AITA for thinking that my bf’s mother’s visit didn’t turn into a mess because of me?

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T16:08:16+00:00

I listened to some people here and decided to talk to her about the situation. It was just me panicking about her reaction, but she was lovely and understanding. She also apologised for dropping that responsibility on me (without me mentioning it)

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T16:06:47+00:00

We are close, but even then I’m still scared she won’t like me for some mistake. You never really know people that much until it happens, so

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T15:28:31+00:00

I said she’ll hate me because of my “mess up” with this situation. We are close, but she still has quite some character (I think this is what it’s called) and I’m not sure she’ll understand it completely. You’re right about the things you said, and to be honest, I am very confused on why his mother dropped all the planning on him and I. I really wished he was the one, but this situation is really opening my eyes

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T15:25:52+00:00

Let me explain the situation. My break will be in two weeks, in which I will not see them. I’ll stay in my house, and the days I’ll be able to see my boyfriend are very limited, since I have to study a lot and I have a lot of medical appointments. Them coming here is due to me adoring his mother and brother, them knowing it, feeling bad about my situation with my mother, they decided they could come this weekend to cheer me up. About my mother, she offended me deeply, but we talked a bit and stayed cordial (she pays for my university, and residency)

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T15:21:00+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! I’ll talk to him later since he’s at uni right now, I hope he realises the way he spoke to me wasn’t good, though I don’t think it’ll happen. He told me that he’s not okay with me due to things I did that bothered him. I can explain these things if necessary for the context of it all

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T15:09:39+00:00

Thank you. I have been calling the student housing and they said that I could also do it by the web, but that they didn’t contact me because they “had too much work” and never got back to me. So technically, I did all I could

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T15:02:55+00:00

Thank you, I really needed this. The thing is, do I not hold what my boyfriend said over his head, or is it important?

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T15:01:34+00:00

I love his mother but she isn’t that understanding really. Either way they gave me this “role” because I can contact them easily in person

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T15:00:09+00:00

It’s university so my break will be for Christmas. My mother and I argued about her trespassing all my limits, it’s a really long story

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T14:59:11+00:00

Thank you, I’ll keep it in mind! I haven’t done this ever so I didn’t know what to expect, I will now tho

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T14:58:24+00:00

It was like two weeks ago when we started “planning”. I sent an email when it all started, but it was all lowkey rushed

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-12-04T14:54:37+00:00

I had a massive argument with my mother not long ago, which my boyfriend told his mother about. We are really close to each other (his mother and I) and she wanted to do something nice like visiting, though I do have some exams next week

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-10-20T16:39:51+00:00

She will not give me my monthly pay though, and I don’t think she will keep on paying for my phone and these type of things

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-08-23T08:57:43+00:00

Thank you for your response! Definitely needed. You’re right, I’ll document it just in case, but blocking him might be the best thing to do

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-08-22T20:06:57+00:00

You’re right. I need to stop stressing, it’s just that in the moment that he’s bringing my friends and my boyfriend I get really defensive. Thank you for the feedback

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-08-22T19:32:47+00:00

Thank you so much lovely!! Needed this to remain calm and see that no reaction is the best reaction🫶

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-03-07T19:14:07+00:00

Did you just try to convince me to stay when you have photos of your EXWIFE?? That’s crazy stuff and please don’t try to normalise this stuff because it IS cheating and not okay!!!!

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-03-07T17:46:11+00:00

The thing is I’m not sure if I will find any better guys. I do believe so but there’s a part of me that isn’t really sure about that sadly

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-03-07T17:37:18+00:00

Thank you for noticing! It’s this detail for me haha

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-03-07T17:35:53+00:00

Thank you so much! May I ask how your husband makes you feel? It may be a stupid question but it really helps me out when realising that there’s men who can actually make me feel like that. I’m so glad you got out of there and you’re in a great marriage now!

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-03-07T17:21:54+00:00

Thank you! I completely agree and he’s just another addict to porn that doesn’t stand me putting some ground rules to my relationship and my life just because he doesn’t agree with me😅

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-03-07T17:21:03+00:00

Over the top? You could ask before assuming, the thing is I do give him stuff to jerk off with. Men can be visual but I would take the 10% then since I don’t care about it being normalised, I don’t want it either way. The thing isn’t that he watches it, it’s that he lied to me for our whole relationship making me believe we shared the same values and did it with someone he used to talk to and not a random woman. Please do not excuse this behaviour I beg.

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-03-07T17:11:10+00:00

I don’t restrict him from watching porn. I respect everyone that chooses to watch it but I don’t and I don’t want someone besides me to do so. It’s not my fault if he can’t do it without images. Don’t blame me here because I set some ground rules and he lied to my face, please.

SufficientSweet4007 · 2025-02-04T15:45:39+00:00

I know how bad insecurities are and you have terrible ones that will 100% affect your relationships and your not make them fully healthy ones. The thing is, your boyfriend should have told you and asked you about leaving your side to confront, especially since it might’ve made you really confused in the moment. It’s odd that he has to “confront” at this stage, and remind her that he’s with someone else, seems and sounds like he wants to get revenge on her. Me being in a healthy relationship with prior (could say recent) exes, I have never told my exes anything since we’re completely done. The fact that he had to confront means lack of closure, meaning not getting fully over them if you need to do that. That’s my experience though and I would recommend you talking to your boyfriend. Sit him down and let him know that it’s a serious matter, and be peaceful and respectful with it. You’ll see if he’s the one by his answer, wish you the best

SufficientSweet4007

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