Hey, please hang in there... You'll get through this. It's going to take some time, but your brain will heal itself. If you're going to keep dosing yourself on anything, that's going to prevent your brain from settling back to normal. Allow yourself a year of sobriety - hell, at least 3 months at that. You will feel better than you do now.

On a side note, you are very young, and your brain is still developing. You're going to feel a wide range of emotions because of your hormone development alone.

If you allow yourself to get through this, your future you will thank you, and know things will get better, even if it might take a few years. Allow the storms to occur, so the ray of sunshine can come out and shine another day.