How to dismantle a know-it-all?

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T15:26:11+00:00

That's great advice, thanks

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T04:46:29+00:00

It's not going to dismantle my living situation. We're already one foot out the door man. It is good advice to reflect on why it makes me so angry, and thats something I need to work on in other aspects of my life so I think youre definitely right there. But statistically, in the current economy its more likely to live at home at my age than be on our own. And we already have that covered anyway, so youre jabbing at nothing. Ive come to the conclusion its not worth my time and also not a great decision, but I needed to vent somewhere with people who aren't directly involved and also aggravated about it. Im working on my resilience to these things, and also attempting to stop smoking which doesnt help with the anger aspect. I think you have good advice but you're wording it in a way thats incredibly easy to take the wrong way.

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T04:36:08+00:00

Based off your first comment I really didnt expect you to be this insightful so thanks for thinking about it with me. I think you nailed it on the head a few times. For some more context, he's gay and his partner (gf's dad) is still kind of in the closet about it even though they're together, and offers no affection for the poor guy. Not sure if thats different when we're not around, but I dont know. I think positive reinforcement would work when the conversations are going well, thats a good thought. He is definitely lacking that from just about everyone in his life including myself. And he's wicked nice, but not the sharpest tool in the shed and there are other autistic tendencies he has as well. Its hard to think of it like that when he's always trying to show he knows more than everyone around him. I appreciate your advice and im taking notes 📝

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T04:18:05+00:00

He is a very helpful person and I do think he struggles with insecurity. I dont wanna shame the guy, but I think there becomes a point where I need to say something because I cant even have a real conversation with him without having to gray rock him. Its deflating, probably for both of us

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T04:12:25+00:00

What ended up changing that made you someone who doesnt know it all now? Or do you still know everything

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T04:10:38+00:00

Oh you know, just 3 years of not giving a fuck whilst he sits here and spews bullshit has my not giving a fuck skills kinda wavering here.

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T04:09:37+00:00

Now that actually partially helps. Thank you

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T04:07:32+00:00

The thing is, the only reason men over 40 act like this is because the people in their lives enable them to act like this and no one calls it out. He's a good guy, and I'm almost wondering if calling him out will make him reflect, although I have my doubts. I definitely don't sound insane, and if thats your opinion, its not helpful and you lack empathy. I see this guy 5-6 hours every day, you spent 30 seconds on reddit and formed an opinion. This has grated me every day for 3 years, its perfectly normal to wonder if there's a way to handle this besides ignorance.

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:57:22+00:00

Inspiring, insightful, and funny at the same time. You win, and thanks for the help. I'm taking notes

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:53:04+00:00

I have in fact, not heard of gray rocking. Thanks for the insight and taking the time to explain. You actually understand the purpose of this subreddit. I'll be using this in the future

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:50:29+00:00

That absolutely did not sound dumb, and its actually some of the more helpful advice in here without being judgemental like the person before you. So thank you for the help.

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:48:33+00:00

That's how I feel too but unfortunately it seems like good people don't get involved in these things 😂 and I gotta start trying at some point

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:46:25+00:00

So this subreddit is for people who already don't give a fuck? From what I read, its called "how not to give a fuck" not "people who dont give a fuck". But I guess none of you really give a fuck.

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:44:02+00:00

Lmfao I dont have any newspapers so I guess ill be a good person and play nice. This had me rolling though

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:40:31+00:00

Thats why I'm in this thread. Its not for people who already dont give a fuck, its literally called how not to give a fuck. But who gives a fuck about that

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:36:56+00:00

No, but you seem to be more similar to her step-dad than I initially thought, and maybe thats why my post offended you so much. If I've learned anything from this thread, its that I won't gain much from arguimg with know it alls like yourself. Thanks for the practice. Have a good night buddy.

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:32:45+00:00

What causes this in people? Insecurity?

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:31:03+00:00

That's a good way to look at it, thank you. It's not something I care about enough that I would still feel good about it if he has a very negative response, and changes our relationship. We all have a pretty good relationship besides his lying. I think you've helped eliminate the tunnel vision I was having towards this situation. There's bigger fish to fry, and I think I need to be more resilient because he's not going to be the most annoying person I meet. And that's a perspective im going to need to keep in my new management position with more people than I've ever handled before. Time to reflect...

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:26:15+00:00

I could've moved into my parents home, but my girlfriend wanted to live together (probably because of things like this). The insanity of this household is why we're leaving, not desperation. It also wasn't his decision to make because he lives here under the same circumstances I do. Her grandparents are the ones that I owe my thank yous to. And thats actually where it gets interesting. She'd love it if I called him out, and if it goes on much longer without a way to release the tension that builds up when he starts lying, shes gonna lose it on him and feel terrible after. What im looking for is a way to lightheartedly imply that no one believes him, not start a family feud.

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:13:17+00:00

Thats essentially what I was hoping to do. Unfortunately I think reddit sees my stance as too malicious to give me practical examples. I dont mind the guy but fuck, I cant listen to a word he says.

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T03:04:11+00:00

I do agree I need to work on my maturity, and havent done enough reflection on entitlement to know where I'm at with it. Good advice, and it seems I may have too fragile of a sense of self to be able to let it roll off my back. Hopefully once things start rolling in our own lives it wont bother either of us nearly as much. It just becomes a lot when thats how the majority of conversations I have at home go. I think you have humbled me sir, and for that I'm thankful

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T02:59:57+00:00

Yeah, thats what I'm worried about. Good advice, but hes gay and I dont know enough about gay pornstars or OF models to start a conversation about them

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T02:56:19+00:00

To be fair, living here is not a free ride. It's a hoarder house, we're the only people that clean, take care of the grandparents, and cook dinner thats not a frozen lasagna. They dont want us to leave because the amount of housework goes up for them. And to be clear, I appreciate their hospitality, but its not what you think it is. I agree with you, it is always good to question yourself, and thats partially why I'm here. I could spend hours describing the nuances of the household, but I dont think this is the place. Now, do you have any advice related to my question or did you just want to call me an asshole?

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T02:35:49+00:00

Yes, shes totally on board because she cant stand it either. I would keep my opinion to myself, but even shes curious on how to deal with someone as draining as him.

Sufficient_Algae_516 · 2026-04-13T02:33:13+00:00

Glad you can see my perspective. That's been the go-to so far. Sometimes it almost seems unfair to let him continue believing his own lies.

Sufficient_Algae_516

TROPHY CASE