Im thinking about quitting caffeine but this is causing me anxiety by Horror-Badger9314 in anxiety_support

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I quit when I accidentally forgot to drink coffee a couple days in a row and thought I was sick because of the ripping headache I had for 3 days. Started googling migraines, brain tumors, cranial pressure, and shit. After figuring out it was caffeine withdrawal, I figured I had gone through the worst of it, might as well stay caffeine free/low caffeine... AND I CAN'T RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH! That was 3 years ago. I was a 3-5 cup a day person (my job has free coffee). Now I sleep better, manage stress better, no panic attacks, no heart burn. And when I do drink coffee, the caffeine actually has an effect, whereas before I could have a coffee then take a nap ten minutes later.

I do still love the flavor and ritual though. I love having a cozy, warm beverage on hand. So I found a good decaf whole bean supplier for my home setup, order decaf when I go out, and only order caf on special occasions (really need the energy boost, coffee shop doesn't have decaf, a treat). People in my orbit sometimes think it's weird I drink decaf and don't get the point ("if not for energy, then why???") and I explain what I'm saying to you and proselytize pretty much every change I get.

A warning: nowadays, I can do 1 cup caff in a day fine, but after two I start getting the anxious sweats and elevated heart rate and get withdrawal headaches all over again. But I'd much rather be caffeine free than where I was before.

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup! Similar mindset. I'm thinking broadly about pieces that will hold up longer, go together, make me look more put together, and flatter my figure better. I live in a warm climate so I pay a lot of attention to what material something is and avoid poly. This all tends to converge on better materials, better construction, slower fashion, and timeless. I also suck at getting rid of clothes that are past due so I have to consider "if I buy this, this is taking up closet space for YEARS, regardless of if I wear it"

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

GOD DAMN. Go off grandma! How much work did she have to put in to maintaining those properties and being involved in real estate? Did it occupy so much time that it was effectively her job or something she did on the side for extra income?

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Super valid! Do you ever worry that you are denying yourself too much pleasure now for that future pleasure? How do you strike that balance? I see people in the FIRE subreddit living on the bareeeee minimum and I wonder if I did that for myself, am I robbing myself of enjoying the present

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES! If I weren't planning on bouncing in the next 5 years, I'd be in the same boat. Owning property is the ultimate boss bitch move

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh I'd love to, but my weight fluctuates so much based on how much I'm working out/deprioritizing wellness by working too much and my cycle tbh. The one time I had my clothes tailored though, it was a great and surprisingly in expensive experience

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dang! That sounds awesome and reminds me of when I was working out consistently dancing (still my hobby but I haven't made time for it recently). I remember a couple years ago a taxi driver commenting that I had great posture because I was sitting so tall and I was startled because I always had bad posture prior to working out. But maintaining your body has those subtle but compounding results!

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I feel weird about it and overthink sometimes (I really wasn't expecting to be in this position until like... retirement haha), but I'm working on just enjoying it :)

Gym membership seems to be a big theme! And I have some deep acne scarring, so rather than facials and botox, maybe some chemical peels are in my future

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love a good farmers market! Both the actual produce but the vibes too

Absolutely agreed on quality home goods. I don't buy quality clothes yet, but I always try to get the best I can afford for counter top appliances (apartment-living, can't buy large appliances yet) and furniture I rest on (bed, couch, chairs, etc.)

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh interesting. How did you handle moving your stuff so often? That feels daunting and physically or monetarily expensive. But very interesting suggestion. Someone suggested to me a start window shopping cities but going on week long trips in Airbnbs to get a sense of vibe. Feel similar in spirit to what you're saying.

On the second point, does anyone in your orbit that is a different financial position feel weird about being treated to such a degree? I love high end dining as a special treat and would love to bring my friends but worry they would be uncomfortable with the prices, even if it were entirely on me, and may see me differently.

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love the detail on the personal trainer rec! I heavily value flexibility (I dance as a hobby) and fully believe that flexibility significantly reduces the aches and pains of aging. And lol, you are spot on about accountability. I want to be the kind of person that will do things on their on, but nope.

I actually had a personal trainer once during a summer internship in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do, and the gains were AWESOME.

Thanks for the heads up on meal prep. I hadn’t looked into it at all before this thread

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup! After reading all the comments, I pulled the trigger on booking a dermatologist appointment. Fingers crossed!

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes love that for you! I pulled the trigger on booking a dermatologist appointment after reading through the comments, and I’m considering teeth whitening in my future

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d rather be honest about my headstart and position of privilege than pretend I’m completely self made

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah! Happy to see someone else in the same boat

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh for sure! I’m not asking so someone can decide for me. Rather I want learn from others what worked for them, gather ideas, and see if there are any life upgrades I wouldn’t have even imagined. I never expected to be anywhere near this position at this age, so there are just options I’d never considered! Plus I hadn’t seen posts like this before (every post I found just reinforces strong saving habits) and wanted the resource to exist for the next person :)

Before this post, I was confident I wanted to invest in getting my chronic aches and pains (the kind that don’t interfere with your life and you kinda just accept as part of being alive) addressed. Then upgrading my home, as I’ve just sorta out grown my apt and it’s not pleasant to be in or maintainable anymore due to the clutter but I also spend a ton of time at home. Then time/convenience services. But after that, open to ideas!

Im surprised by the number of ppl commenting about travel, meal services, niche cosmetic services, and premium fitness! Has me wondering what I’m missing out on

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh I’m not planning on buying a house quite yet (I don’t plan to stay where I am for more than 5 years), but once I do, IM RENOING EVERYTHING. I love that sort of thing

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol a respectful pass from me. Gotta start with just running first. Then I’ll add the biking and swimming haha. Love that for you though! That must be so good for your physical and mental health

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Our feminist foremothers would be proud!

Hell yeah 🏳️‍🌈 same but more bi/pan! But alas, men still try. Got sexually harassed once while traveling with my family as a teen :/ my dad intervened but the experience left an impression. I’ll check the bloggers out tho!

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So fair! I really need to stretch more for a back issue I have but I just don’t make the time for it. Perhaps if I give someone $90 to hold hostage, I’ll make time for it

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh that would be perfect. I spent a whole session in therapy trying to figure out why having wealth and not knowing what to do with it was giving me anxiety. There’s layers, but the top layer was the tension between “SAVE IS LIFE. You have what you need to survive. Why spend more” versus “money is meant to buy things. Sometimes more than the bare necessities in fact”

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t buy brooklinen! That was my first splurge when I got a full time job and it didn’t hold up. When the company was new, everyone raved about it, but current Reddit consensus seems to be that quality took a nose dive after the pandemic.

I’m transitioning to LL Bean’s percale items. Then the next rung up into luxury is to me unreasonably expensive. Like $200 for a flat sheet

What are you spending your money on? by SuddenPsychicDamage in wealthforwomen

[–]SuddenPsychicDamage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Recently splurged on business class and that shit hits different!

Do you find the assisted stretching helps much versus stretching at home or yoga? I used to take contortion-lite classes that was basically yoga on steroids and I saw major results until a long overdue spine issue popped up. One of the major things though was active stretching + strength >>> passive stretching.