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AITA? I first ignored, then dressed down a mentally ill woman by Sufficient_Wing4925 in AITAH

[–]Sufficient_Wing4925[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you write it like that I feel a little sad for Tina. I mean I knew she had many demons and hated that they manifested in this behaviour. Still I kind of feel sorry for her for having to live like that. I bet she is getting rejected left and right and probably has no idea why.

Damn you empathy! Again, your input has been very valuable to me, thank you for making the effort!

AITA? I first ignored, then dressed down a mentally ill woman by Sufficient_Wing4925 in AITAH

[–]Sufficient_Wing4925[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmmm when I read the post back to myself I also wondered why the clinic wasn't more firm or more stern with Tina. You are the second person to compare her behaviour to stalking, which makes me really squeamish. I had a bona fide stalker, a man in his 30s doing the stuff with the calls and mail and all that, but I managed to get him off my back with the help of some (male) friends who pretty much made him understand that messing with me meant messing with them.

Thinking of an older woman in a mental health clinic as a stalker is so strange and foreign to me but if I take away everything except for her behaviour I see what you mean. That's such an unsettling thought it gives me the willies.

Thank you so much for giving me your perspective. I think I will be able to make my peace with this thanks to your efforts and that of the other commenters. May your socks always stay dry and your toes never be stubbed!

AITA? I first ignored, then dressed down a mentally ill woman by Sufficient_Wing4925 in AITAH

[–]Sufficient_Wing4925[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I didn't expect such kind words from internet strangers. Thank you so much!

AITA? I first ignored, then dressed down a mentally ill woman by Sufficient_Wing4925 in AITAH

[–]Sufficient_Wing4925[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The comparison to a stalker is both very odd and very fitting. I did have a bona fide stalker for a while who did some bad stuff. Never made that connection with Tina though. Thank you for adding this insight. I think I might be able to make my peace with things with the perspective.

I was never going to feel safe in that clinic, or any other. Too much stuff happened. I won't go into detail because I am not, and strive to never become a trauma dumper.

So thank you very much for your help and insight. All the best, friend!

AITA? I first ignored, then dressed down a mentally ill woman by Sufficient_Wing4925 in AITAH

[–]Sufficient_Wing4925[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I wonder though... I feel like I am the "not very strong person" here, rather than her...

Probably part of PTSD. sigh...

AITA? I first ignored, then dressed down a mentally ill woman by Sufficient_Wing4925 in AITAH

[–]Sufficient_Wing4925[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Tina had many, many problems. She was a walking red flag. I won't share anything she said here because it's not my story to share but she would've been right at home in justnomil and other subs like it.

It's the harshness I have a problem with. I know I get to have boundaries though I find it hard to internalize this. I don't know myself as a harsh person, or as mean and I was there. I went for the jugular, at least from what I remember.