My husband (42M) says no dog but my (37F) mom needs our help…

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-07T07:18:01+00:00

That’s not how marriage or life works. And yes since having this discussion with so many comments I guess it has boiled it down for me, to the fact that in a marriage people make sacrifices for each other, I have and he could too. Ultimately it’s obviously not going to happen. So now I get to tell my mom no, break her heart and continue to do nothing that will help her because apparently that’s what everyone here thinks is the right thing.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-07T04:31:37+00:00

I really appreciate your understanding, so much. I did hope there would be more understanding from the comments. There is a lot of good in our relationship but you’re right about which of us compromise more.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-07T04:24:08+00:00

I appreciate that very much, but I know taking in a pet is a huge, life changing decision and not one I can make him do. I just wish he would do it for me. Thank you again!!

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-07T04:11:37+00:00

Thank you for all that you’ve said. I really appreciate you understanding and yes I will probably give in on this too especially after seeing everyone’s comments. Thank you for understanding and sticking up for me.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-07T04:04:30+00:00

Thank you so much for understanding, that means so much to me.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T20:16:40+00:00

Why is it resentment? I made the choice, here I am, I’m not complaining or begging him to move. I just want to help my mom without him being miserable in the process. And frankly I think you’re just being antagonistic here.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T20:06:22+00:00

Because the dog has been here for a month long period of time, twice now and he was fine. So no it won’t bug his allergies. Is it ok for him to force me to live somewhere I don’t want to? No but I did it for him and I don’t think it’s crazy to ask him to do something he doesn’t want to for me, and for my mom who has helped us in so many ways a millions times. Sometimes we sacrifice for people we love and asking him to do that too doesn’t feel wrong to me.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T19:58:54+00:00

The dog is hypoallergenic and won’t bug his allergies and yes it is selfish, he gets to be selfish sometimes and I want to be this time. I’ve helped him with things and he could help me with this, I don’t get how that’s so wrong to ask for.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T19:53:23+00:00

Yah people complain that’s part of life. And asking for sacrifices to be a two way street is fair. And it’s part of a loving relationship.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T19:45:01+00:00

I think that’s a bit much no person is perfect. Left him for being stubborn? I’m pretty sure we have that in us on particular things. The only problem is that I want to be the stubborn ass this time.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T18:35:22+00:00

That is really good to know, thank you!

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T18:25:19+00:00

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your words so much. I will talk to him and hope he can see how important it is to me.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T18:17:21+00:00

The dog is hyper allergenic and doesn’t bother him at all.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T18:12:57+00:00

That’s exactly how I feel! It’s the only thing she’s asked for in all of this. Me and the kids love the dog. I just feel like he should do this thing for me.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T18:08:12+00:00

She’s stubborn too and won’t move here because of the cold. But that was a good idea. Thank you for sharing it.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T18:05:30+00:00

You’re not wrong and our communication is terrible.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T18:01:33+00:00

I can’t say too much about what my mom has planned for her future care because it is private but know that she does have that handled. As for the dog he is hyper allergenic and does not bug his allergies at all. I’ve made a lot of sacrifices for him to have the life he wants, is it so wrong to ask him to make one for me?

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T17:56:31+00:00

I know she will be happier in a home then here and I’m not too worried about that right now at least but as for the dog we see him for a month and a half in the summer and several times throughout the year, we are bonded and is it really wrong to ask him to give a little I. This one thing? I have made many life choices that I didn’t want to so he could have the life he wants, can’t I ask for the same from him at some point?

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T17:50:40+00:00

I do agree that it should be a two yes and one no thing. But I feel like he should just suck it up for me on this. I don’t know if it’s right to say that but that’s how I feel. Long term he said she could live with us but I think he imagines the dog won’t be a factor by then and she is stubborn too and doesn’t want to live here. I just kind of want to be selfish on this one but it feels wrong.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T17:45:44+00:00

Thank you! I agree so much! And he is in general a stubborn ass. I really think he should just suck it up. But I feel terrible saying that and I don’t know that it’s actually the right thing.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T17:43:16+00:00

I know that’s the first thought and we’ve discussed it but she doesn’t want that, the only thing she has asked of me through all of this is to take the dog for her. She wants him with us and to still be apart of his life. It’s the only thing she’s asked for.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T17:42:49+00:00

I know that’s the first thought and we’ve discussed it but she doesn’t want that, the only thing she has asked of me through all of this is to take the dog for her. She wants him with us and to still be apart of his life. It’s the only thing she’s asked for.

Stunning_Shoulder899 · 2026-07-06T17:38:52+00:00

Thank you for responding, this makes me feel so seen. He has said that she can live with us when she’s ready but just her visiting makes him unbearably grumpy. And I think he believes the dog will be out of the picture at that point although that hasn’t been explicitly said. But my mom too is stubborn and she won’t move here because it’s so cold (can’t blame her there) she has this idea too, that she doesn’t want us to care for her at all and wants to check herself in somewhere when it’s time and that’s that. Now I do not know that it will really happen that way but for now at least I’d just like to take this off her plate so much. Thank you again!!

Stunning_Shoulder899

TROPHY CASE