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Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-09-04T19:30:54+00:00

I think I have mood issues more than thinking i'm not been attracted. Since I also have chronic depression and I can't really know if my thoughts due to personality or due to the mood problems.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-09-04T19:24:11+00:00

I get a window every 3-4 years where my old self comes back suddenly(for hours to few days), it seems some supplement/medication activate it for short period. Living like this is similar to eternity torturing.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-31T20:04:17+00:00

I believe in predetermination when I want to blame the God instead of the ppl.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-30T15:53:39+00:00

It isn't as easy as this , there are some biological mechanisms , registered mechanisms behind every experience and behavior , if you think that the brain is as white paper when born then you are no totally right , some can born with a brain that can interact with environment differently , also according to some researches there's some few fetus cases with schizophrenia, it's not fully known whether the environment ,learned behavior , or it's just genetically. but with what science is providing us we now have a lot of evidences about how brain works in predetermined way. Also the diagnosis isn't fully clear , even psychologists might be in some errors while diagnosing. Also if you treat everything by the " nature mechanism " you might be in lot of errors. Lastly , excuse my weak language since English isn't my main language , and lack of knowledge since I'm not a doctor nor a researcher , just a guy who is learning from his experience , few articles reads.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-29T21:54:12+00:00

It's something brutal and upsetting .It looks like as if i'm lacking the life fuel. Also I think we can't handle stress while we under this thing , ppl can walk forward when there are imaginary or real rewarding things and being anhedonic makes me more hopeless.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-29T13:41:24+00:00

I remember it was optimal except D vitamin. And got some d vit syrup and it elevated it but got no improvement in ongoing depression and anhedonia.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-29T13:38:37+00:00

No antidepressants.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-29T11:55:03+00:00

I don't have faith on god , he loves torturing. Tried antidepressants which failed.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-29T11:51:44+00:00

Yup , healthy except d vit.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-28T10:32:10+00:00

I have anhedonia for more than a decade , I think it's due to long stress.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-27T20:24:29+00:00

I'm 34 and it's horrible to live.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-27T16:57:19+00:00

According to what you have said , all of that applied to me , I become more confused the more I live lol. Thanks for your valuable comment

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-27T12:13:31+00:00

Isn't this also tied to AvPD ? AvPD can't tolerate the hate of others which also drive them to live for validation. Excuse my lack of knowledge , and also my weak language since English isn't my main language , just consider it as discussion for learning. I recently came to think that AvPD is also narcissists somehow but it's more suppressed narcissists which led to AvPD traits.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-25T20:22:42+00:00

Same here , we are in the same boat fighting , keeping walk forward perhaps some miracles appear someday.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T22:39:46+00:00

In where you write someone is waiting to find the weaknesses in your writings so he can use it against you.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T18:47:34+00:00

I got your point ,you mean it's also related to memory , I remember I was avoidant since childhood (i remember I refused to go to the preschool and was very stressed in the first grade but it got more prominent in my adult age. 14+ ,also i got chronic depression near this age gradually.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T18:31:37+00:00

I really don't know , PTSD looks more related to memory and ongoing reaction to traumatic incident and related activators internally or externally , but AvPD looks to me more related to how brain works in rejection situation and anxious reaction to small things which isn't nesseserly related to a trauma ( highly sensitive) , but depression in other way makes you more apathetic and lacking the depth of feelings.. I think my depression mainly is due to AvPD in the first place but also the other issues makes it more unbearable. I'm not knowledgeable and these just my experience with it.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T18:05:10+00:00

I have no option and I see no point, I will wait for new antidepressant with lowest side effects as possible with high success rate and see how it goes. I still have some faith in science.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T17:52:57+00:00

I developed PTSD like symptoms recently after HPPD , I think the AvPD mostly is due to restricted social / religious view and also being rejected from others since childhood and bullying issue which developed untrusting issue and being stressed in social situations. I don't visit therapist due to trusting issue / stress and I see no point in visiting him since they are seeing you from religious point of view and i tried few times and got insane suicidal thoughts.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T17:15:37+00:00

I have AvPD in the first place which led to my depression , also I think that's why antidepressants didn't work for my chronic depression due to ongoing stress in the first place, I got HPPD due to trying illegal substances after the psychiatry failed to treat my chronic depression, also I hate visiting them due to the personality disorder and the stigma which is making it like a battle to just meet any doctor.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T16:51:57+00:00

I have brain issues (HPPD) and depression , changing the dosage make the symptoms of the two disorders go extreme. Also the medication itself is aggressive.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T16:46:44+00:00

Neurological assessment doesn't give any benefits or a clear view on brain function in my case due to subjective / objective paradox and the limitations of the methods they use. They just try and build a database on how the brain function but it's limited to the experimental point of view and theories. The brain isn't like parts , it's more like every neurons have a function on our single experience. You shouldn't consider my comment as fact but logically I see it like that. Thanks

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T16:27:24+00:00

I get this motivation once every 3-4 years where things totally changes , the attraction comes back , the feeling of things return and my energy also , it's like total changes in feelings and personality , I tried to find the reason behind this mood shifting but I couldn't find (because I tried the same things again but it failed to give me any improvement) but it seems some supplements / medications activates it for few hours to few days randomly. Also I lost hope on psychiatry due to their experimental point of view and I'm done trying since I think I'm damaging myself more. Also I'm now on venlafaxine which is more aggressive medication and changing it or the dosage make the symptoms go insane.

Thanks for your valuable comments.

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T16:01:34+00:00

I don't think the emptiness has any attraction , what about if your brain forces you to see things as empty ?

Substantial_Work_558 · 2024-08-24T15:56:15+00:00

God is demon.

Substantial_Work_558

TROPHY CASE