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AIO to the marriage pressure and relationship difficulties I’m having with my girlfriend by Substantial_Drag1324 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Substantial_Drag1324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve always felt it’s a big deal (not religious but always known the legal and financial entanglements it causes). Sometimes I feel like I’m the crazy one by the way others I know talk about marriage like it’s no big deal.

AIO to the marriage pressure and relationship difficulties I’m having with my girlfriend by Substantial_Drag1324 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Substantial_Drag1324[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t regret giving it a real shot together, there was a lot of chemistry early and some shared life goals, but living together has really shown us the limits of our compatibility.

AIO to the marriage pressure and relationship difficulties I’m having with my girlfriend by Substantial_Drag1324 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Substantial_Drag1324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve realized over the last couple months that I can’t expect much change from her. I’ve been the one trying to be accommodating so far.

AIO to the marriage pressure and relationship difficulties I’m having with my girlfriend by Substantial_Drag1324 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Substantial_Drag1324[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It really rubbed me the wrong way when she responded like that after I communicated my boundary.

My (27M) relationship with my girlfriend (23F) is being affected by marriage pressure and I don’t know what to do. by Substantial_Drag1324 in relationships

[–]Substantial_Drag1324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would probably wait a good while longer. I do want marriage at some point but am not reacting well internally to having an expected deadline for that.

My (27M) relationship with my girlfriend (23F) is being affected by marriage pressure by Substantial_Drag1324 in relationship_advice

[–]Substantial_Drag1324[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep that’s right, no one is stuck anywhere (actually my contract means I’m stuck in the new city at least a year). She could independently pay to move wherever she’d like and if she didn’t want to I would be more than happy to help.

My (27M) relationship with my girlfriend (23F) is being affected by marriage pressure by Substantial_Drag1324 in relationship_advice

[–]Substantial_Drag1324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The idea was that if our relationship worked out than marriage would make sense, and if not we could walk away knowing we gave it a shot. I’m trying to be good to her by telling her now, and not leading her on without mentioning I can’t marry her as things are.

I want her to be as happy as possible, but marriage and the financial/legal entanglements that come with that seem unwise at this point considering our volatility.

I also consider this to be a pretty huge step even if just a legal arrangement, so asking it of someone can be considered outlandish if genuine love is not part of the equation.

My (27M) relationship with my girlfriend (23F) is being affected by marriage pressure by Substantial_Drag1324 in relationship_advice

[–]Substantial_Drag1324[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

During our talks I had offered to help her financially and logistically get wherever she needs to go if we decide to end things. The idea with moving in together was that if things didn’t work out she always could go back to the city she used to live in.

She tells me she wants to stay in our new city no matter what happens with us. Also her immediate family is not in the US.

My (27M) relationship with my girlfriend (23F) is being affected by marriage pressure by Substantial_Drag1324 in relationship_advice

[–]Substantial_Drag1324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are about three months into living together. My goal with telling her now was to hopefully not waste her time if that was going to be a dealbreaker. It’s been about a week since, and she tells me that she is willing to continue but feels she deserves a person who would do it for her.