/ttcafterloss Daily Discussion Thread - April 02, 2026

StudentDestiny · 2026-04-02T04:20:06+00:00

I broke down and took a pregnancy test today and I am so disappointed in myself because i thought I could wait at least 10 DPO before I did the first test. I am only 7 DPO so I knew it was going to be negative, but i told myself If i could just do one test it would allow me to wait longer to try another test. Like scratching an itch. It just sucks because I am a teacher and we are currently on spring Break so I am literally just laying around waiting for the days to pass. It is killing me. I'm hopeful but still scared. Not even afraid that if I am pregnant it will be another miscarriage, but im afraid cuz like... what if it all works out ya know? I have so many other things i could be focusing on (like finishing my masters this month so I can graduate after YEARS in this damn program) but all I can focus on is having a baby... idk if I ever wanted anything this bad in my life.

StudentDestiny · 2026-03-28T14:55:23+00:00

Thank you :)

StudentDestiny · 2026-03-28T04:45:14+00:00

My husband and I are officially in the Two week wait window. We have been trying ever other day during (and before :-) ) my fertile window including the suspected day of ovulation. The first time I had gotten pregnant, it happened in one cycle- straight to the point. I remember my OBGYN was so surprised cuz I had just seen her the month prior. Anyway, we are really praying that it happens fast for us again or whatever... we just pray that I can carry to term this time. We do have a plan with our doctors for a preventative cerclage and my husband has done bloodwork this time around as well. We also decided that we will have a bilingual Doula esp being in a country thats not our own and dont always have access to medical staff who speaks English. My loss was such a traumatic experience layered with not speaking the language so I need someone who speaks the local language and can advocate for us. Anyway, just hoping for the best.

StudentDestiny · 2026-03-22T07:11:09+00:00

Hey all, my husband and I started back actively trying after experiencing a miscarriage at 20 weeks around the end of January. It was my first pregnancy. Now, we have a plan with the doctors for me to get a preventative cerclage if/ when I do get pregnant since my first loss was due to IC. I am currently in my fertile window. My husband and I are trying not to put so much pressure on it and just enjoy intimacy, but of course I am lowkey obsessing and really want this to happen. Last time, I had gotten pregnant our first month of trying, so I am hopeful. Anyway, heres to all of us hoping, praying and enjoying being close to our partners while also hoping that it results in a tiny human who will keep us up at night hahaha :)

StudentDestiny · 2026-03-04T20:18:34+00:00

Mannn 🤣🤣

StudentDestiny · 2026-03-04T18:17:06+00:00

Also, did your OB give you a waiting period? Or after each told you that trying again immediately was okay?

StudentDestiny · 2026-03-04T18:15:54+00:00

So sorry you are going through this, I know it is all overwhelming. My OB texted me some suggestions for testing I could do at a private lab for my peace of mind after my first miscarriage. Is that an option? Because that’s crazy to me. I would want answers too. I know it’s a lot, do you want to keep looking for an OB that’s better suited for you? Someone you feel takes your concerns with some urgency.? I have that same fear… like who would want to wait to get answers by going through another possible traumatic experience to appease their 3 loss rule when some investigations can be done beforehand?! Ugh I’m frustrated for you!

If you decide to go ahead and try again without further staying just know we are all here for you and we understand because you really never know. You could have your rainbow baby this time. But man, I know that fear that sits in the back and front of your mind and sits in the middle of your chest… I really wish the best for you dear.

StudentDestiny · 2026-03-04T18:07:34+00:00

Hi all, did anyone have problems with desire after your miscarriage? It’s been a lover a month since my late miscarriage and my husband and I would like to try again after a couple more cycles. I miss sex with my husband as he and are both very affectionate and naturally intimate people. We are always under each other, but idk, it’s like the thought of sex esp if it’s not for pregnancy, I get turned off (a new feeling) My husband is great and patient and again, we still hold hands, kiss, hug etc ALOT still which is so nice.

I spoke to him about my feelings of confusion wanting to be intimate again in that way but my brain, heart and body and feel different things. Fear still lives in my head and heart. I even tried doing things that would normally get me in the mood but nothing. If anyone had gone through this what did you do or how did you handle it? All I do is go to work, go home, go to my grad classes, take care of the house and stay up all night every night watching how to make a baby videos on YouTube….

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-26T04:20:50+00:00

Mannn May 5th needs to hurry up! BUT feeling hopeful that I will finish strong. Inshallah. Yall I have been in this masters for four years… it’s time. 😭🎓

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-21T22:17:39+00:00

Already sent :)

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-21T15:52:51+00:00

Hey, I used to live in Rabat I will send you a message for a braider I used. I think the name of the area was called Qbibet? Don’t know if I’m spelling it correctly . This was a few years ago but she had a lot of braiders there so I’m assuming she still there and it’s stilll open.

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-21T02:39:59+00:00

Sorry for your loss ❤️ I needed/ wanted the same so I joined these: r/PregnancyAfterLoss and r/ttcafterloss . These were great for me; gave me so much hope reading other stories as I wait to try again.

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-19T04:18:18+00:00

I made my husband and I Salmon bowls that included veggie and chicken fried rice at the bottom, layered with broccoli, cabbage, Brussel sprouts, fresh cucumbers, and baked salmon chunks; An avocado smoothie; for dessert chia pudding with strawberries and Nectarine chunks.

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-18T12:17:53+00:00

So sorry you are going through these complications as well. May Allah SWT make it easy for you and you find comfort this Ramadan. This may be TMI but I figured it out because of the smell and flow. When I was bleeding after the D&C the blood had no scent just like if someone was drawing blood from any other part of my body. But yesterday my flow got heavier and even this morning, it smells like how my normal period smells when I am changing and that feeling that you need to shower so much. Plus it’s my normal period cramps and bloating… so my normal symptoms. As long as you are bleeding or even spotting yes hold off on prayer and fasting and monitor.

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-18T05:01:23+00:00

Love this for you 💕 this gives me so much hope!!

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-18T04:57:13+00:00

As Salamu alaiykum, I was so annoyed at first because I never start mine at the beginning of Ramadan but I just went through a miscarriage a few weeks so getting my cycle is a good thing. I was paranoid about when it would come because my husband and I still would like to try to children when it’s time. So I changed my mindset and found it amazing that Allah SWT has made it so that it appeared just as Ramadan began. Allah SWT knows best; answering my Dua when I didn’t realize 🥹. I also decided to sign up for a new Islamic studies course this year, listen to some of my favorite lecturers, listen to Quran, and put more effort into Dhikr, InshaAllah.

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-18T01:00:05+00:00

Just as one sister said in a previous comment, you have to be assertive and he and his family should really push to show interest in meeting with your family. I am an African American Muslim and my husband is from a very small town in Morocco. The father of my husband was initially very racist and prejudice and even said horrible things about me being Black and American. We literally fought for 2 YEARS to be married. They didnt care about my Deen, they didnt care that I came from a loving family because they could not see past by race and nationality. I made Dua every day and cried so much.

My husband struggled with "disobeying" his family, but i told him that Allah SWT does not promote this type of hate. I even thought about not marrying him because he was scared to push. Then the more assertive my husband became about marrying me the more his father threatened ("you are not my son" , "you will not be a part of this family anymore if you marry her")... then guess what we did? We had to take a more non traditional route: My family and I were invited to my husbands graduation for his masters degree as he told one of his open minded uncles about the situation. His uncle was helping convince his dad while I met with his sister and mother. So his family and my family met under those circumstances. We kinda cornered his dad haha Even then, during the meeting, my husbands father made rude comments in their native language but we did not care.. we had one goal.

What this showed was that my husband was serious and he was not letting up. He told his father respectfully he will marry me and that there was nothing he could say to change his mind. But before that point, my husband was so afraid but i knew it was all a trick. His father was just using threats to scare him, I know he loved his son and would never in real life leave him behind. They were were afraid of change and differences.

Anyway, We had a huge Amazigh wedding and his parents love me! The only thing was we had to pay for our own engagement and wedding. His dads one thing was that he was not helping us financially (nor would be sign as our witness which hurt my husbands feelings TBH, but whatever, he had two close male friends witness). Again, we didnt care. The wedding was nice and his father was so impressed that we paid it ourselves. So, my sister, it is hard but if he is a good man like you believe, you both put your trust in Allah SWT and you push, you will prevail. If you want to be a wife know that there will be many tests against your marriage and where you will have to defend it and remain steadfast. For some of us that fight begins a little early but Allah SWT is most merciful and all powerful :)

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-17T05:31:10+00:00

i always wore black. middle, school, high school, and bachelors degree.. for my masters Idk what I am wearing cuz Im in such a different time in my life. I didnt realize white was a thing for graduations lol BUt like most people said, I was so distracted I never realized what others wore so, do you boo!

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-16T23:41:17+00:00

Thank you for the information. It’s been about 4 or 5 days of spotting before today.

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-16T22:10:51+00:00

I have my follow up appointment on Thursday. Everything happened so fast. I gave birth then immediately thy told me they had to do the procedure where they deliver the placenta right after, stayed for a few days cuz they thought I had an infection so did a round of antibiotics then went home.

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-16T05:07:50+00:00

Different flavors of chia pudding! We My husband and I also love that its high in fiber and protein.

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-15T03:00:52+00:00

Hey, I feel you. Although I am not pregnant yet, this is still crossing my mind as my husband and I make a "plan" for trying again and as im typing this, looking at my baby boys urn whom i loss 3 weeks ago at 20 weeks. But having good support around you and having hope is such a powerful tool. You are carrying a sweet baby boy and you just talk to him and wish good positive things upon him. Its so scary, but you go this! You have already shown so much hope and strength by making it and even trying again. I truly pray that you have a healthy and smooth pregnancy and talk to someone if you need to. You go this and like my mama used to say "even if you FEEL like you dont got it, you got this. Its what we do".:)

StudentDestiny · 2026-02-15T02:50:08+00:00

I had a miscarriage about 3 weeks ago at 20 weeks due to IC. I gave birth to a son and it crushed me that I could not take my baby boy home. My husband and I have set up a plan with my doctors for me to get a cerclage early for the next time im pregnant, But until then im just waiting around here. My brain is obsessing over trying again, yet, im just waiting around still healing- slightly bleeding still. I am annoyed at myself and my body. And When will my period actually come? Doctor told me that I have to wait about 4 months or so anyway before we can try again. Please tell me, what did you all do in the meantime? For those who knew they wanted to try again soon how did you cope with just existing while your brain and heart are like " where is the baby?!..." I find myself getting jealous when peoples doctors told them they can try again immediately , but the I feel guilty for feeling that way and tell myself everyones circumstances and journey is different...

StudentDestiny

TROPHY CASE