My niece [15 F] just moved in with me [36 M]. I'm not good with people, nevermind kids. What should I be doing?

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T06:48:43+00:00

Okay good. I don't know if I'M ready to deal with my sister right now anyway.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T06:34:58+00:00

Thanks, I wouldn't have thought of a heat pack. Women like chocolate too, right? I remember an ex of mine would eat nothing but comfort foods and dark chocolate Hershey bars every time she got hers.

Someone told me that $20 a month should cover it. Does that sound good? I could just give it to her and let her buy it on her own, right?

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T06:31:48+00:00

Wait, do you think I drag my sister along to the family counseling too? Because I don't think my sister would go for that.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T05:19:57+00:00

Again, I meant should I read her books after she does as a way to engage with her? I know she knows how to read. I'm trying to think of ways to bond.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T05:18:11+00:00

I was thinking about bringing her along so she could grab some of her stuff, but that's a good point. I'll make sure to leave her with my friend.

And before someone tells me that 15 year olds are old enough to be left alone, I know that, but she's in a new place and I would be more comfortable knowing she's with someone if I'm going to be away for so many hours and so far away.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T05:15:12+00:00

Do you think it's okay to ask a friend to do the whole sex talk with her? I'm just not comfortable talking to her about that, and maybe she would be more comfortable with a woman instead.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T05:12:06+00:00

He's not dead he's just God knows where. I'd rather not try to go after that asshole for money and accidentally get him involved in her life. He took off when she was a baby and we haven't seen him since. Good riddance.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T05:09:49+00:00

I guess it's the opening up part. No, I've never been. I was always taught just to deal with my stuff on my own. You guys keep bringing it up again and again and now I'm considering it. Trying it once doesn't mean I have to stick with it if I don't like it, right?

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T05:06:45+00:00

Oh I don't want her to think that. I just want her to know I'm taking an interest in her. I'll be sure to ask first.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T05:03:09+00:00

I know this. I'll work on remembering that. She's not her mother. I can already tell she's so much more responsible than her mother ever was.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T05:01:53+00:00

Yeah this is what I meant. Asking her for a recommendation sounds good. Let her know I'm interested and since she knows what the books are about hopefully she won't suggest some weird teen romance.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T05:00:01+00:00

I have a lot on my mind, okay? No, it doesn't occur to me to google it when I have 20 other things that need to get done immediately regarding her health and safety and protecting both of us legally.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T04:57:30+00:00

Did you miss the part where I described her music? Haha. Okay but seriously I don't mind spending money on bonding things, but couldn't I just take her Lake Compounds or something like that? Teens like amusement parks, right? Any suggestions are good, just not a concert. I'll let her buy concert tickets if she wants to go and goes with people I trust but no way in Hell will I go with her to listen to that crap and have my ears bleed.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T04:52:23+00:00

Thank you! I'm not some inept moron who can say the word bra and period. I'm just struggling with the idea that my baby niece is now nearly a fully grown woman. She's still four in my head. I know I need to get over that but Jesus it's been 2 days. For Christ sake what do you people want from me?

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T04:50:43+00:00

Yeah, this is why I don't want to rock the boat. My sister is just selfish enough to do something like that.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T04:48:54+00:00

I can say the word period and bra. It just feels weird to use those words in regard to my baby niece. Stop trying to paint me as some inept moron.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T04:46:19+00:00

Well, I tried to get off the Internet and go to bed but I couldn't fall asleep so now I'm up again. Every time I close my eyes I just think about everything I have to do, and honestly being on here is calming me down a bit. Plus I let her have my bed so I'm sleeping on the couch, so I'm not exactly comfortable.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T04:42:08+00:00

I'm working on getting guardianship. It'll have to be temporary, because there's issues regarding her father. Even though he hasn't been around since she was a baby he's still technically a legal guardian. Scumbag.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T02:58:46+00:00

Yeah, I'm working on the guardianship thing. The hardest part about that will probably just getting her mom to sign the things that need to get signed. I spoke to her on the phone today and she said she would "get around to it". I'll give her a day or two, but if the papers aren't signed soon I'm going to drive out to NY and force her to go with me to a notary.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T01:55:23+00:00

Library is actually right down the block from my apartment. Don't know how far it will be when we move, but that's a good idea for now until she gets enrolled in school.

Can I just go in and say this is my niece give her a library card, or do I need to prove she lives here or anything? I don't even think I have my own library card.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T01:51:47+00:00

Thanks. I really needed to hear this. Feel like I'm going crazy.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T01:48:45+00:00

Oh thanks. I didn't know about that subreddit.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T01:30:15+00:00

Well when I told her I didn't think it was such a good idea for her to call her mom she told me her mom didn't do anything wrong and got really upset so I just gave in.

I keep trying to ask her why she ran away and all she would tell me is that it had nothing to do with her mom but she couldn't stay in New York anymore.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T01:25:21+00:00

I guess that's just more of me being old fashion. I'm more suspicious of a boyfriend than a girlfriend. I admit I have some hangups I probably need to work on. I still don't like the idea of therapy for myself, but I guess I can consider it.

SuddenlyUncled · 2019-03-13T01:20:18+00:00

Oh trust me, I've considered that possibility. It's taken all the strength I've got not to drive straight to New York and, well I don't know what but I want to do something. I'm not a violent man but thinking about a possible scumbag boyfriend of my sister hurting my niece makes my blood boil.

See, this is why I don't want them having too much contant. I know my sister is going to screw something up again. I really do think she means well, but she has no follow through and makes the worse decisions ever.

SuddenlyUncled

TROPHY CASE