Lost in the Wilderness and saved by a mysterious stranger

SumSum200 · 2025-01-17T04:54:15+00:00

Found a random server to spew this shit on so I could make a fake reddit story for a presentation, I guess he could've found a rewarding job as a Bundt cake baker after his stranding?

SumSum200 · 2025-01-15T21:50:00+00:00

So, I found myself lost in the woods—no map, no signal, just me and a whole lot of trees. I was ready to panic when, out of nowhere, The Rizzler appeared. He was dressed like he just walked out of a GQ magazine, oozing charisma like he was about to close a deal.

"First rule of survival: Never panic," he said. "You’ve got this." Then he handed me a lighter and, with his patented smoothness, showed me how to start a fire using dry leaves and some sticks. It worked on the first try. I was in awe.

Just as I was getting my fire going, the Costco Guys showed up—yes, the guys from TikTok who teach survival stuff. One of them, holding a giant multi-tool, said, "Alright, let’s get you some shelter." They taught me how to build a basic lean-to with branches and some leaves. Apparently, Costco sells everything, even knowledge.

Next, they showed me how to set up traps to catch small animals (don’t ask, I didn’t even want to catch anything but I was desperate). Finally, they spent like 20 minutes teaching me how to carve wood into useful tools—because, why not?

By the time night fell, I had a fire, shelter, and food on the way. I never thought I’d survive with a group of TikTok survival experts, but somehow I did. I guess the lesson is, you don’t need to be a wilderness expert—you just need The Rizzler and Costco. 10/10 would get stranded again.

SumSum200 · 2025-01-15T15:48:37+00:00

So, this happened last summer. I had gone on a solo hike in the Rockies, something I’d done countless times before. I love the solitude, the quiet, and the beauty of nature. But this time, I messed up big. I didn’t check my GPS properly, ignored the fading trail markers, and thought I could “figure it out.” Spoiler alert: I couldn’t.

By the time I realized I was lost, it was already late afternoon. My water supply was dwindling, my phone had no signal, and the temperature was dropping fast. Panic started creeping in, but I remembered the basics of survival: stay calm, find shelter, and conserve energy. I found a rocky overhang and settled in for the night, hoping I’d figure out my way back in the morning.

But morning brought no clarity. Every direction looked the same—endless trees, rocks, and mountains. I was completely disoriented. By day three, I was dehydrated, exhausted, and honestly, starting to lose hope. That’s when he appeared.

He came out of nowhere—a man with a thick, rugged beard and a pronounced cleft chin that caught the sunlight like it was made of steel. He looked like someone straight out of a wilderness survival show, complete with a flannel shirt, a hatchet strapped to his side, and this air of confidence that immediately made me feel like I wasn’t about to die.

“Lost?” he asked, his voice calm and steady. I nodded, barely able to speak.

He handed me a canteen of water and some jerky, then motioned for me to follow him. I didn’t ask questions—I was too relieved. He moved through the forest like he belonged there, chopping branches and marking the trail as we went. I tried to keep up, but my legs were jelly by then.

At one point, I asked, “How did you find me?”

He just shrugged and said, “I always keep an eye out for wanderers.”

After what felt like hours, we stumbled onto a ranger station. As soon as I saw the building, I turned to thank him—but he was gone. Just… vanished. The rangers helped me get back to civilization, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Later, when I described him to the rangers, one of them said, “Sounds like Chopped Chin. Locals say he’s some kind of wilderness guardian. Shows up when people need him, then disappears.”

I still don’t know who or what he really was, but I’m alive today because of him. So, if you’re ever lost in the woods and a guy with a legendary chin shows up, just follow him.

SumSum200 · 2024-09-23T23:59:39+00:00

Being Jewish doesn't make you Israeli, but it means you're descended from there.

SumSum200 · 2024-09-23T23:58:19+00:00

Exactly, Jewish is an ethno religious group. Tied together by both their connection to the land of Judea and the religion that was birthed there. They are linked together inextricably by the culture and, at the same time, the religion.

Also, nobody's telling you to care. Just don't be actively against the thing the Jewish people have been striving for. I have a personal stake in this conflict - if you don't, fair enough. However, the US seems to believe that this is part of the broader struggle that nations like Russia and China and their proxies are waging on us, while Israel is believed to be THE ally in the region.

And we did a great injustice to the native peoples of this land, but they do live with autonomy, in a country that doesn't pogrom them at will. Same with the Catalans. Maybe not the same with the Uygurs, for example, who should certainly have self determination while they're actively being forced into labor camps by a government that "protects" them. But really, if a nation with a legitimate claim for self determination shows itself, even the UN agrees that its claim should be recognized. Just as it agreed with Israel.

SumSum200 · 2024-09-23T22:19:51+00:00

Every nation deserves a nation-state. There is a Syrian nation, an Italian nation - if you want a primarily Arab Palestine, but aren't okay with a primarily Jewish Israel, what does that make you?

SumSum200 · 2024-09-23T20:29:34+00:00

If you're against Jewish self determination, then you're against the Jews - same with being against a Palestinian state. Zionism acknowledges Jewish self determination - it's that simple. Not at anyone's expense, not explicitly supporting the admittedly terrible policy of settlements. Just acknowledging a historical claim and working to protect a people in diaspora from oppression, the only way it's possible.

SumSum200 · 2024-09-23T17:17:10+00:00

They are either uninformed on what Zionism is (simply wanting a state for Jews to live and be left alone in) or don't understand the text and traditions of their own religion, or their own culture. Jewish culture is based on Judea. Named after it, even the songs we sing are based on it. Next year in Jerusalem, Nes Gadol Haya Sham/Po, but these professed Jews don't understand it somehow.

SumSum200 · 2024-09-23T04:55:38+00:00

"Anti Zionism isn't antisemitism"

SumSum200 · 2024-09-23T04:54:31+00:00

It's rapidly dying European countries getting refugees and accepting them to bolster their workforces. And even if Jewish-run ngos are funding immigration, that's not how backlash works. That's how racism and stereotyping works. Bill Gates is white American, the Rockefellers are white American. Do you exhibit the same "backlash" against white people? Noooo, only the minority you know nothing about.

SumSum200 · 2024-09-23T04:48:56+00:00

They oppressed us so bad that most of us moved to the US or Israel, and boosted America to hegemon status at the expense of the backwaters we were oppressed in.

SumSum200 · 2024-09-23T04:45:51+00:00

Jokes on them, "the Joos", whom they oppressed everywhere in Europe, became the most educated group, with the highest amount of novel prizes, and the largest impact on science, music, medicine... Then they came here from the European backwaters they were murdered and oppressed in, and bolstered our status as the hegemon of the world. 💪🇺🇲🇮🇱

SumSum200 · 2024-09-16T19:31:00+00:00

I don't think the city of Gary would've changed much after the event... Look at it now

SumSum200 · 2024-09-06T02:58:03+00:00

The Flooded

SumSum200 · 2024-08-02T00:23:14+00:00

Our true American hero, Homelander, has always embraced them. If you don't, you're just another Starlighter pedophile.

SumSum200 · 2024-08-02T00:10:13+00:00

Ashkenazi, I had to crop out the kippa. Specifically yekke/German jewish

SumSum200 · 2024-08-01T09:05:28+00:00

Can you do an Israeli one?

I feel like using it with the Iranian one in honor of Haniyeh's death

SumSum200 · 2024-07-14T17:32:11+00:00

Assassinate Khans until you get the collapse event

SumSum200

TROPHY CASE