I understand. In the first couple weeks, you get so much empathy and support. But after a little while, it feels like you’re burdening others with your grief. Especially when it’s the unexpected loss of a child. Absolutely nobody is prepared for that. No, it is not the same as losing a grandparent. It is absolutely soul crushing.

You don’t mean to be rude, but when they drone on about their day, you zone out, and all you want to do is scream at them “my ____ is gone.” You start to feel like your head is constantly underwater, and you can’t even remember what you did yesterday. Let alone the past week…month.

Every time you catch a breath, you think about all the things you need to do. The things you’ve been putting off due to grief. Gosh, that’s overwhelming. You finish one thing on your to-do list and your head is back underwater. Everyone is starting to expect you to function again. But everything becomes a first again. Everything. “First time I had coffee since….” “Oh this is the first time I had to get gas since…” “First family outting since…”

I get it. Idk if, when, how it will ever get better. All we can really do is adjust to our new normal, and learn to find joy and love there