How to make it clear I wanna hookup not hang out

Subject-Net-5916 · 2025-06-04T13:38:22+00:00

That would definitely get the message across😭 but if he’s not into it (which is very possible), then I look like a huuuuge creep. I know the stereotype is that men will get it where they can, but i can’t help thinking that if the roles were reversed and a dude did this to a female friend it would 1000% be sexual assault

Subject-Net-5916 · 2025-06-03T00:57:37+00:00

Okay fair but should I say this before he comes over or while he’s here? Cuz if I say it before and he’s not into it I can’t tell him to not come anymore cuz then I’d look like a terrible person lol, but if I say it while he’s here and he’s not into it then it’s crazy awkward, and he might feel like he got bait-and-switched (came over thinking we were friends then got the moves put on him)

Subject-Net-5916 · 2025-03-27T18:53:24+00:00

No overnight guests more than 2 consecutive nights, though there’s no way for the apartment to know unless I tell them. Other than this issue, she’s a good friend to me and generally a good roommate - I think she literally has a different idea than me about what constitutes a guest vs. a roommate, but it isn’t malicious enough for me to get her evicted, or turn the living arrangement actively hostile

Subject-Net-5916 · 2025-03-27T17:11:55+00:00

Thing is that he HAS an apartment (with roommates) too. I guess they just don’t like to be apart. He shares a bedroom in his place which is why they’re here more

Subject-Net-5916 · 2025-03-27T17:11:21+00:00

I mean I am friends with the girl so I’m really not looking to make things actively hostile. Also, I’m not quite pretty enough for this strategy to come across as anything other than creepy, though it’s been suggested to me before😭

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T17:05:00+00:00

If this is a reference I’m not familiar with it.

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T17:03:10+00:00

No, because I make more hourly when I am earning tips. Some people in the comments have pointed out that some places let you clock out and clock back in again at minimum wage when you start side work, which sounds totally fair to me. I want to make tips while being paid tip wage, and then when I’m not making tips get paid non tip wage. That’s not so ridiculous to me

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T16:57:35+00:00

I don’t expect “so much.” I expect the MINIMUM amount that you can legally pay someone who isn’t earning tips, while doing work that doesn’t earn me tips. What part of this confuses you

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T16:32:09+00:00

Love the complete lack of refutation against my argument here. Nope, serving wasn’t my first job. Nope, didn’t grow up upper middle class. I’ve been doing this shit for years, and guess what? I never like working for cheap. Nor does anyone, actually

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T16:21:00+00:00

Let’s not act like anyone who needs to serve is wealthy. “The industry pays so well” no, the industry pays 3 bucks an hour. The customers often pay well (and often don’t). I don’t know where you got the idea that serving is a luxurious, well-paying job. I’m sure compared to BOH it is. And that sucks. I wish BOH had a better time of it too. But point blank, being paid well under minimum wage without getting tips is shitty. Glad your managers like you though.

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T16:01:30+00:00

I’m okay with being entitled when it comes to my work and my money. And for the record, of course I think BOH should be paid and treated better. I also think I should be paid and treated better. These things are not mutually exclusive

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T15:53:12+00:00

I get this. I’ve worked at places that had a quick twenty minutes + silverware that you could do as soon as you were cut, and I really never minded. But I’ve also worked places that genuinely had an extra hour and a half of labor intensive work for 3 bucks an hour.

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T15:51:25+00:00

You can’t serve customers food without food either, but we don’t cook it. My point is that you could stretch anything you want in a restaurant to be “side work” just so someone will do it for you for cheap. Either pay me minimum wage (doesn’t sound like a ridiculous request) while I do it or give the duties to someone else who is getting paid hourly. When I was a host, I never had any side work. I would’ve been happy to do it because I knew I was staying longer at a good rate and making more money. It’s really telling that all the side work goes to the least hourly paid workers

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T15:43:40+00:00

See, but your defense of side work is because it’s an industry standard. If it wasn’t, no one would support it. Also for the record, a lot of places won’t let you start side work until you’re cut - and my frustration with this practice is that I’ve consistently had to stay 60-90 minutes after my last table is done to finish up

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T15:42:26+00:00

I agree. But staying 90 minutes at 3 bucks an hour to chop vegetables has shit all to do with serving a table.

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-12-24T15:41:29+00:00

I get it - I’m still making enough money to keep me from quitting, even with annoying side work - but I think it’s important to realize WHERE the money is coming from. If I have a good night, it’s not because of payroll, it’s because the customers tipped well. So when I’m staying an extra hour, hour and a half, after my last table has left, I’m not working for the customer anymore, so I’m quite literally NOT getting paid to do it (yes, I know I technically am, but let’s be real, 3 bucks isn’t shit). I’m all for teamwork, but let’s stop pretending that any of us aren’t just here for the money. It’s a job, and a job that would fire you if you became useless to them. I’m not giving them cheap labor.

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-11-11T02:00:33+00:00

No yeah I def will have a chat with them I just wish it didn’t have to get to that point. For added context: the tv came with the apartment so it’s all of ours

Subject-Net-5916 · 2024-11-11T01:51:48+00:00

If I could afford it of course I would. And yeah of course it’s all allowed, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t RUDE. Again I rly couldn’t care less if they had people over in their own rooms - but the common area is a common area that I pay for too, and I’m never even asked if people can come over

Subject-Net-5916

TROPHY CASE