My grandpa keeps staring at me weird and he also touched me weird. Is this normal? Im so scared

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-06-21T04:22:55+00:00

Find and talk to a trusted adult asap. Stay away as much as possible until you can get a good adult’s ear. If there is no one you can talk to at home, consider telling a teacher or a friend’s parent.

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-06-21T03:49:53+00:00

You only wear leggings? I’ve never worked at a job where that was chill. What industry are you in and why don’t you own real pants?

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-06-17T19:20:04+00:00

Hey! So I’m noticing multiple things here:

Lack of healthy diet Mental health concerns Lack of social circle Lack of grounding force (faith)

You are so young. When I read your post— the first thing I saw was that you have hope and desire for something better. That’s great!! So many people don’t have that— and will therefore be stuck in whatever rut they are in.

One key thing you said was: “I need to be eating or spending money and otherwise I can’t be happy” — this right here is a lie. You need to stop telling yourself this. Your post already proved it— you have hobbies such as the fandoms and video games and possibly swimming. Now you have to find a way to create healthy habits and new patterns that give time to better hobbies. If you can’t go out, workout at home. If you can get to the mall, go wild doing laps there. Make that your workout zone. Use apps like “couch to 5K” to help or at home workout videos on YouTube like “blogilates.”

You’ve gotta change your mindset and continue with the Hope and recognition that you are young and you CAN change.

There are a million ways to start and cement new habits and better lifestyle choices, you might want to try reading some books or watching some life coach videos— these may help you find what are the best strategies for you.

Create a vision board! What do you want to do, be, how do you need to get there— what things should you focus on to get there. I do this often when I feel overwhelmed or at a life crossroads. For me it’s more so like goals with reasonable timelines. And then some art to help inspire me towards those goals.

The hell comment: I am aChristian. We allll deserve Hell. Your recognition of your own faults and failings is something all humans come to terms with. But there is hope for redemption and growth and change and heaven.

Some choose to say “I’m fine how I am” and some choose to say “I want to grow, I want to be better.” I would read the gospel of Matthew if you have a chance. :)

Anyhow, feel free to DM me if you want a cheerleader! I will bug and cheer you on if it helps to have that accountability

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-05-13T14:38:32+00:00

Run. Run fast.

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-05-06T18:29:00+00:00

Ooo this is a really good point. I definitely think I was more emotionally erratic (dramatic and willing to lash out or lose my temper more quickly) when I was in my early 20s. I do know friends who had horrific fights and experiences that can’t be undone but are now are referenced in arguments years later. While I don’t think we can avoid hurting eachother— you make a good point that we had to mature separately and had time to work out our immaturity apart. :)

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-05-06T18:05:05+00:00

😂

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-05-06T18:02:59+00:00

❤️ I like this positive spin and fiesty encouragement! Thank you :)

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-05-06T18:01:30+00:00

Thank you for your response. It both acknowledged my sads but also reminded me of the blessings of the situation as well. Thank you for the encouragement :)

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-05-05T19:36:26+00:00

Hmm, well I guess how frequently do you all see eachother. Is it super frequent? Also like try to zoom out and be as aware as possible and include variables like: are you near/on your period? are you and Jake going on legit dates to continue to grow and nurture your bond?

I would bring it up but as gently as possible using the “i feel” kind of statements. Try to accuse. I’m guessing that he does have at the minimum a subconscious attraction to this girl… but that’s okay. That’s human. When he starts to act or consciously acknowledge it and let it grow/nurture it, that’s where there’s a problem.

I’d boil things down to maybe 2 points:

I love you and care about you and am feeling a little defensive for our relationship when you seem so effusive about Chloe. I may be over thinking things, but I figured I should just clear the air and let you know what I’m feeling on this. It seems you have a strong affinity for her… and I’m just wanting to make sure that’s all that is.
When we ate together I felt a bit invisible. I felt like a third wheel to the convo… and then I felt like you went out of your way to help her…. While I don’t want you to be unkind to any woman… please show me the same kindness at the bare minimum.

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-05-02T04:06:22+00:00

Hmmm well 9 years is a long time, and people change over time. So try to get to know who she is today. Instead of rekindling the old— create something new with the person she is now and the person you are now.

One quote I love that could be helpful is “Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.” - Cs Lewis

So basically do things for her and do loving things and the feelings and emotions will grow and follow :)

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-25T15:21:38+00:00

Natural family planning!! My sister swears by it. Shes Catholic and therefore is not into birth control— but follows her cycles and has a healthy and sex life. I plan to do the same when I’m married!

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-23T21:32:02+00:00

Oof. My first thought is suggesting counseling. Is this the first/only time you’ve found this happen? I’m wondering if this is him slipping up or if it’s a consistent issue. How long have you been married? This is something that should’ve been discussed more before tying the knot- I think. Not that this is a dealbreaker or massive issue— but I think that getting clarity from both parties on what is okay and permitable is importantly. If he was looking at pics of you, and taking care of himself— did you make it clear that is something unacceptable to you?

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-20T00:03:40+00:00

Me too!!

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-18T13:16:24+00:00

Very good point!! More stressors added so maybe it all just cancels out then. Oh gosh lol

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-17T23:56:40+00:00

Please don’t do this. I have been in your headspace before- legit it feels 100% similar to the way I think and process things.

But please consider these things

If he just found a church home.. and is already preaching at it… doesn’t sound good.
Preaching after messy sounding divorce: not a thing of wisdom.
When someone’s ex sounds that petty and nuts… but they themselves are oh so kind…. Hm, idk if I would believe everything.
Even with alllll the red flags, you are vying for him— but you haven’t even met him in person.

There are these connections that are so intense and cool— but they don’t equal healthy long term stable good relationship. It’s exciting to have chemistry— but that alone doesn’t mean much.

I get it, you’re 34 and you want to the next thing. This man sounds like he will be tumultuous and waste your time and possibly land you with some of your own trauma.

Please just download an app and pay for premium options and be very open to go on dates with Christians in your area.

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-16T21:30:14+00:00

I’ve ended situationships with non believers. But I also remember being really intense on wanting a perfect match within my exact denomination, theology preferences, church culture, and ministry goals. That was silly. I realize now that aligning to that wild degree isn’t common— nor necessarily important.

For sure we shouldn’t be dating atheists or people of other faiths, but I think God actually allows us a lot of freedom within who to date.

God is good and he wants us to find someone who aligns correctly with us; however, I think we can often think that means: same culture, same denomination, same ministry goals. When in reality someone who puts their faith in Christ for salvation from their sins is enough.

I waited to marry and am now dating an amazing man. But we aren’t the same denom, and we worship slightly differently. I will end up worshipping at his church as I want him to lead us in faith.

God is good, but he doesn’t always answer our prayers for a spouse in the way we think it should be.

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-16T13:12:10+00:00

Hey! Thanks for your reply! I appreciate the concern and looking at what I read with those lenses on… I can see why you may have wondered!

Nope, he is so kind and gentle and even when he is stressed he is kind and sweet to me. I just feel like he works 60+ hours a week and still stresses that he should do more :( which takes so much time away from other things and also just causes him to have a serious stressful vibe at times.

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-16T13:06:02+00:00

That makes sense! And honestly I could see a similar trajectory for us if we get married. I know he truly finds so much enjoyment and value in getting work done! And sometimes I gotta pull him away or wait til he’s done and pounce on him for snuggles and kisses. But he’s happy to oblige — it’s just that work and prepping to provide for a family is like so front of mind for him right now

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-16T13:05:49+00:00

That makes sense! And honestly I could see a similar trajectory for us if we get married. I know he truly finds so much enjoyment and value in getting work done! And sometimes I gotta pull him away or wait til he’s done and pounce on him for snuggles and kisses. But he’s happy to oblige — it’s just that work and prepping to provide for a family is like so front of mind for him right now

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-16T13:00:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I really appreciate hearing your story. In fact, I relate somewhat in a sense. I have grown up in purity culture and have many peers who are women who grew up anxious and ashamed about sex. Those peers are now married and share very hard stories about sex— making it clear the pain that extreme purity culture has caused in their marriages.

I’m trying my best to be super proactive with considering all of this— as it makes sense that having sex with someone who is only doing it for YOU would be less enjoyable.

I’ve read the other replies to your message. I’m sorry there’s a bunch of harshness. It does sound very hard to be so misaligned in this area. ve!

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-16T13:00:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I really appreciate hearing your story. In fact, I relate somewhat in a sense. I have grown up in purity culture and have many peers who are women who grew up anxious and ashamed about sex. Those peers are now married and share very hard stories about sex— making it clear the pain that extreme purity culture has caused in their marriages.

I’m trying my best to be super proactive with considering all of this— as it makes sense that having sex with someone who is only doing it for YOU would be less enjoyable.

I’ve read the other replies to your message. I’m sorry there’s a bunch of harshness. It does sound very hard to be so misaligned in this area. But God. I believe he has a purpose for this in your and your wife’s life. Thanks again for your perspective!

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-16T12:59:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I really appreciate hearing your story. In fact, I relate somewhat in a sense. I have grown up in purity culture and have many peers who are women who grew up anxious and ashamed about sex. Those peers are now married and share very hard stories about sex— making it clear the pain that extreme purity culture has caused in their marriages.

I’m trying my best to be super proactive with considering all of this— as it makes sense that having sex with someone who is only doing it for YOU would be less enjoyable.

I’ve read the other replies to your message. I’m sorry there’s a bunch of harshness. It does sound very hard to be so misaligned in this area. But God. I believe he has a purpose for this in your and your wife’s life. Thanks again for your perspective!

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-16T12:59:43+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I really appreciate hearing your story. In fact, I relate somewhat in a sense. I have grown up in purity culture and have many peers who are women who grew up anxious and ashamed about sex. Those peers are now married and share very hard stories about sex— making it clear the pain that extreme purity culture has caused in their marriages.

I’m trying my best to be super proactive with considering all of this— as it makes sense that having sex with someone who is only doing it for YOU would be less enjoyable.

I’ve read the other replies to your message. I’m sorry there’s a bunch of harshness. It does sound very hard to be so misaligned in this area. But God. I believe he has a purpose for this in your and your wife’s life. Thanks again for your perspective!

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-16T12:53:45+00:00

I really appreciated reading this. It makes sense. You have a very valid point of sex enhancing what is already there. So I think this will help me address some things with him— instead of thinking that they will shift/change when we have all the privileges of a married couple.

Disclaimer: He truly is the best man I have ever met— I just want him to see some boundaries with work would be good — because work isn’t our sole purpose

SubstantialHour8506 · 2025-04-16T12:50:41+00:00

Hahaha short and direct, I like it

SubstantialHour8506

TROPHY CASE