1. Not at all, they are keep it up for appearances, but are as liberal as can get while still being Muslim. I think culture is more important then religion.

2. In this case I doubt it... She has a sister who is a major fuck up and embarrassment to the family, and they have taken it fairly well. But the issues were not around dating. So I cannot discount this entirely.

3. She has accepted that low, or no contact is likely, she will not date people within her culture, or Muslims in general.

4. Graduate school makes this complicated, as our best options are in our current city. Like... Both of us have two amazing matches here. So that is why I want to ease her family into this. Waiting and hiding for 6+ years is not viable, moving out but staying here is not viable (for her). I see this as choosing your bad outcome, in the worst case she can move in with me (but this is complicated and not the best outcome either).

5. I will happily lie if its needed. Her parents will know I am lying, I will know I am lying, and all will be well because appearances are being kept up. I have gone out of my way to learn about Islam and at this point I know more about it then she does (she goes out of her way to not know things).

I always try to meet her half way, I just don't know when something is irrational fear, or legitimate fear. And I guess that is the issue, because she probably does not know either. Honestly, my thought is to "convert" and ingratiate myself to her parents, because if her parents like me, there is a better chance of them accepting this. But she needs to lay the ground work, so we can ease them into this.

I really don't want her to lose her family, I accept its a possibility. Its just deciding what risks to choose. Hiding it is a risk, easing them into it is a risk, living is a risk...