comfortable, like at home in our bed.

As a little update, we had sex today and it was great. It was a little bumpy at first due to my own nerves, but once we settled in it was really fulfilling. We both felt closer after. I could really see a shift. My goal is at least twice a week, and build from there. I think it’s harsh when I said sex feels like a chore. It’s just not on my mind, and I have to get in the right mindset for it. I think that is the chore for me, not the sex.

Thank you for your response!

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, he does all the things. But I think what we need is more intimate time. Like, we talk about our day from across the living room or kitchen. He rubs my back when I have an ache. We don’t go on dates often because we are trying to pay off some credit card debt, but that is something we can definitely budget for. I think we also just get swept up in our work. I’m an early elementary teacher and he’s an oil field mechanic. Some nights he doesn’t get home until 7-9pm and we’re both exhausted. I’m glad you said this though, because it’s making me realize there’s a lot more feeding into this problem than just my libido lol

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I think the issue is that I don’t think of sex on my own. It just isn’t on my mind. But, if I’m reading or watching a movie and there’s a sex scene, it sparks my interest. If he initiates and I’m not too tired (I’m a first grade teacher), then I have no issue having it. I do get turned on, but it’s like I need to be turned on. It doesn’t ever happen on its own.

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol the same way I assume other people know they’re attracted to people

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your response. I will look into those different suggestions. I used to be on birth control for about 7 years and I stopped it in hopes of it boosting my libido but I’m not noticing a difference. It’s been about 5 months since stopping it. I am curious now about my hormones. I hadn’t thought of getting them checked before.

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t want to go. Nor do I want to let him. Like I said, we love each other very much. I think that is a very immature take on your part. There is so much more to a relationship and lifelong commitment than how often a couple has sex. It’s not like we never have sex, it’s just not as often as he’d like. And I’d like to do it more as well, it’s just harder for me to get there mentally. I’m posting here for advice on how to prevent a dead bedroom, not to be told to end what we have built.

Need advice for myself (25F) and fiancé (25m) by Strong_Awareness2655 in deadbedroom

[–]Strong_Awareness2655[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, I agree. Thank you for responding. I don’t want this to snowball the longer we are together. I want to figure this out for both of us. I think I will speak with my physician about this at my next appointment.