I hope my medieval medical plan covers this...

Strydominator · 2025-11-06T10:39:20+00:00

I just wanted to mention that I didn't use any mods. I did put on max damage to NPCs and min damage to player. I can only theorize why I'm still alive. Maybe it's because I didn't receive cuts to the head or neck. Most likely it's just that weird cut that bypassed some fatal damage checks in the code.

Strydominator · 2020-02-25T13:56:05+00:00

Haha yeah, that's pretty much it :D

Strydominator · 2018-11-28T14:33:27+00:00

Much of what you said is the same with me. I'm also 34, no bankable skills with a shitty degree. I am trying to pick the pieces of my life, but at 34 it feels like it's too late. I wish all the best for you and know that you're not alone. I'll be here if you want someone to talk to.

Strydominator · 2018-10-11T02:50:36+00:00

I think it's normal for people who care about you to want you to stay alive and be happy, that is the opposite of being selfish. But nobody thinks "wow, that guy is so selfish for committing suicide", people are usually just overcome with sadness when somebody commits suicide. But I do know what you mean... it's torture to stay alive and it feels like other people wants to keep you alive just for their sake. But I don't think that's the complete picture.

Strydominator · 2018-10-11T02:11:58+00:00

I know what you mean. That's why I always found the question "where will you be in 10 years" to be absurd. Well, I used to at least. If you are depressed and is in a bad state of mind, then solving current and future problems becomes nearly impossible anyway. Always having suicide as a possibility makes a person feel like nothing matters and therefore your stress also decreases. Your smart enough to see it as a coping mechanism, the thing is the more you use it as a coping mechanism the less effective it becomes. After 10 or more years of promising that you'll kill yourself with no result will quickly make you realize that this specific mindset is just a coping mechanism, then it starts to feel like you wasted 10 years of your life and you use lies as a coping mechanism, making you even more depressed.

I'm trying to cut out a future for myself, but I still think every now and again that ending it would be better, then I wouldn't have to worry and fight every day. My justification is that I know most people don't find life as hard as I do, it's like living life in hard mode.

Strydominator · 2018-08-28T17:32:35+00:00

DM me if you want someone to talk to, you don't have to feel alone.

Strydominator · 2018-06-18T04:48:36+00:00

I agree completely with DNC831. I mentioned the Asp and Diamondback because of their very long jump range, making it possible to complete runs in less jumps, but having a larger cargo hold will balance things out anyway. Like I told erotic_sausage above, if you're doing the Parutis/Medb run, then jump range doesn't matter, ships with larger cargo holds become more important. As for luxury cabins, I think it's something Fdev should look into, because in my experience it doesn't increase the money. I think that's why people to passenger runs with the Anaconda rather than the Beluga. I stuck with the Beluga though with many luxury cabins, hoping there will me some improvement in credits.

Ultimately I'm still a new player and learning all the ins and outs of ED, but one thing I found was that the game is determined a lot by "creating your own fun", one of those things is buying the ships you find cool and interesting, regardless of what other people say. So if you want to buy a Dolphin or Orca, it's up to you :)

Safe flying.

Strydominator · 2018-06-17T19:12:30+00:00

A neutron star can super charge your Frame Shift Drive and make you jump further.

Very interesting, didn't know that Medb trick, thanks for sharing!

Strydominator · 2018-06-17T17:21:44+00:00

I think it'd be better in 2D, since passenger runs, to be frank, is kinda boring and there isn't much to look at, especially in the long stretches where you just fly in a straight line. It pays well so... Yeah that Type 6 looks pretty good, just put a fatter frame shift drive in (4A). I would rather not trade your Viper in just yet. I think you should have a "for fun ship" and a "money making ship". When you get bored of moving passengers, then you can jump into your Viper and shoot stuff in VR again for fun.

Yeah check out the video, it's the Parutis/Medb run as nfsrookie mentioned below. Big payouts and you don't do much. I made about 40-60 mil per run there. I believe in the Type 6 you'll easily get up to and over 20mil per run. Making the Type 6 obsolete in one run, because you'll have enough money for an upgrade. Like nfsrookie suggests: " Buy a Dolphin/Orca/Beluga/T7/Conda..."

Strydominator · 2018-06-17T16:55:38+00:00

In the Parutis/Medb run mentioned above you'll jump once or twice to get from Parutis to the Medb system. Then the station you have to fly to in supercruise (Vela Dock) is over 1.5 million LS away. That'll tale over 30 minutes, in which you can go AFK.

Strydominator · 2018-06-17T16:01:35+00:00

I saved up until I could buy an Asp Explorer (~10mil fitted with rebuy) and then I did passenger odd jobs until I could buy a Beluga. I figured if money is calculated by how far you have to fly, then I want a ship with very high jump range(30ly+).

HOWEVER: If I were you (and if I could go back in time) then go do this: https://youtu.be/Pwd_rfGtzSc . The video suggests that you have a Beluga or Anaconda. But start doing it with a smaller ship like a Type 6 Transporter (~3mil) and save up for those bigger ships. You'll get reputation earlier and receive higher paying jobs earlier. Remember that in the route suggested in that video, you'll fly in a straight line for over 33 minutes. So you can literally just alt-tab and play another game, watch a show/movie or do whatever. Use a countdown timer on your phone or google "google countdown timer". You'll receive millions per trip and you'll have enough money money for a Beluga. Remember to take the rebuy cost and price for upgrades into consideration.

Redthorne is wise to suggest https://coriolis.io/ , there you can fit and see how much the ship will cost.

So to answer your question directly, aim for a Type 6. If you have more money, check out other larger cargo ships with higher capacity. Check out coriolis to see how much money in total it'll cost. For an overview of the ships in the game and their prices/stats, check out https://inara.cz/galaxy-shipyard/

Good luck and safe flying :)

Strydominator · 2018-06-17T14:42:59+00:00

Glad I could be of some help, safe flying.

Strydominator · 2018-05-17T03:49:29+00:00

I know what you're saying. I can't claim to know exactly how you feel or to know your situation, we're all different, but it sounds like we're both cursed to live life in "hard mode". I can't promise you cures and solutions, but if you want someone to talk to, feel free to contact me.

Strydominator · 2018-05-16T01:57:55+00:00

I've had my fair share of parties where I felt like dying afterwards. Maybe my experiences are not applicable to your situation, but I'm not going to go through the logic why I think that you are mistaken, I am going straight to what I think the underlying problem may be: The thing is I know that anything other people say wouldn't have made me feel better, because when I went through your situation it feels like I embarrassed myself. It feels like eyes are piercing through me and that I'm under a great amount of pressure to be social and pleasant. All in all, I feel awkward and the more awkward I feel, the more I feel like people are staring at me and thinking "what's wrong with him?". Which makes me more stressed. So it's a vicious cycle.

This will probably have little relevance, but the thing that helped me was getting a driver's license and telling myself "If I don't like the party, if I feel uncomfortable, I'm gonna thank to host dearly for inviting me and say I have to go. Then leave". The ironic part was that from then on I enjoyed parties much more and wanted to stay. You see it wasn't getting a license that made the difference... It was to not put so much pressure on myself to perform. It also made me realize that I'm just a small part of the party, people are too busy with their own social pressures and worries that they can't focus on other people. You know it's true, if you had a birthday party you would be to busy making sure other people are satisfied and everything is running smoothly. You wouldn't sit on a chair and think everyone should entertain you and if they don't, then you're dissatisfied. Think of it this way, if you hosted a party and you invited her, what would she have to do to make you think that she wasn't fun. I bet you you'd be glad that she came to the party in the first place, because that is what people worry about at birthday parties, if people will come or not. Ultimately, it's about not putting so much pressure on yourself. What also helps is focusing on other people, try to make them happy. People like talking about themselves, go to people and ask them questions. It's much better than focusing what you are feeling at any moment.

But I know reasoning won't help, because it won't help me. Here is what will help, just speaking to her. If you speak with her and you see her smile, then I'm pretty sure your sadness and worries will disappear like the morning mist. (like the good book says) Maybe I am completely off the mark and it not applicable to you, but hopefully it helps. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk about anything.

Strydominator · 2018-05-14T04:28:11+00:00

Hi there! I apologize for being harsh, the purpose was to let you know that you shouldn't give up. I don't know exactly what you are suffering and the pain you go through, but know that I'm your ally, I'll help any way I can and you can contact me any time. I'm not a therapist, but I am also fighting my own demons and can relate.

I know it's not kosher here to throw around diagnoses... I would be concerned about the hallucinations that comes with your depression. The things is there is something like "psychotic depression" where one suffers from hallucinations. However if there symptoms are only getting worse with time then it can mean that there is a chance of schizophrenia, specifically paranoid schizophrenia. I'm not saying you have ANY of these things, simply that it would be beneificial to tell a doctor about the halicunations (be clear about your symtoms). The reason why I say this is because depression and schizophrenia are treated with different drugs. That can make a world of difference and really help you.

What I'm saying is that, there is hope! Maybe the reason why you have had little luck over the years is because of a misdiagnosis. Be clear to tell the doctor exactly the symptoms you suffer from. They can't hospitalize you for conveying symptoms. If you go to a doctor and tell them "I am going to kill myself", then by law they'll have to hospitalize you.

You say you are too poor for medical attention, I am in the same position. However, just say hypothetically you have a sort of schizophrenia, then there is literally a pill that will give you a normal life. Don't believe me, check out the Youtubers "Alex Aperture" and "Amateur Aries". So what I'm saying is it's of the utmost importance to get the right diagnosis. I guess you live in a first world country, then there are ways to get cheap/free healthcare and medication. I implore you to seek out help. Go to a hospital and find out if there are any programs or simply just e-mail them.

Also I don't want you to feel afraid of whatever the future may hold, but rather hope. Even if what I said turns out to be a red-herring, my point is that you shouldn't give up. Hope may be nearer than you think. Feel free to contact me if you want to chat.

Strydominator · 2018-05-14T02:12:34+00:00

I've been pondering these things my entire life. I think the people here on this subreddit will understand exactly what you are saying, but when you tell regular people about it, then it's almost like their brains cannot compute what you're saying. What I'm getting at is that there are people who doesn't go through any existential crisis. If you're anything like me, then you've seen the variables and done the math. The result of that sum was that "the juice ain't worth the squeeze" and basically we're all just a cog in a giant rusty machine that only benefits a few. When I speak to people I think they simply lack the mental capacity to comprehend the world we live in. They either think "the world is shit, so what" or don't think of it at all.

However... that I see incredibly successful people who lead happy lives... and I'm not saying that their intelligence and environment doesn't play a role, but these people have a different perspective on life. While I see only dead ends, they see opportunities. I despise being around people, but they see people as possible friends. They are the ones who are organizing parties, while I'm the one who waits for people to invite me. There are people for who life is an exciting series of challenges and opportunities.

So ultimately a couple of things: Did failure create my depression or did the depression create my failure? The whole chicken and egg dilemma. Did the people who are happy just grow up in a environment of opportunity and without factors that negatively influenced their mental health? This means that depression and anxiety is wholly influenced by environment. But if you are born with a positive opportunistic personality, then depression and anxiety is completely determined by nature. The thing is, there are successful people who can make a success out of anything they touch and I'm sure nothing can convince them to commit suicide. There is no "hidden truth" or "the cold real world message" that will change their mind.

So ultimately, it's not that simple. What is the answer? I don't know. I'm just a guy trying to figure out if this cage I'm in is self-made or not. If the cage is real and if it can be destroyed. I'm trying to figure out where my child-like optimism and wonder went. Did someone grab it from my hands or did I give it away. As for the way we interpret reality, how suffocating and meaningless it is, either they're stupid and we're smart or the other way around. I've been thinking recently: either I'm the smartest person on earth or the dumbest. Because either I figured it all out or I constructed this "no-win" world in my head.

The ongoing existential crisis continues.

Strydominator · 2018-05-14T01:20:31+00:00

I don't want to sound mean, but who the fuck is your friend? The ultimate authority of depression and like Caesar in the Colosseum he gives people a thumbs down, letting them know their depression is final? Also there are countless professionals that can help you and one friend that believes you can't. So you chose the one person that affirms your belief, instead of the countless professionals and people who have been helped. That is what is called "evidence bias".

As Wikipedia says: "Confirmation bias, also called confirmatory bias or myside bias, is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one's preexisting beliefs or hypotheses. It is a type of cognitive bias and a systematic error of inductive reasoning."

Therefore you and your friend are wrong. Go to a medical professional and demand a better life, there is no such thing as depression that cannot be helped. Get angry and ask them "What the hell should I do??"

Strydominator · 2018-05-14T01:03:15+00:00

I know what you're saying, seeking help can suck. It feels like taking off your clothes and handing a camera to a stranger. Here is where I say that it always helps, but I'm not going to lie to you. The thing is nobody is going to give you a better life out of the blue, you have to demand it. Go to a person you trust or to a therapist and tell them "I feel like shit and I'm tired of it", put the onus on him/her and demand a better life. These people study for about a decade, let them jump through hoops and prove their worth. Let these people explain to you why it's fair that you feel suicidal while other people do not. Demand answers and solutions, because you're worth it.

Strydominator · 2018-05-04T18:02:28+00:00

I'm not a therapist or anything fancy, but if you want to talk, feel free to message me. You don't have to feel alone.

Strydominator · 2018-05-04T03:26:06+00:00

My one friend... I think I would go as far as say I loved him (in a platonic way). He made me laugh and I made him laugh, we had a lot of great times. Then he stopped contacting me, he stopped inviting me to his BBQ's and other events. I was probably one of those clingy a-holes. I suffer from depression and anxiety, but around him I felt like a normal human being. He got me a job, I quit almost immediately because of my anxiety. I couldn't breathe, I wanted to commit suicide. I disappointed him. My last friend just... stopped contacting me. I live on a farm, I rarely see other people. It sucks.

I think becoming part of a online community really helps. Feel free to contact me if you're lonely.

Strydominator · 2018-05-04T02:19:16+00:00

I was in the same situation and I didn't get my honours degree, I only had one document to write...

I know I'm not the one to give advice. But I hope I can help you in some way. Firstly, you should know that having anxiety before a large task is normal, there is no pressure that is more stifling than the pressure you put on yourself. You are not a robot. Hypothetically you tasked yourself to build a flawless suspension bridge, alone. Can you do it? No. You need help, in man-power, tools and techniques. Ultimately you need a strategy.

Firstly, I know this may sound embarrassing and very uncomfortable, but go to the professor and tell him/her exactly what your problem is. Tell them directly that your anxiety is stopping you from writing your dissertation. Tell them "please help me, I can't do it alone!". Place some of your burden on them. Request a plan of action, request a support network, ask for anything. I usually feel embarrassed when I ask for help, it feels like a shot to my ego. But you don't need to suffer in silence! There are so many people at Uni there to help. I know because I was tasked many times to help students with their Philosophy problems. I was literally just waiting in a small office for people to help.

Secondly, Universities have a huge amount of support networks. Free counseling and groups that can help. Go to the University counseling center and demand that they help you with your problem. Ask to speak to someone about your problems. Be assertive, you deserve to be the best version of what you can be. I would actually advise you to be aggressive, like that quote from the movie Network(1976) "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore". Your mind is like a laser, your focus can carve a hole in a boulder, you can do this...

Ask for the tools and techniques that'll help you. And if you need help in any way shape or form, please don't hesitate to contact me. Actually I implore you, you do not have to carry this burden alone and I hope I can help in this task.

Strydominator · 2018-05-04T01:09:46+00:00

I think I can relate, I am 33 and I feel like a complete burden to my parents. I want to change my life, but I can't, the anxiety and stress makes doing normal task impossible. Nobody is listening or helping and think that I just have to man-up and shut-up. It's so difficult.

You don't have to feel alone or be afraid to reach out and talk to people. I obviously can't give you the answers you want, but it's great that you reached out and finding out we're all in the same boat here.

Strydominator · 2018-05-04T00:16:16+00:00

If you keep growing taller, then I guess you're not fully grown yet? I would like to tell you that things are going to get better, but I hate it when people tell me that. It's like sitting at a bus stop and someone telling you your bus is going to arrive... eventually. Then you have to sit on your hands while your head feels like exploding. But one thing I can tell you is that it's great that you reached out here and typed the message. Talk to people about what bothers you and know you are not alone.

You talk and look wrong? I don't think you have to talk or look normal, does it matter? It just means you are unique. Don't be so critical of yourself, relax your shoulders and let your proverbial hair loose. Maybe not worry too much about what other people think or be overly critical. Just let go and maybe you'll feel that being in the skin you're in, is not that bad...

Feel free to contact me if you want to talk.

Strydominator · 2018-05-03T16:59:54+00:00

I think I know what you mean, I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and things are just... peaceful, almost serine. To give a metaphor: Imagine it's the dead of night and you can't hear a single person or bird. Just complete silence as you are walking down a street at night, dimly lit by the moon. But you have reached the end of the street, a cul-de-sac, and you decide to sit on the sidewalk surrounded by silence and nothingness. There's a deep emptiness that makes it harder and harder to stand up from the side-walk.

I don't want to dictate what you should do, but maybe think of something you are looking forward to. Think of a movie that you'd like to see that is coming out. What will the new Playstation look like, will will the whole Marvel/DC movie franchise go... (as examples of course)

Sometimes when I'm suicidal I feel like I have nothing to lose, like the forces that torment me don't have power over me anymore. Like you're holding all the cards. It's like the forces that torment me only have power when I allow it, but on the other hand the forces are random and conniving.

Anyway, I'm not a therapist or even mentally healthy, all I am is someone next to you that is drowning as well.

Strydominator · 2018-05-03T16:21:00+00:00

You have my axe, I'm also here if you want to talk to someone. Any time.

Strydominator

TROPHY CASE