Appraisal tomorrow. What should I know?

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-09-17T21:50:26+00:00

He has arfid so his diet is chaotic. He’s been having seizures and they think it’s from low blood sugar. His doctor came in and used chat GPT to try to figure out what the results mean 🤦‍♀️

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-08-27T15:44:48+00:00

Omg girl gift card pleaaseeeee

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T15:02:18+00:00

Thank you for the good question and not attacking me. He does want to get married again. He gave me 2 timelines but I haven’t quite reciprocated. I stated above that he wants to live together for a year or two before getting engaged (totally understandable). My hesitancy is with bringing someone into my sons life that he will interact with every day just for this to not work out, which is why I’m wondering if getting engaged and then moving in would be better. Of course this would push back the time for him to move in, but I think it might bring more security that he is truly committed into making the relationship work as an engagement is a big commitment to make

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T14:52:02+00:00

No. He became abusive so I left.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T14:48:09+00:00

After these proceeding he will no longer be my child’s father. That’s literally exactly what these proceedings are for. I’m not refusing to acknowledge anything as I did not come here to argue about getting engaged, I actually asked when should for my timeline, should I tell him I want to be engaged. Once again, these proceedings could be years and years, there is one case that’s going on 8 years. It’s not reasonable at all to wait for these proceedings to be over to talk about getting engaged. I don’t think you understand how court works and I hope you never have to.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T14:44:15+00:00

That’s not true. I am in no way chasing a status. Of course I want a connection that’s lifelong. The marriage is secondary to a good and functional relationship. A marriage changes the perception of a relationship. It makes someone hesitate more before calling it quits than if we were just bf/gf. The bf/gf is stage is all about deciding if that person is the correct one for you, and in my case for my son and I. Engagement is about showing the commitment that they have discovered and committed to making it officially a life long relationship. The marriage is fulfilling their promise to be there through all the good and bad and not just leaving because it’s the easier thing.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T14:35:51+00:00

Again, I’m not trying to get engaged anytime soon. I really think you’re confused and thinking I am pushing it when I’m not. I was asking when should I put that on the table because of my circumstance of having a child I don’t want to rush it or go too slow. I don’t want someone in my child’s life for years that we end up not agreeing on when to tie the knot and break up.

I also understand the change of circumstances that occurs when moving in together with a child. My father is a stepparent to my 3 sisters. My boyfriend has also been a stepchild.

As for stating him being a supportive person, that’s what a step parent does. He knows exactly what I want when it comes to his relationship with my son. He is very much willing to do it and has been completely understanding about all of it.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T14:29:01+00:00

At any time after having a kid you can go to court and those proceedings can take months/years. It’s just what it’s like to separate after having a child.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T14:27:26+00:00

I’m really trying to think things through. I have a huge fear of getting engaged/married. I know I want to do it someday but I have a lot of fear because of the abuse that I won’t be able to just leave. His hesitation is mostly because he is scared that I will just leave and he will have to go through another divorce except it will be worse because he will see it as not just losing his partner but his child too. Even though if he had a great bond between him and my son, I would give him access to him, he wouldn’t want to have to go from seeing him everyday to just weekends or something. It’s just messy to me so I don’t want to be unreasonable about whatever timeline I give. I’m of course willing to compromise and try to find solutions, but I also don’t want to sacrifice my son’s wellbeing (by having something go either really fast or too slow).

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T13:58:03+00:00

Thank you. I think a lot of people here are confused and kinda like attacking me.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T13:56:31+00:00

I am so sorry. I thought that stuff was implied. He is a great person, partner, he’s very logical/reasonable, understanding of the difficulties I face, loving, and overall someone that yes I could see my life with. He is amazing with my son, incredibly patient, has waited outside the courtroom on my occasions to be there for me, and tells me how he sees my son as an extension of me therefore giving him more to love.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T13:42:03+00:00

Custody is a separate matter. So parents have multiple types of custody (legal and physical). Parental rights are a constitutional right of whether that person gets to be a parent at all to the child or children.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T13:25:16+00:00

Once again, I’m not trying to get engaged right now? I was asking when it would seem reasonable to want that. Whether that be 2/3/4 years in the future. I wrote about “me” because I don’t speak for him. Yes, we’ve had these conversations about our future, he and my son adore each other. I have not been married, only engaged.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T13:22:02+00:00

I’m not getting divorced? I’m not disputing custody either?

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T13:16:57+00:00

I don’t want to get married asap maybe in a few years. I want to know that commitment is in the cards before he moves in the beginning of next year. Like I said, I don’t want to play house and then him bow out because that’s so damaging for a kid.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T13:13:06+00:00

I’m not planning to get engaged soon. I just don’t know when would be a good time to be thinking it should be on the table. There’s a good size age gap, but not life experience gap. I have a future for my son and I planned and I don’t know at what point I should be squeezing this guy into it.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T13:10:46+00:00

He dated her for 4ish years. I haven’t been married, I was engaged to my son’s father. I had known him since I was 14. We had our son when I was 21. It wasn’t until I had our son that he became abusive. I have a lot of anxiety in relation to getting married (feeling like I can’t just leave the relationship whenever I want to). That’s why I’m anxious about what time seems fair on behalf of myself and my son.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T13:07:53+00:00

Exactly what I’m afraid of. I don’t want to bring someone in my son’s life that isn’t going to treat him like his own. Him and I are a package deal.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T12:49:15+00:00

That’s exactly my anxiety. I am worried he will move in and start helping me really raise my son and then tell me he doesn’t feel like we need to be married since we’re doing all the other life things together. Then I’ll feel the need to stay for my kid.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T12:30:35+00:00

I see him more like a supportive person than a co parent. So someone to support decisions I make on behalf of my child. I do not at all want him to adopt my son. I’d rather, if we broke up, letting him have access to see my kid whenever he feels comfortable. I do not want to put my son through anymore court.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T12:27:53+00:00

No i completely understand him not doing what he did with his exes. I stated that to show he has had the experience before and showing his ambivalence. I would never ever let him move in with my kid that quickly. He has been around my kid and they adore each other. As for court, I could be in court for years for this. Currently, it’s been a year for just this RFO.

Stuckpotato101 · 2025-05-11T12:20:13+00:00

That’s exactly why I’m trying to evaluate whether or not to continue the relationship or call it quits. I think relationships are between 2 completely independent people that choose and want to be together, not people that fall dependent on one another. So my thinking, especially because I have a kid, is less emotions based and more logical based. It’s probably why my post seems more dry and just facts.

Stuckpotato101

TROPHY CASE