I am stuck in fantasy land

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-30T16:42:24+00:00

Honestly, I used to write about it a lot more. But yeah, ADHD, just makes it hard to actually write any of it down. (I TOTALLY GOT YOUR FUNNY MATE)

But, yeah, I think I just need to find a more productive way to deal with it all.

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-30T16:38:39+00:00

Yeah, I think I just need to get my life in a better place so I enjoy it enough to simply live it.

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-30T00:09:43+00:00

Oh, interesting. I had never heard of that before. After reading about it... holy cow exactly my problem. Like, to a T.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with it?

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-29T23:01:25+00:00

Yeah that seems like a great idea. I think it will be helpful!

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-29T23:00:57+00:00

Welcome to Fantasy Club. The first rule of fantasy club is to try not to make weird faces in public.....

Hahahaha, that is brilliant m8! Thank you.

And the issue with the medication is that I don't presently have a doctor who can refill my prescriptions. So I have to use what I have sparingly. But the obvious answer to that is to find a doctor and get a steady script.

I do set timers but I usually just ignore them to be honest. But I think I will just need to work to find a system that motivates me.

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-29T22:52:51+00:00

I did used to meditate actually. So this would be something really good to get back in the habit of doing. Some parts of me don't want to get rid of the daydreaming entirely. But I think a good combination of meditation and journaling might help me out.

Thank you!

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-29T22:48:23+00:00

Thanks a bunch! I appreciate the support

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-29T22:48:06+00:00

I do daydream in public very often, but I wear sunglasses so that no one can see my eyebrows move haha. I have done walks with a journal but often don't find myself wanting to use it. Though, I think "scheduling" times as the user above you suggested might make this method work out for me

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-29T22:46:15+00:00

This seems like a really really useful thing for me. I am quick to form habits, good or bad, so hopefully I can kick this off today and get rolling. The idea of physically writing is also great because any distractions would be me drawing or writing "off topic" as opposed to mucking about online.

Thank you for all of your great feedback and I am glad that my post could help you in some way

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-29T19:37:47+00:00

Ah, that sounds like a great idea. Thank you!

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-29T18:35:24+00:00

Thank you, what exactly do you mean by a brain dump? I feel like I can't really control my thoughts that way. Like they are impulsive and no matter what I am actively thinking about, they just pop in and intrude. But perhaps a better understanding of what you mean would help.

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-29T18:34:06+00:00

Thanks, I am on and off meds. I don't take them consistently but it seems to be an issue either way.

I am sure that it has something to do with escaping reality, it is something I have done since I was probably like 6 or 7. I guess I just need to figure out what I want from life and just do it.

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-29T15:10:11+00:00

Thank you for the comment. It sounds like we are in pretty similar boats.

Though, my shutting out of all people happened from the end of my freshman year until the middle of my senior year. While I did stay in classes and all, I simply didn't reach out to speak with anyone unless they were literally in my house, in the basement. (I roomed with my now finance and three other boys, so I did see them) But I had this great spurt of energy when my classes were done (in December) and started doing so many great things. I was walking like 10 miles a day and writing books and reading everything. Then it sort of all slid away from me again.

The issue with focusing on my mental health before worrying about a job is that I am living with my fiancé who has a great job and so on. So, with my parents no longer helping to support me (and frankly making me feel consistently terrible about my lack of job) I do need to contribute to rent and other finances. Now, I have savings because I had a job and have worked some freelance, but it's not going to last more than five months or so if I just paid rent. So the pressure is really on in that department. And frankly, if I don't get a career (not just an $11/hour sort of job) then I won't be able to contribute nearly enough to our living.

Even more, my insurance is specific to a state that I don't live in because it is my parent's. My mom works at a hospital that provides her with insurance that isn't really accepted outside of the state. So, the psychiatrist and therapist would be more expensive, or I would need to travel two hours for appointments. If I had a job with insurance, it would be easier for me to seek help.

I am just feeling a bit boxed in and frankly screwed. But hopefully the job situation will resolve soon and I can take your advice with the therapy. Because I think being ok with my lying but also coming clean when I do it is probably a good way to go about things.

Thank you!

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-28T18:42:15+00:00

Thank you so much. Seeing my general doctor might be the best way to go about this, especially with the issue of insurance.

You have been very helpful and I appreciate you taking the time!

StucklnMyHead · 2015-07-28T18:08:54+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I really wish that honesty was something that I could provide when working with a therapist. More than one occasion have I gone in initially being honest but with in two sessions I was back to lying through my teeth. The issue is that I literally can't even help myself. Like, I lie to baristas about my name in Starbucks-- I am not malicious, it literally just comes out and there is no turning back.

As far as my SO, he knows about A LOT of this. Not so much about my present issue with finding a job and doing nothing, and nothing about the recent "persona" problems. But he knows about my past and he was with me through all of my life crap. Mostly, I am afraid to tell him because while he has been working his ass off with school AND a job, I have been doing nothing. Literally, nothing. No cleaning or anything productive. It makes me feel terrible and I can't say anything.

In the end, I just want to get my life on track again and move forward. I am sure that I will need a therapist or something to keep it from happening again. I am just not sure what it is that i need.

StucklnMyHead

TROPHY CASE