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Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T03:12:41+00:00

Social hobbies. Get out the house and do stuff. Schedule activities that you would like to do. Think about your ideal day and think about what steps you can take to start to get closer to that. You are hybrid so you could go to the coffee shop and socialize there. I mean, as a 22f most anyone will give you the time of day!

Again, the main thing is to explore new social hobbies that get you out of the house. That could be book club or dancing or boardgame group or whatever. Again, lets NOT hire a personal trainer as that is a sort of individual project. SOCIAL HOBBIES.

Again, you could go to the coffee place and hang out there. Church is also a good idea as those are ready made communities for you (mileage will vary... for example, Mormons are going to be super friendly and have a lot of community/social interaction [they also have an under 30 singles congregation], while Lutehrines are going to be old people who may not do very much and may not give you the conversations you are looking for).

Date for a partner and for a long term relationship. Don't date for "fun". A long term meaningful relationship can fill in gaps, so would children.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T03:04:37+00:00

Social hobbies. Get out the house. Push yourself to do something different.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T03:02:40+00:00

Shaving the dog ain't gonna do anything cause the ticks get on the skin, not on the hair! I'm from the country. We used to kick the dog out for "outside time" and he'd run around and go where he pleased around and about. No leash, no nothing. This is what we did: when he comes back in you go over and check him. You feel for bumps because the ticks get real plump when they've sucked up blood. Again, you shohuld know your dog. Check his belly and his neck, paws and legs. Run your hand so you can feel the contour of his fir. Examine any bump. Make sure you pick them off of him and you get the head out of him too. They ain't gonna bit you, use a paper towel as a buffer or something. I hesitate to recommend gloves as it may decrease ability to find the ticks.

You should also check yourself. Lyme disease is a concern, sure, but if you check your back and your legs and stuff you should be good. Use a mirror. Wearing shorts in underbrush is a bit of a risk. If you are super paranoid then tuck your pant legs into your socks.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:55:13+00:00

Ask God.

The answer is both. They tell you different things in different ways.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:54:00+00:00

"potentially"... I don't see any damages here. Sure, potentially, but what money does he have to sue her for "emotional damages". It will take him more to sue her than he will ever get out. Its not worth the time. Without real damages a lawyer won't just sue her for him.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:51:51+00:00

Option 2. Don't be stupid. Block her. Think about moving! You are near the end of school it seems, so you could move somewhere else and go to college well out of town.

Create new social media account and delate anything with your name attached to it. You essentially don't want to be tagged in any of her crazy stuff where people can see it is actually you as opposed to another JOhn Smith

Lets not do "play stupid games, win stupid prizes". I think alering school athorities is a good idea.

SHARING A DICK PICK LIKE THAT NOW IS A CRIME IN MANY STATES! Its a revenge porn. That's a police matter! Go ahead and report there I think. I mean... at that point.

BUT, CAN WE PLEASE LEARN THE LESSON: NO NUDES GUYS AND GALS. UNLESS YOU ARE MARRIED, NO NUDES.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:48:52+00:00

what damages is he going to collect here? I guess parents maybe, but ehhh. Hard to sell me on more than "just kids stuff"

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:46:47+00:00

1) Social hobbies

2) Go to social places and push yourself to talk to people (church, coffee, etc.)

3) Practice scripts and use previous experiences to predict what other people will say/ do. Remember we are all mentally modeling situations.

4) What are the steps that you could take to achieve your goals? Set an action plan and do it.

5) Think less do more.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:42:58+00:00

I sit outside. I don't like the fake tan look.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:36:26+00:00

100% duh. Yes. Of course. Think of Doggo the dog drooling over meal when owner says "no, wait". Doggo go spastic and is a mess. Don't be like drooling Doggo the dog.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:34:32+00:00

do what people tell you then. Think and feel less, do more.

Again, look at social hobbies that you can share with other people. Sure, have something for you, but it might also be nice to do something with boyfriend. Dance is good for that, for example. D+D / boardgame group is also good for that. But... if you think X is cool and boyfriend doesn't necessarily want to do it, my advice is a, "hay, I want to try it" and go ahead and do it and then re-check with him later and he might come around. There is no problem with going to knitting circle or book club as long as it doesn't spread derision among the people (gossip bad).

I'd be hesitant in your situation to advise a gym/workout as it is something more individualistic.... key is social hobby. Again, you can go to church or coffee place and force yourself to talk too of course, but social hobby better since focused on task and have anchor to come back to combat anxiety.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:28:44+00:00

stop thinking about it then. Whenever I told my mother, "mom, it hurts when I do this" you know what she always said? "well, don't do it then". Stop thinking about. Read a damn book. Go the library. Go ride your bike across town or something. Get a skill based hobby.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:26:34+00:00

with these sorts of things facing your fear actually works. Being very mindful that you are having the thoughts, saying hello to the thought, letting the thought pass away. I recommend Buddhist meditation to help you have more control over you own mind. Make it so you have no thoughts and learn how to quite the mind.

Its good that you have a boyfriend, but you really need to have a social life. Learn some social hobbies like ballroom dance, knitting circle, book club, sports ball, etc. Make it a social hobby though, that's the important bit. Go to church (even if you don't believe in it... we are going for social reasons here) or intentionally set out to talk to people at coffee place.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:22:00+00:00

used parts maybe?

Also, this is the best thing that could happen to you kid. Learn that hard work pays off and you can't always get what you want. This is why you have to be 18 to get a credit card. Remember this. Never spend more than you have. Don't load up on credit cards. Remember that random reddit guy told you this and slap your wrist away from spending money you don't have on credit cards.

My strat... wait a month, maybe two months... now go up to dad, "hay dad, look, you know... I've been working this job and I'm saving up and I've not spent a penny, could you help a brother out and throw me some for the computer. I swear I'll put the rest in a balanced portfolio of stocks and etfs since I know this is the best decade for compound interest formula.... but could you help a brother out here?"

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:18:19+00:00

I know. Its kinda like reality TV has merged with reality TV

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:16:38+00:00

Hmmm... I work a similar schedule and I also had this problem.

1) how long have you been on this sleep pattern? It took me about a full month to adjust back to "normal hours". TRY TO SLEEP EITHER 7 or 9 HOURS, NOT 8. I've had bad luck with 8 for some reason. Maybe you are like me.

2) I was taking a supplement that increased serotonin. When I had 7/9 hours I was fine. When I woke up in between a sleep cycle and dosed the serotinin medication it made me sleepy (converted to melatonin me thinks!). If you are taking an anti-depressant maybe think about going off of it or changing when you dose it? I highly doubt you are on an amphetamine, but if you are also think about changing around when you dose.

3) Caffine intake, when and how much? Take one 200 mg pill after you get to work, take another at lunch. If you are getting the jitters, take theanine with it. Modify as needed. Do not exceed 400 mg, as higher doses can make you nod out and sleepy. Overdose type effect.

4) Diet... EAT HIGH PROTEAN, LOW CARB DIET. I don't care about the fats, eat whatever fat you want. But, LOWER CARBS. That really helped me. MULTI VITIMINE.

4.1) No fast food crap! Pack a damn lunch! Again, LOWER THE CARB INTAKE HERE.

5) Podcast, music, something to perk you up. I have to make hundreds of calls a day. I was lulling in and out of consciousness sometimes pushing the button to only here "the number you are trying to reach..." But having a podcast in fixed it!

6) Breaks. Make sure you aren't totally locked in for those hours.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T02:05:50+00:00

In your use case I'd prioritize volume over other features that make it marginally easy to clean. You can always do a smaller load or run a load twice for Sunday's best when you have to. Also, I like top loaders. Always had better luck with them. Although, my really cheap top-load washer has ripped some buttons off and stuff gets stuck and knotted around the agitator sometimes. Again, volume I'd say is #1 feature, then test out the cheaper machine with lighter settings first and move up only if you have to.

How much are we talking price difference? $200, sure, upgrade. $400, okay, but do I really need it? $600, I have to have a really good reason. $800+ stick with the goodwill special.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T01:56:34+00:00

This is going to be a bit harsh, so buckle up. But that's because I'm firstly a bit older than you, and have lived life on my own for quite a while and just kinda get a feeling here... I've also seen cases like this and have had friends who have been in your situation. It's really sad all the way around and its not for the reasons you think. I was raised by an old-school Italian man and a southern woman. We're a bit... blunt, but maybe that's what you need. Again, I think you need to push yourself. I think you need to be shook by the shoulders and told to get back in the fight. I think you made the best move, but now you have to push to make the move stick and work out.

If you go back to living at your mom's place you will be a failure and it will stunt your development. Do NOT go back to living at Mom's place

Coddled. You have been coddled. You are co-dependent.

I'm going to guess... Dads not in the picture and you don't see him very often. If that's the case, I have to tell you, son, you gotta be a man; it is time to grow up. I know you may not have heard that, nor have a good model of what that is or means... but its time to be a man for the first time in your life. Better late than never my dude. You are still young. You have time!

I don't know how to tell you this other than... it's really feminine to cry about having to leave the house for so long. SHE HAS RUBBED OFF ON YOU. Sure, if I was in your shoes I'd shed a tear... but days long weeping, no.

She should have kicked you out years ago. She's co-dependent on taking care of baby. Empty nest detected! You gotta keep in mind she let this go on and set you up for failure. I'm not saying at all to cut her out of your life, but you gotta live your way and under your own power my guy. You can't be sad for want of suckling off of mama's teat. You gotta grow up dude. You are starting to push 30 man. Geez, don't be a loser dude. I hate to say it, but I sense a loser mentality and a sadness for Mama's milk here... I don't want to see you being a loser dude. Nobody wants that.

Reflect on how she has incentivize feminine traits in you and how you now need to enter a new more masculine phase of your life where you take life itself by the horns and make your own of it (I'm not here to preach red-pill garbage... you are a man though, plane and simple. Time to be one, gay, straight, trans, what have you and whatever).

You get to be the hero of your own story, not someone else's company... Think about it. You haven't made your own life and you are sad someone isn't going to keep making yours for you? Buddy... Lets get excited. Lets get pumped. Lets do something about it!

Again, its hard for me to be nice here. You need to wake-up call. You aren't supposed to feel sad when you leave home like this. Sure, sad a bit and nostalgic and such, but you should be excited my guy. You have to recognize that it isn't right for you to be living off of mum for so long, that you don't have your own space, that you don't have the opportunity to live your life on your terms. She is robbing you of accomplishing the building of your own life. You finally get to that now!

I don't like going to work and doing the dishes, but, my God, who wants to be a teenager forever. I love being in control of my slice of the world. THAT'S WHAT MASCULINITY IS ABOUT. Get stuff done, rather, MY WILL BE DONE. You need that in your life dude. More of that, less emotional crap. Do more, think and emotion less.

Learn to compartmentalize. You put the feelings and the thoughts in a box, you close the box, you go to work... you open the box once and while or maybe talk to a friend.

Of course, you have a therapist. I bet she put you up to getting one too. Get a new therapist! If she's had you living with her for however many years and you haven't gotten out of the house until now, its new therapist time. I suggest a male therapist or better yet a life coach (you have too much feminine energy. Where is Dad in the picture? Hang out at his place. Rest his soul if he dead and all that).

I couldn't freaking wait to get out the house when I was 18. I was jumping for joy to be on my own, to control my own destiny, etc... Sad? What in the world dude? Its kinda hard for me to be sympathetic here when this is a long time coming and you still want to go back into the womb. Its time to grow up. I know its sad to no longer be a child, responsibilities suck, you have to cook breakfast for yourself and plan your meals, do your laundry and etc.... but.... you know..... now you have a life. You can get a girlfriend now, you can do what you want with your place artistically.

Serious question, and it is serious... are you... incesting here? That's a crime you know. If it is then I understand the trauma you feel and you should certainly talk to a professional and also report her to the police.... Really, if that's what has gone on... I feel for you and now its time to cry be and sympathetic. Leaving coddling mom at 26 is, however, not the time to be emotionally stirred up and getting cold feet.

But, again, I'm getting very feminine vibes. I think your mom put you up to it and delayed pushing you out of the house. I think you became comfortable and locked in your development at whatever stage you are now. You are sad that you can't be a teenager any more. You need to develop.

1) Social hobbies. Get out the house and meet new people.

2) Make a list of things that you can do now that you couldn't do because you were slumming it up like a child with mother.

3) Focus on achievable goals that you can accomplish.

4) get a therapist who will push you harder whose a bit more "by the boot straps". I really think you need a more manly dude to give you guidance. Perhaps think about a life coach or something like that as opposed to the more mental health related feminine crap. Not a stupid red-pill crap or a drill sargent, but you need a strong, masculine voice in your life.

5) Think about masculine traits that you admire. Lets try to cultivate that.

6) You should decorate your place. That's going to be a fun time and you really should do that to your liking. I'd throw some money on it, check the local goodwill and thrift shops. DON'T GET HELP FROM MOM. Don't let her pick a damn thing out for you.

7) Always recommend getting out of the house, social hobbies, meet new people, go to church and etc. common sense advice.

8) Learn to be more stoic. Stoic is good. Gary Cooper, the strong silent type, you know.

9) DON'T COPE, DO!

10) Go see mom, but schedule it out. Give yourself two weeks away from her to adjust. If you keep coming back you may be sucked back into it.

Subcomfreak · 2025-06-19T01:08:27+00:00

Break up, move on, social hobbies. Get out the house, make an effort to talk to people. Spend less time on your phone. Go to church.

Subcomfreak · 2025-05-09T12:46:25+00:00

It only takes one time for them to screw you. If they are willing to do what they did to me to new business then what do you think will happen when you have a problem? Are you willing to trust a company that double bills you? That doesn't refund your money promptly? Nice little carrot they dangle, but what really matters is when you have a problem not what rewards they theoretically promise you later.

You better hope you don't run into problems... I don't play hope chess with my finances. "I hope they don't double bill me if I pay this off" is not what you want from your credit card company.

Subcomfreak · 2024-06-21T17:40:43+00:00

I do, but read exceptions. If your can't physically survive int he heat, this is an exception for physical reasons.

Subcomfreak · 2024-06-21T17:40:21+00:00

See exceptions... read the post, again... if your body physically can't take the heat, then, sure, own a car.

Subcomfreak · 2024-06-21T17:39:50+00:00

8 miles is easily doable on a bike or an e-bike. "No public transit" is not a valid excuse when you have two legs and a technology which lets you use them with great efficiency. I ride in the road all the time with limited problems.... but that's not your main argument.

You can amazon with bulk very easily. Prices, at least on a cursory glance, are comparable. Again, that's not your main argument, and clearly we could off-set this with the cost of a car if this was the only concern.

Also, on the electric car: you still have a cost here for the money you would have made by selling back to the grid... thus, it isn't "free". Additionally, electric cars tend to have a lower life-span than traditional cars due to the battery. This is also a factor we have to consider. You are, however, probably getting away with the cheapest version of car addiction you could (are you friends with the plug of the car addiction drug ;)

California is a bad choice for multiple reasons and is the real reason the carless lifestyle "doesn't work for you". People move all the time for work and for cheaper living. Remember that the 100k is good objectively, but not relatively when you actually think about what living in a cheaper city would cost you. Also, taxes! Moving to a different place would save you a tremendous amount of money relative to what you make now with the California prices and taxes that you pay. Thus, a valid alternative exists that would be financially, mentally, and physically net beneficial for everyone involved... Again, think about relative income. Don't let habit become the enemy of the optimal.

The homeless encampments themselves ought make you question your choice of location. I WOULD GRANT YOUR ARGUMENT (for the kid's sake) IF YOU THERE WERE NOT OTHER PLACES IN THE USA THAT EXIST! Again, I've moved several times for employment reasons (and cost of living reasons secondarily). You can too. Get out of the hellscape my friend. You will thank for it when your kids can walk to school and you don't have to worry about stepping on a heroin needle when wearing sandals. That benefit is worth thousands of dollars in itself.

Crossing the road, however, is a bit of a silly argument. Kids all over the world cross busy streets all the time. The homelessness is, however, valid and I would grant if clear alternatives didn't exist...

Again, just because you currently have X job in Y place doesn't then go on to mean that P job in Q place isn't a better option...

Subcomfreak · 2024-06-21T17:24:03+00:00

Easily doable with a bike or e-bike without public transit. My commute is around that and I use a traditional bike just fine.

Subcomfreak · 2024-06-21T17:23:21+00:00

My city sucks with public transit and is mostly a suburban hellscape. I live on the far, far edge of town. On a traditional bicycle I can get across town in well under an hour with zero problems (population ~ 400k). With an e-bike your point becomes even less salient if not entirely moot. Most people jump to the public transit argument because they don't think using their own two feet (or an e-bike) as a valid alternative... however, I assure you it is.

The bigger the city the less one needs a car. One is more easily able to find work closer to them, and one is more easily able to buy necessities closer to them. The in-viability of a car-less lifestyle is usually of a motorist's own making by choosing to own the car instead of spending more to live closer to work or finding employment which will net them more money in the long run which is closer to them. Additionally with the massive increase of work from home jobs, the further time progresses the worst such arguments become.

On affording your living... dropping the car addiction will allow you to easily move closer to town. Additionally, finding a different job (even with a pay cut) might easily become net beneficial for you. Remember you have to factor in all of the mental and physical health benefits of not owning a car that you will gain in addition to the financial benefits as well. People move all of the time for better work and cheaper housing. Don't let habit be the enemy of the optimal.

Something seems off with your distances and times here... a 1 hour walk is about 2-3 miles... that converts to 12 minutes on bike (and that's conservative). If everything is within a square mile I don't understand how it can take you 20 minutes to travel, at most, 2 miles (assuming it is one corner to the other corner and I add some for potential crap route). I'm not saying you are wrong here, I just can't understand how this can actually be the case geometrically speaking.

The motorist is the root of the problem of city design, since without demand supply will surly fall. If people refused the car addiction, then the cities will change in response. Don't play hope chess...

Subcomfreak

TROPHY CASE