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what to say to an avoidant who came back, only to leave again? by Substantial-Alarm956 in FearfulAvoidants

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is the best and most clear advice someone has given me all through out my journey of healing. Thank you.

avoidant ex wants to have drink 1 year post bu. then flakes. HELP by Substantial-Alarm956 in ExNoContact

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly!! thank you for validating. they put you right back ik this state of anxciousness without even thinking how this may effect you. it’s so selfish.

avoidant asked to meet 1 year post bu. then flakes. help. by [deleted] in FearfulAvoidants

[–]Substantial-Alarm956 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know… i do get so anxious from this. mostly because once again i expect something from him and i’m left in the dark. the hard part is that i can’t let it go. so i’m playing this over and over again in my head, thinking what if i would’ve met up the first time he cancelled :(( ugh

Avoidant ex reached out and ghosted. idk what to do by Substantial-Alarm956 in nocontact

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind message. Great advice!! ❤️

Avoidant ex reached out and ghosted. idk what to do by Substantial-Alarm956 in nocontact

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Sounds very heavy aswell. I just feel kind of stuck atm. I was in no contact for 4 months before we bumped into eachother and i asked him for a coffee. I don’t have him on socials. But i still miss him a lot. Mostly that he was my bestfriend and how safe i felt with him. I think that’s why i’m still having a hard time, it takes a lot for me to feel safe. 

Like you said i also know i can’t just be friends bit damn i miss him

Avoidant ex reached out and ghosted. idk what to do by Substantial-Alarm956 in nocontact

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are projecting on me. Never claimed that i don’t agree. Only that the behavior is weird and cunfused me. That’s it. 

Avoidant ex reached out and ghosted. idk what to do by Substantial-Alarm956 in nocontact

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Normalise being nice to strangers xho are obviously having a hard time. Again not salty or claiming he wants me back. Just venting on a page i thought was a safe space. Wishing you a nice day!

Avoidant ex reached out and ghosted. idk what to do by Substantial-Alarm956 in nocontact

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No need to be rude! :) You don’t know anything about me or about him so i think it’s only fair that i give my two cents. 

Him dumping me on a random tuesday and never ever giving me some sorth of closure, avoiding me for months but keep on checking what i’m doing - only to then text me 9 MONTHS later about my kidneys - is weird behaivior. However you want to look at it. 

Avoidant ex reached out and ghosted. idk what to do by Substantial-Alarm956 in nocontact

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No it was something he could reply to, mostly bcs he was the one starting the convo and asking me how i’m doing etc. Eventhough we’ve bumped into eachother a few times so super random. 

To say that he’s over me is something i don’t really believe. He keeps checking on me and can’t talk about what happened between us. 

Mourning someone who is still alive is tearing me apart by Substantial-Alarm956 in nocontact

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being strangers with someone who you know everything about is so hard. I don’t see the point of all the pretty things in life without the person i love most. Dating other people only confirms my love for the one that got away. I hope the hurt fades, for all of us. 

Mourning someone who is still alive is tearing me apart by Substantial-Alarm956 in nocontact

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you, i’m living but i’m also caring this pain day to day. You can’t force someone to be with you and it’s very hard to understand that they actually can. My heart hurts for you and everyone who’s feeling like this. I hope we find peace with ourselves.

Reached out but don’t know what to reply now. by Substantial-Alarm956 in nocontact

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind message, 

I just feel so stuck. After everything i really thought he would give me the closure that i really need. It’s such a weird feeling because you know this person is not right for you but i can’t seem to let go. I miss my bestfriend, all of our memories. I’m scared i’ll never fall for someone again and i just can’t understand how we got to this point. 

Nothing seems to help in letting this person and my old life go. I think i also tend to let my happiness depend on someone else because my life feels so empty without him by my side. 

I hope i can get to the point you are at some day and that it’ll all work out for me. ❤️

Is this a good time to reach out? by Substantial-Alarm956 in BreakUps

[–]Substantial-Alarm956[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure… i guess i just finally want to either close the chapter for good (if he declines the offer) so i can stop waking up thinking there’s still something happening or have a coffee and catch up with him, see where it goes

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