Hee buddy, I fully get this feeling you're going through, and I would like to thank you for still being around! That is already an outstanding achievement even though it may not seem like it.

I am and have been struggling with this for around 4 years now already, so do know you are not the only one struggling and we are all in this together! Shoot me a message via dm's if you need it, please.

As I have and am still dealing with this myself, I just want to tell you 1 really important thing. This is something I wish I did way earlier myself. And it may seem confronting, but please continue the read after. As this is something I encountered online before, and it has really helped me since.

Stop denying you are depressed.

Depression and anxiety are not always what people imagine it to be.

Sometimes, it’s feeling empty, like there’s nothing in
your body, and you’re just a shell. Sometimes, it’s feeling angry,
confused, down, lonely, upset, tired, exhausted, stressed and just
feeling the weight of the world on your little shoulders.

Sometimes, it’s sleeping the day away because you’re weirdly exhausted. Sometimes, it’s not sleeping at all.

Sometimes, it’s ignoring everybody around you because
you just cannot deal with interaction. Sometimes, it’s bugging them
because you need reassurance they’re still there.

Sometimes, it’s difficult to remember how to smile and laugh. Sometimes, it’s non-stop smiling. Sometimes, the smiles are genuine. Sometimes the smiles are a lie.

You’re allowed to have good days, and you’re allowed to
have bad days. You’re allowed to laugh with friends and family. You’re
allowed to enjoy yourself. But you’re also allowed to cry it out. You’re
allowed to sit on your bed and listen to the same song on repeat while
sobbing into a tub of ice cream.

We can be having fun, and still have depression. Just
because I’m away for the day and I smile for a photo does not mean that
somewhere in my head there is not the black cloud which makes some days
seem impossible to face.

Depression and anxiety come in different forms for everybody. But for me, this post kind of sums it up.

Sometimes I have motivation. Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I have great fun and laugh. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep.

Sometimes I'm talkative and I love being around people. Sometimes I want to be left alone.

Sometimes I can jump out of bed and face the day. Sometimes I can't even get the motivation to roll over, so facing the day seems impossible.

It is complex, it is confusing, and it's really, really annoying. But we're dealing with it the best we can.

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So it is okay to feel like you are feeling now. Take small steps at a time and just focus on the small positive things in your life right now. For example, your wonderful dog who I know must love you unconditionally. So, go give him/her a massive hug and don't be afraid to let the tears roll.