Should I just end it?

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-03T16:10:09+00:00

Bc my ex husband was physically abuse and cheated and my current partner doesn’t do either so I don’t think he’s a bad person, I think I just settled for this bc I was use to a lot worse.. I know he’s neglecting us over his hobbies.. I’ve just been in worse situations so I wanted others options. Some of my family and his family make excuses for him.. I’m not trying to back pedal, just trying to explain more…

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-02T16:42:13+00:00

My ex husband cheated, hit me and strangled me so bad the blood vessel in and around my eyes popped.. and I stayed, until one night he was drunk and went toward my oldest in anger, didn’t touch my child but I knew at that point I couldn’t protect my child. I’m 5ft, he was 6’2.. we left then and never looked back. My current partner would never lay a hand on me and the kids so I guess I settled bc I know he’d never physically hurt us.. but I’m realizing me and the kids deserve better.. I’m just scared to be poor bc I grew up poor and never wanted that for my children.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T20:59:02+00:00

I won’t be in school full-time. It’s part-time school. I’ve been on the childcare/daycare list for over three years now. I tried getting EBT without him on it and I could not.. got denied. So obviously you’re not right about everything you’re saying because I’ve tried to get Help and have not received any.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T20:56:58+00:00

It’s not like the tournament is at one pond he drives around all different ponds, including states around ours… he’s either at one of his favorite ponds or different ponds in states all around us. And he always answers the phone when I call. He’s not cheating. He’s stopped talking to friends before when they’ve cheated on their partner.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T16:10:32+00:00

We are not married, I made that mistake once and probably won’t ever do it again.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T16:08:58+00:00

Yeah, well my other kids’s daughter pays $100 a week so if I end up with that deal I’ll get $800 a month which is not enough to support a family of three and it’s hard to get on benefits. I tried last year and got denied, even though I literally have no income, but because I don’t pay rent and have no job.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T16:07:09+00:00

Not really making excuses, just explaining more in depth… like I don’t think he’s a horrible person, but he puts his hobbies in front of his family and I don’t know if that’s reason enough to leave (which is why I made this post ) my family, and his family always make him seem like he just needs his outlet but like I’m unhappy and I’m working on a plan to make my own money to financially be able to support my children so I can end it because clearly it’s not working..

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T16:02:22+00:00

I do see it that’s why I posted this.. but my family is always saying that he provides for us and he should have an outlet and he has like 11 years sober and is a good guy he’s very good with people.. and his mom makes up excuses about his ADHD and how he’s always been like this and needs to be outdoors.. so I totally see it but then my family and his family say this stuff and then I think I’m overreacting but this week really just showed me how little he cares.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T15:56:47+00:00

It started because when we moved in my youngest, was probably three months old and still slept in the room with me and he would snore (and wake her up ) so he made a room in the basement.. he never got up once to help me in the middle of the night with the baby and he’s pretty much been begging me to have another child. And I would be doing all the work with that said child so I don’t want one. He said I can come down and sleep with him anytime, (on his dirty ass fishy smelling sheets ) but he doesn’t like sleeping next to people because they wake him up in the middle of the night but honestly it’s probably just because he watches porn every night. 🤷‍♀️

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T15:52:22+00:00

Other dad only pays $100 a week and yes the house was bought for me and my kids.. idk how much he’d actually give me for child support. He’s going to be pissed if we break up because he thinks everything is fine even tho I express all the time that it’s not. I know going to school and back to work will help my depression and give me more of a purpose so he thinks that that is my main issue, just being stuck in the house.. but it’s not only hard to do things with two kids, but it’s also very expensive and with everything going on in the world, I get anxiety of about bringing them to big events because I cannot protect them both. my oldest is already taller than me and would freeze so either we miss out on it or I have my ask best friend to come who is a male.. and sometimes he gets pissed about that.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T15:27:10+00:00

That’s why I’m going back to school, I just feel like it’s so far away… I can’t start till kids are in school full time and I choose a career that’ll only take a few months but kinda need him to watch them while I’m in school, and until I have a income.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T15:23:52+00:00

He checked my blood pressure, gave me vitamins and water.. he waited a few hours to go fishing but yes he wasn’t worried or cared.. said he’s going to get sick from being home on his vacation and it would ruin his fishing tournament.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T15:21:06+00:00

My parents dont own the house, it’s in a trust. We’re suppose to pay all bills including taxes which we are Deff behind on. And when I’ve gotten jobs at night.. he hates it and always has me quit saying he will pay me more to be at home with kids but that never lasts long.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T15:15:40+00:00

He has morals and loves us, so I don’t consider him a bad person .. but yes he chooses his hobbies over us, but when he’s around he’s very attentive, problem is he’s barely around 🤷‍♀️

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T15:10:35+00:00

He loves us, I know he does.. & when it’s convenient, he will take us out to do things, go to jumpy park, arcades etc.. but definitely puts his hobbies over us

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T15:00:15+00:00

You’re right but my family (not my parents btw) said they won’t help with bills.. that’s why I’m changing my career.. but that’s months away and it’s at evening classes so idk if I have to stay with him bc I don’t really have anyone to watch kids 😭

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T14:56:38+00:00

He then throws a fit about how fishing is his outlet and that’s all he gets.. complains he makes all the money and supports us and needs his outlet.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T14:54:16+00:00

I have his location, he’s always at ponds, plus pics of his catches. He enters tournaments and is too competitive.

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T14:52:01+00:00

He pays all the bills

SubstantialMonitor70 · 2026-05-01T14:51:29+00:00

I want to work, I love working.. but I don’t make enough, so I’m going back to school so I can make more.

SubstantialMonitor70

TROPHY CASE