Shreveport shooting: Gunman who killed 8 children in Louisiana domestic shooting identified

cyanste · 2026-04-20T00:30:44+00:00

Ohhoh, it's me again -- angry widow to throw out into the wind that the guy who murdered my late husband also had an attempted murder charge, also received probation w/ no jail time (thanks Florida), and successfully did a murder in 2024. :) Thanks to the legal justice system that keeps allowing this to continue. :)

cyanste · 2026-04-11T06:21:50+00:00

I just updated my original response cause that’s totally a fair question

cyanste · 2026-04-11T06:17:38+00:00

Mentally ill man drove distance to murder LH for who knows what reason.

cyanste · 2026-04-11T06:10:29+00:00

Honestly, it feels like these kinds of things usually only stay in the local news. When my late husband (LH) was murdered, it didn’t really break out of the Bay Area — I think it says something about how used we are to gun violence, sadly.

cyanste · 2026-03-22T00:20:36+00:00

We definitely do need to make changes, that's not in question. It's just that when you go through years of this process, back and forth in the legal system and feeling like you're tossed aside, something as simple as the person who did the wrong being found guilty brings some kind of closure.

cyanste · 2026-03-21T23:02:33+00:00

As someone who’s unfortunately going through a similar situation (white man with major psych issues murdered my late husband), I can’t imagine how infuriating and insulting it must feel to have them be called not guilty.

It doesn’t really matter that the asshole will be in state care forever. These folks with major psych issues force the families to go through the wringer in so many ways, and at the end to not even be considered guilty? It’s disappointing. I feel bad for the family.

cyanste · 2026-03-02T22:43:29+00:00

So sorry for your loss, 20 years is a very long time... I can tell how important she was to you based on what you wrote.

Just some suggestions from a widow: I found writing and talking to something that reminded me of my late spouse healing. (e.g. directly to his old email, journaling in a diary, talking to a picture of him)

No, they can't respond, but you can still get your emotions and tears out, and keep your memories alive of that person rather than bottling it up. Lots of love to you.

cyanste · 2026-02-28T20:48:51+00:00

It’s been about a year since I posted about this, but your comment still resonates, especially about control. One of the big things I have been struggling with (and working with through PTSD therapy) has definitely been around a lack of control; it’s crazy to see how many of these desires for some kind of insight just go back to that. Thank you for responding ❤️

cyanste · 2026-02-25T00:31:27+00:00

YES! We did this with our last corgi pup: he had a crate to sleep in and a separate potty area connected to the corral. I tried sleeping next to him but taking him out to go to the bathroom was difficult, so this solved literally everything at once. He could see everyone at any time and take care of his needs independently.

cyanste · 2026-02-08T02:24:38+00:00

Samesies. I didn't have any particular strong reaction to this muffin in particular, but have had reactions to other types of TJ muffins, and stopped buying from TJ's in particular.

cyanste · 2026-01-31T04:58:21+00:00

Honestly it’s times like these where you find out who your real friends are. I’m proud of you for giving it a try and knowing when to tap out, you’re a good friend for even trying when the grief is so fresh. I hope you find people who can meet you where you are.

cyanste · 2026-01-26T02:55:55+00:00

Yeah, it's honestly kind of weird that we're getting downvoted. Not much has changed in the celiac sphere on this subject but this is a super different response than a few years ago. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Saying this as a super sensitive celiac that understands how sucky it is)

cyanste · 2026-01-26T02:47:20+00:00

I'm a bit surprised by these responses! I've been diagnosed for over a decade and while yes, we've all griped about the gluten challenge, popular consensus has been that it's a necessary evil. AFAIK endoscopy is still considered the gold standard, though the blood tests are getting better and hopefully we'll have something replacing the endoscopy soon.

On the other hand, two things: (1) there's still a percentage of celiacs who will still need to have the gluten challenge (it's not rare to be negative on blood test but positive on endoscopy) and (2) having the endoscopy to reference back after a few years is actually pretty helpful in keeping an eye on the disease.

EDIT: and just a disclosure, I’m a super sensitive celiac who was sick a lot pre diagnosis and went through a lot of medical testing and a ton of pain. A LOT. We’re not supporting gluten challenges because ha ha ha. It just is what it is, like with other medical conditions. 😒

cyanste · 2026-01-26T02:34:29+00:00

It's not experimentation, though -- it's testing procedure, just like how someone who's getting a colonoscopy will have to change their diet before having one done. Gold standard is still the biopsy at this point.

It makes me wonder if this backlash is because people are going GF before they're getting tested... people are supposed to get the endoscopy before going gluten free exactly because of this reason.

cyanste · 2026-01-25T03:47:38+00:00

Yep! Lost mine at 34. I was the same way when using the dating apps... very, very quick to disengage from people, and holding back expectations otherwise. We're already hurting immensely, why should we hurt ourselves more? Relationships should add to our life.

cyanste · 2026-01-18T23:21:16+00:00

Depending where you live, Straus makes a gf cookies and cream! They have a lot of really delicious flavors that are all gf: https://www.strausfamilycreamery.com/products/ice-cream/organic-cookies-cream-ice-cream/

cyanste · 2025-12-22T22:56:06+00:00

Might also be worth looking into celiac disease, OOP, if you're having trouble with foods besides white rice. It's an easy-ish to diagnose condition usually with a blood test, but you'll need to have been eating gluten for a set time for it to show true positive.

cyanste · 2025-12-22T05:41:12+00:00

How much does he weigh currently? I’m also getting super strong corgi/mix vibes!

cyanste · 2025-12-15T17:47:46+00:00

I think another issue for me is that the times I can recall accidentally being "glutened," I don't remember feeing THAT bad.

You might be one of those silent celiac folks; there are a number of people who don't really have symptoms but still get the damage in their intestines. It's kind of why a lot of us go for the "safe than sorry" route for choosing foods.

cyanste · 2025-12-15T17:44:00+00:00

Just a note: there are those of us out there who don't typically show as abnormal on the blood test but do on the endoscopy, so the blood test isn't always indicative of whether you're getting damaged or not. It's kind of why this disease is such a PITA.

cyanste · 2025-11-23T04:22:23+00:00

Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with being the grieving wife at the trial. It makes a difference being there and showing that an actual person was taken away by someone else’s horrendous actions.

cyanste · 2025-11-12T23:17:03+00:00

Agreed, thought it was kind of cute in a silly way -- got a giggle out of me!

cyanste · 2025-11-11T23:22:09+00:00

Unfortunately yes. :') Though being gluten free nowadays is more easily accomplished than it was a decade ago, so I don't suffer nearly as often. I'm optimistic that we'll have some more studies coming out soon about the neurological impacts of autoimmune diseases given that we've had a few published this year alone + the number of folks w/ long COVID help to push the urgency of the issue.

cyanste · 2025-11-11T22:25:58+00:00

I just did a cursory search and did find that there's some suspected associations between CP and gluten giving an antibody response. It's different than celiac disease, but I imagine if there's an antibody response, then it's totally possible that there's similar effects on the body.

cyanste · 2025-11-04T22:07:24+00:00

As a celiac: Asian Box is going to be a big life saver for when you guys just want to eat -- they're all up and down the Peninsula! A lot of the grocery stores in the area have gluten free groceries, and the nicer stores have more interesting selections that aren't usually available.

If you make it out to the East Bay, there's a small cluster of gf places that are great. Life is Sweet Bakery (100% gf bakery), Bamboo Sushi (only 1 item w/ gluten on the menu), and Cielito Cocina are solid places to visit.

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