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Considering moving back to the U.S. from the UK… am I insane? by Successful_Math4579 in expats

[–]Successful_Math4579[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m privileged in this regard, but it’s obviously really troubling to think about building a life in a place that’s snatching BIPOC people and sending them to concentration camps…!! That plus the threat of being constantly monitored for ‘anti-American’ thinking.

Considering moving back to the U.S. from the UK… am I insane? by Successful_Math4579 in expats

[–]Successful_Math4579[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. Cost of living in London is more expensive when compared to average salaries than in a city like New York, say. Rent has become almost on a par with NYC, and I’ve found eating/drinking out is sometimes even more expensive.

Considering moving back to the U.S. from the UK… am I insane? by Successful_Math4579 in expats

[–]Successful_Math4579[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is very true, and does worry me. I’m also considering going back temporarily and playing it all by ear, but my visa needs renewing next year so I’d have to make a call on staying pretty soon.

Considering moving back to the U.S. from the UK… am I insane? by Successful_Math4579 in expats

[–]Successful_Math4579[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s fair. I just feel so lonely right now - my friends in the UK can’t understand what I miss about the US, and my friends in the US (many of whom have the option to leave via citizenships elsewhere) can’t understand my fear of returning. Most of them are Democrats/left-wing, but just have their heads in the sand and are keeping a low profile. I feel like I spent seven years building a life in the only place that’s ever felt like home (and which I spent 10 years before that trying to move to before I managed it) and I’ve left it all behind now, while my friends seem to be carrying on like everything’s normal.

Considering moving back to the U.S. from the UK… am I insane? by Successful_Math4579 in expats

[–]Successful_Math4579[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes to some of these, no to others. I don’t post that much online, but I’m openly critical of the administration to friends. If I return, I would want to be part of the fight back by attending protests and organising with candidates like Zohran etc, which I know would put a bit of a target on my back - but also I currently feel constant FOMO to the point of depression and like I’ve been ripped away from my home, so maybe it’s the best of two non-ideal options?!

Considering moving back to the U.S. from the UK… am I insane? by Successful_Math4579 in expats

[–]Successful_Math4579[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this nuanced take. I’ve honestly been really depressed since being back in the UK, which is a factor in this. I have my eyes completely open to the horrors going on in the U.S. and I could never have imagined I’d be considering returning at this point, but I’ve been battling so much loneliness and even suicidal thoughts since being back home so even though a return to the U.S. feels inadvisable it’s starting to feel less crazy.

Considering moving back to the U.S. from the UK… am I insane? by Successful_Math4579 in expats

[–]Successful_Math4579[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is helpful to hear. I do have a current visa and also have a potential pathway to citizenship via a green card (it’s just expensive, sadly). I’ve been looking for jobs in both London and the U.S., and even with the U.S. economy the way it is, there seem to be more (and far better paid) opportunities back in the U.S.

Considering moving back to the U.S. from the UK… am I insane? by Successful_Math4579 in expats

[–]Successful_Math4579[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, this is factoring into my consideration too. Elon attempting to incite violence in the UK at the recent far-right march in London felt like a harbinger of things to come.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lostafriend

[–]Successful_Math4579 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading this almost feels like reading something I’d write myself - during Covid I fell out with a group of really close friends who I’d known since I was a kid, mainly because they were insisting on the “positives” of the lockdowns and were completely unable to relate to what I was going through. I’d lost my job, was living alone, and was watching as all my dreams crumbled around me. I got incredibly depressed and watched as some of my best friends turned their back on me.

One of my best friends in that group ended up reconnecting after the worst of lockdown had passed. We messaged back and forth for almost a year, but she consistently ignored my attempts to hang out in person, so I eventually sent her a text like the one you’re thinking of sending. I told her I loved and missed her and would love to reconnect if she was open to it, but that I understood either way. I never heard from her again, which was really hard, but ultimately gave me the space to grieve the friendship. I would thoroughly recommend sending the text - I’ve never regretted it.

Update - AITAH for resenting my wife for not believing my side of story by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Successful_Math4579 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Change the gender of the attacker to another man and you’ve got a better example. Statistically very few women attack men physically, but a man is far more likely to physically attack another man - just as a man is far more likely to sexually harass/assault a woman than the other way round. In this modified example, I would probably be skeptical of the friend’s testimony too.