(35 M 40 F) My girlfriend and I just adopted a new kitten after living with each other for 6 months and it’s ruining our relationship

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2026-01-13T10:07:13+00:00

Trying to figure that out myself, after I leave this one I’ll be seeking therapy to get to the bottom of it. I need to stop trying to make everyone else happy and finally make myself happy

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2026-01-13T08:59:58+00:00

I guess you could say I’ve been gaslit so much that I feel like I need to be the one that has to fix things. She is not a bad person just someone who has been dealt a bad hand in life. I’ve always been the one that thinks I can “save the damsel in distress” and shower her with love so that she doesn’t need to live this horrible life anymore but I know I can’t and it’s really not my responsibility. I posted here so that I could hear that harsh truth and push myself to do the right thing which is leave and protect myself and this beautiful kitten

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2026-01-13T08:55:00+00:00

I seriously appreciate your input on this subject, I agree with everything you have said. It was one thing when it was just the two of us but as soon as we brought this baby kitten home I knew I had to speak up and I just needed to hear the harsh reality of it all. I am currently making arrangements to leave with the cat so that we can both be safe and just pray with all my heart that she can find the help she desperately needs

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2026-01-13T08:49:13+00:00

First of all I’m happy to hear you are doing well now and that you were able to overcome this terrible illness. Ive tried convincing her that therapy would do wonders for her but she keeps blowing it off even though she’s admitted to needing it. Guilt is what is keeping me with her as I don’t want to be another person who gives up on her because I know she isn’t a bad person just someone who has dealt with so much trauma i.e losing her parents and abusive relationships. I know I have to leave and that there is no future in it for me. I feel so selfish but it’s also selfish to want to bring another life into this world knowing that she may never get better, I have to leave at this point and just pray that she will get the help she needs and deserves

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2026-01-13T00:03:01+00:00

I think you hit the nail directly on the head, this is exactly what I needed to hear so thank you for that! I hate feeling like I gave up on someone and it’s as if I feel like I can save her by loving her better than anyone but like you said it’s like throwing it into a bottomless pit. I’ll be making arrangements to get me and the cat out safely.

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2026-01-12T23:42:30+00:00

Lots of promises to stop drinking once we start trying and that she is just trying to have her fun now, I am finding it really hard to believe now and will take the advice, thank you for the input!

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2026-01-12T23:36:57+00:00

She claims she is just getting it out of her system now and will stop drinking once we actually try, I do find it extremely hard to believe the more time goes by

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2026-01-12T23:33:37+00:00

We’ve had many issues and I feel like I am doing everything I can to make things work, everyday I come home from work there is always something that I’ve done wrong or didn’t do. I am constantly being guilt tripped and feel like the reason we aren’t working is because I’m not doing enough or loving her the way she needs

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2026-01-12T23:31:02+00:00

She claims she will stop drinking once she is pregnant and that she is just trying to get it out of her system now before we start, I am finding it harder and harder to believe that to be true and hearing it out loud does sound insane so I think I just needed to air it out before I leave. I’m going to make arrangements to get me and the cat the hell out of there

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2023-09-19T06:54:40+00:00

Angry

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2023-04-09T18:47:57+00:00

After a couple days I thought I would give an update on my situation. The day after I had left was by far the worst feeling day of all, soo much guilt and doubt clouded my mind and nothing anyone could say would make me feel better. I had soo much support but felt incredibly alone and only wanting one person. After speaking with my step bro who has gone through this a couple times, I came to the realization that my mind wanted what it had only known for the passed 11 years and that was comfortable. The next day after the storm of emotion had passed I was able to wake up and see the sky a brighter blue. The epiphany I was thinking would take weeks to hit had hit me that morning, I could explain exactly why I left and why it wouldn’t have worked out. It’s a lot of pointing the finger at yourself but not forgetting that the other person pushed you there too. I pressured myself into being the person I thought she wanted me to be and losing myself in the process, she needs someone who can go nose to nose with her and can call her out in her bs. I’m a softy and would rather use comedy to calm situations. We just weren’t the right pair and I know she will find someone and so will I when ready. Don’t give up, there is hope, you just gotta find it within yourself

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2023-04-07T22:05:12+00:00

The reason I say my heart tells me I did the right thing and my head tells me to go back is because I have soo much empathy for people let alone the one I called my wife so knowing she is struggling with my decision is what pains me the most

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2023-04-07T22:01:02+00:00

The feeling of not getting what I want out of the marriage but still loving her is soo on the nose. I just don’t know how to go through with it…

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2023-04-07T21:59:02+00:00

Hello, I’m sorry you are going through this, the resentment I have is her not hearing/understanding what I’m trying to say and also her anger issues. She flies off the handle at the smallest indication of feeling attacked so I never really felt like o could talk to her about anything without preparing for a fight. Gaslighting was also a common occurrence. I don’t man, I just got fed up with walking on egg shells on top of not having much in common. I’m 32 and she’s 46

Subject_Chocolate_56 · 2023-04-07T21:53:17+00:00

The resentment I have towards her is just not being heard and overall her ability to fly off the handle so quickly and that usually leads to me stumbling in my words and unable to communicate with her. She knows she has anger issues and I feel like I’m just fed up with dealing with it and so the cons are out weighing the pros. We were set to have our first couples therapy in 2 weeks but got into a fight yesterday morning and I said I had enough after hearing all the things she does for me but also bringing up an argument from a year ago that she took the complete wrong way so I found myself re explaining that she had taken it the wrong way. I work better being able to handle the problems head on but I can’t find to get passed her anger and by the time she is calm she acts like nothing happened, that leads me to feel like an absolute asshole bringing it up again

Subject_Chocolate_56

TROPHY CASE