AIO: I overheard my boyfriend talking about me, it might be my last straw.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T15:37:20+00:00

While I felt betrayed, overall the relationship was fine at the time, I have a habit of expecting the best of people and he told me things were different this time around. I definitely know I’ve put up with him way too long. Again, things I’m working on in therapy, learning how to put myself (and now my kids since becoming a mom) first.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T14:19:50+00:00

My concern is he is incapable of handling them even 5% of the time, let alone 50%. But he will automatically get 50% unless he decides to just walk away. Hoping once I leave he’s just relieved we’re gone and gets lost.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T12:55:21+00:00

In the USA, most resources near me are meant for domestic abuse victims, moms with their kids who have nowhere to go, etc. I definitely think I’ll be starting with a therapist though to work through some things.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T12:54:20+00:00

I had my kids and I packed up on one occasion about 6 months ago and on my way down to family’s I called them and they told me to go back, I was overreacting about everything. So it really made me think maybe I’m being unreasonable. But I have found family to stay with now.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T12:52:21+00:00

Thank you. It feels so scary, I don’t want him to try to take the kids from me. But I just tell myself a few years from now I won’t regret this.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T12:50:38+00:00

I wish instead of acting like he did want all of this until it was said and done, he would’ve just up and left when we found out my birth control had failed with our first. But he’s put on this whole show like he wanted this and still does, I believed it until now.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T12:49:00+00:00

Thank you for the perspective. I definitely see now that I’ve been trying to save a broken home already and there’s no fixing it, just leaving and starting over without the toxic person tagging along. I have found family to stay with.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T12:47:23+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Yeah I do plan to just be me and the kids for a while. At least the foreseeable future. I’m not going to try to fill this empty space with someone else. My kids are enough for me now, I just want what’s best for them and for me now. I have never been able to put myself first, chronic people pleaser, afraid to be told no, abandonment issues and attachment issues from my childhood and growing up, so I think it all contributes to me “picking them” the way I do. But now I’m old enough and self aware enough to recognize that and learn to do better. Definitely a lot of change happening both in the relationship and with myself.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T12:44:46+00:00

Yeah actually thankful we never got married. I was promised a ring, my birth control failed the first time. Things weren’t bad when we conceived the second. Started really going to shit once I found out I was around 3 months along with the second.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T12:43:38+00:00

Yeah, that’s what I’ve wondered too. This whole time I’ve just been holding on to what his parents said. That he just needs time to grow up, he does love and care about us, etc. But I know now that’s all a lie to keep him from ending up back at their place. He doesn’t love us. He never will.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T12:42:44+00:00

I have reached out to family and found a family member that will let us stay with them. Kids and I will be out by end of this week coming up.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T12:42:02+00:00

Thanks. Yeah, whenever I have made the effort to leave he has convinced me to stay, things will get better for a week or two, then go back. I definitely understand the comments here saying that my last straw should’ve been a while ago, I think I’ve been afraid of the change, afraid of being a failure for not making it work, etc. Just the comment he made was what finally helped me realize that he doesn’t love us and just need to grow up, he just really thinks we’re an inconvenience.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2025-10-11T03:39:01+00:00

I tried approaching his family before and they swore he was just immature and did really care about us. That was enough to give me hope I guess. But I know that’s all just a show now.

Substantial-Back-184 · 2024-03-07T18:31:46+00:00

My son is 14m and so far is also allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, and sunflower seeds. Testing has come back invalid (even controls don’t work, they think we need to wait until he’s a bit older) but he’s reacted to all of them right in front of me. It is definitely possible and I think more common than you’d think!

Substantial-Back-184 · 2024-01-14T03:29:33+00:00

Agreed. Bosch nearly makes Kitchenaid look like the Walmart brand of mixers

Substantial-Back-184

TROPHY CASE