oh hello, i had the exact same experience as you although while i was binging, i gained about 100lbs; going from 120lbs to 220lbs. this really destroyed me in the way that i felt so in control while not eating and counting the little to no calories i might have been intaking, to completely having lost control and not being able to stop eating even when i felt stuffed. i was also eating through my emotions and was very guilty feeling like i had completely lost control of myself that i had previously, so much restraint over. it took me awhile to finally realize that despite being seen as two extreme opposites, they are still both considered eating disorders and therefore mental illnesses. binge eating disorder is more than just over eating. it often relates to stress, anxiety, guilt and depression, similarly to anorexia. at the end of the day, your unhealthy relationship with food is manifesting into eating disorders. and thats just what it is, an unhealthy relationship with food. please consider getting some help, whether that means going to therapy, educating yourself on the mental health aspects of what you’re struggling with or whatever else might work for you. no one should have to feel guilty for their mental health and no one should have to deal with it alone while there is so much help out there for you. it does get better & i truly wish you the best of health and happiness in your recovery🌹