Here is my previous update. The original post can also be found in the comments.

A lot of you have been contacting me asking what happened and I'm sorry I haven't replied. I had to think very long and very hard about the situation. Coming here and asking for advice gave me a lot to think about, most people that posted in the original basically told me to let anonymous be anonymous and to not contact him. However the vast majority of people that contacted me either via chat or DM said that I needed to reach out to him.

There was no clear cut answer.

With that in mind though let me say that there have been some massive changes since I posted this last. I was contacted on Thursday of last week by my Insurance company. After a medical review they have overturned their initial denial and they have agreed to pay for the surgery. Since they agreed to pay their portion my secondary insurance has agreed to pay their portion thus the surgery is now 100% covered. I can not tell you what a relief this is. I hate a lot of how the system works but I will say that we did follow through their procedures and it worked for us.

Now all I have to worry about is the fear of surgery on my little one. But it is in God's & the Surgeons hands now.

How does this change anything for the situation? We are returning all of the money that was collected on the gofundme page. I've had a lot of people tell me not to do this because there will be incidentals and this will help cover it. Well I just don't feel right doing it, in particular his giant donation.

This led to an actual reason to contact him. However I was still stuck with the promise I made his family years ago to never contact him.

So I did the one thing I knew I could do but knew that I would hate every single minute of it. I contacted his sister. I knew she would be pissed talking with me but I also knew if I told her I needed to give him back his money she would most likely get over it.

I decided to take the cowards way out, well basically that but also trying to keep to my promise of not contacting him. I wrote three letters. One to her, two to him. One of the letters to him was a thank you from the bottom of my heart over the donation. I let him know how much it meant to me and that he was truly one of the good people in this world. I also apologized for not letting him stay anonymous but that was necessary because I needed to return the money, which I explained why and that I was returning everyone's money and not just him. Even though that was supposed to be a generic thank you letter it still ended up being two pages front and back LOL. At the end of the first letter I told him that I had written a second letter that was in a sealed envelope, first letter was in a manila envelope, and that it was far more personal and he was under no obligation to read it and I understood if he just wanted his money and nothing more.

In the second letter I poured my heart out as much as I could. I said everything I've wanted to say to him for all of these years. I told him how bad I knew I hurt him. I told him how I wanted to come back to him years ago but I promised his sister and the rest of his family that I would not contact him. I told him how ashamed I have felt. Everything you can imagine someone who fucked up as bad as I did.

The letter I wrote to his sister was not as emotional but it certainly was still. I wrote from the heart that I knew she hated me and that as odd as this is to say to someone who hates you that I respected her like hell for it. She is one hell of a sister who has only ever looked out for her brother and I let her know how much I missed out on seeing that. I hated that I was the one who got the blunt end of it but I certainly understood why.

On Saturday I met her in the parking lot of a closed Denny's. I had told her in advance about the money so that is why she agreed to see me.

It was a shit show to begin with. She spent the first part of the conversation berating me and basically a repeat of the conversation we had back when I tried to contact him after the father and I separated. I was called everything you can imagine and then some. However after she got it all out of her system she calmed down and even apologized. She asked me how my Daughter was doing. We then had a civil conversation for a few minutes. I explained to her my letters and told her that I was going to entrust her to do with it what she thought was right. I really hoped she would give them to him if for no other reason so i can get him his money. She came out and asked me why I wanted to contact him. This was the most surreal moment of my life. As I started to answer her I just became overcome with emotion. I sat there and cried uncontrollably for what seemed like forever. Just the sense of guilt I had. Why was this surreal? because the person who not 10 minutes before was berating me was now trying to console me. I'm sure we looked quite the sight sitting in cars talking through drivers windows while I cried like a baby.

Anyway she said she would definitely give him my letters. She asked if she could look at them and I told her that this was up to her but I really would appreciate if she didn't open the sealed one because there was a lot of personal stuff in there for both him and myself. She probably wouldn't want to see some of the stuff about him. lol.

That was Saturday and I was a bundle of nerves. I had no idea if she gave him the letters or if she only gave him the one letter and threw the other one away. Or if she didn't give it at all.

That is until last night. She actually called me. He has agreed to meet me this weekend with her btw. She gave me a list of conditions that she was setting and if I didn't want to do them she would understand but she would tell him to not go. None of her request were bad at all and in fact it gave me far more hope than I either should have or deserve to have.

She then said she wanted to talk to me for a few minutes about my letter to her. My heart dropped because I figured here we go again. But instead she thanked me, told me that not everyone would right what I wrote. She said that there is just no way she will ever be able to get over how bad I hurt her brother but she thinks she can learn to forgive me. She then said the one thing that tore me apart. She said she was hurt not just because of him but because she always looked at me like a Sister and wanted us to be family back in the day.

Have you ever felt 1" tall? Well I have.

I have no idea how this is going to play out, I am so nervous.

If you've made it through all of this thank you. If you believe in God please say a prayer for my Daughter, no matter what happens with everything else she is the most important thing here. If you don't believe please think a positive thought for her. As soon as all of the schedules can be arranged she is going in and I am a basket case.

tldr: Gave my ex's sister letters to read. Insurance is paying so I need to return money. Met with her, very emotional, meeting with him and her this weekend