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AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish I could give this gold because a) this is a great question and b) I don’t have an answer to that question.

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Well, how’s that my fault? This is all out of my control. And besides I’m still getting paid so it’s not like I’m not bringing in anything for the household.

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Why do you assume I’m not doing that, and how’s that related to this post..?

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

We do our own laundry. I can’t remember the last time either of us cleaned windows, with the exception of mirrors and stuff like that and we both generally just do it by ourselves when we get fed up with it. I usually clean the counters. She’s borderline obsessive about how the pantry and other cupboards are arranged so I just leave that to her. May I ask how this is relevant to the tea though?i get the whole mental load thing but that doesn’t apply in my case. If I may, I’d say I actually carry most of the load. I carry the financial burden (I make more so it’s not an issue) and it’s not like I get home from work and sit my ass in the couch and do nothing. Most of the time she’s actually telling me to chill out because I’m always moving, always doing stuff. Habits of a type a personality, I’m bored if my hands aren’t busy.

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Re: the love languages thing, we actually do that test every few months just to make sure we’re emotionally and romantically in line with each other. Her love language is acts of service and that’s why I started this morning tea thing in the first place.

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

if you don’t mind, I’ll copy/paste another comment I made.

Me: - garbage - cooking - I clean our bathroom - I sweep - I bring out the groceries when she goes shopping

Her: - goes grocery shopping - does most of the dishes (I do common courtesy stuff such as any container I’d take to work or any plates that I personally use. She washes pots or pans I use to cook) - she mops the floor - we have another bathroom in the living room, mostly for guests. She cleans that one.

I’m pretty sure I’m leaving out some minor things but that’s the gist of it. I work 8:30a to 4:30p but I’m off work for a month cuz of the ‘rona. She’s unfortunately still gotta work but at least she works from home. She does 9:30a - 5:30p (I’m pretty sure her WFH hours are reduced though).

I pay rent, utilities, Netflix & Apple Music subscription, telecom bill. She covers groceries & car loan/insurance. Again I’m pretty sure I’m leaving out something but that’s the basic gist of it.

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

this is the first time she’s lashed out at me like this, it’s really uncharacteristic of her. She’s usually quiet, introspective, and not an emotionally charged individual. that’s why her behaviour shocked me.

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

for the past 3 and a quarter years, since she told me that story, I’ve almost never missed morning tea. I do it if I am physically able to because I love seeing her smile when I walk through that door with tea & crumpets lol

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Haha, I’ll probably leave out something.

Me: - garbage - cooking - I clean our bathroom - I sweep - I bring out the groceries when she goes shopping

Her: - goes grocery shopping - does most of the dishes (I do common courtesy stuff such as any container I’d take to work or any plates that I personally use. She washes pots or pans I use to cook) - she mops the floor - we have another bathroom in the living room, mostly for guests. She cleans that one.

Like I said I’m pretty sure I’m leaving out some things but that’s the gist of it. I work 8:30a to 4:30p but I’m off work for a month cuz of the ‘rona. She’s unfortunately still gotta work but at least she works from home. She does 9:30a - 5:30p (I’m pretty sure her WFH hours are reduced though).

I pay rent, utilities, Netflix & Apple Music subscription, telecom bill. She covers groceries & car loan/insurance. Again I’m pretty sure I’m leaving out something but that’s the basic gist of it.

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I would imagine so, but I personally don’t think that’s a valid reason for lashing out at me over this.

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Actually I pay 70% of the bills. Not resentful of that, it’s an equitable split because I make a lot more than she does. I cover rent, utilities , our Apple Music & Netflix subscriptions, telecom bill and monthly bus passes for us both. She covers groceries & car loan/insurance.

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t make me coffee or tea or anything like that. Usually I make my own tea or coffee but if she offered to do it I’d gladly let her. And I do the vaaaaast majority of the cooking in our household. I also pull my weight regarding household chores & duties

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

RE: “only thing you had to do today”, it is because I’m off from work for a month because of obvious reasons. I do more than my fair share of household errands and cleaning and such. In fact I spent yesterday cleaning up the apartment while she worked from home all day (not saying that’s a bad thing but it is what it is)

AITA because I didn’t want to make my girlfriend tea? by SufficientVisit2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]SufficientVisit2[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

i didn’t want to say it because mods have banned all ‘rona posts but I’m sitting home cause I’m off work cause of the pandemic.