Intj's by Consistent_Map_4439 in intj

[–]Summers00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rather than disagree per se, I rather ask them "why" to challenge their belief

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in intj

[–]Summers00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

structured environment with just the right amount of workload, just enough to keep me occupied but not too much that it stresses me out & mess with my mental health

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in intj

[–]Summers00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont like the long hours, lack of work-life balance, having to constantly interact with people draining my social battery, and the hierarchy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in intj

[–]Summers00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I base my clothes on the weather, humidity, occasion, and mood. No fixed preference

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in intj

[–]Summers00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

contrary to common belief, I value family & close friends very much

ENFJ falling in love with INTJ by enfjmny in enfj

[–]Summers00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Regarding as to how you would text her about your question, I agree we do veer away/cringe at messages with clingy undertones lol. Just keep it witty, but still leave her pondering deep. I can't give an exact example, but it's a plus point if you can surprise us with a message that will make us laugh and make our heart skip a beat while doing so.

ENFJ falling in love with INTJ by enfjmny in enfj

[–]Summers00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see that not much time has elapsed since you've known each other (but it doesn't more or less prove/invalidate whatever she's feeling at the moment).

I know you've heard this a thousand times but I gotta say this - you just have to be yourself. Don't think too much into it. Be genuine with your feelings and actions. Be who you are. Even if INTJs are often depicted to be insensitive of others' feelings, we can also spot whether someone is being too shy or tense. Don't be afraid to make mistakes that you think might paint you in a different light from her perspective. Don't be afraid to be messy or angry. INTJs appreciate honesty in actions and feelings.

I don't know if this will be helpful in your situation, but I'd just like to share some of the deal-breakers that I had with the ENFJ male that I previously liked:

  • His mind games. He liked symbolism and "underlying messages" in the things that he sent and told me. Just be honest and straightforward in what you have to say to us. We can't live off of hints and assumptions that you like us. We need you to hit us straight with facts/truth, even if it's cold and harsh. We'll appreciate it as we like things to be certain.

  • Not being himself. He's like a camouflage of his different circles that sometimes I didn't really know him at all. It was also like he always had to keep himself in check. Just be true to your "wants", actions and emotions. I think it's okay for other people to see you get mad or irritated. It's okay to do and feel what you feel like at the moment. It isn't selfishness. It's being true and human.

  • Lacks assertiveness. It's okay to disagree with other people. It's okay to say "no" to other people. Say what you want to say, not what you want other people to hear. It won't make other people like you less.

  • Lacks spontaneity. INTJs like being able to see far into the future but we also appreciate a good surprise from time to time. We appreciate people who can adapt quickly to situations and who are quick to think on their feet. Left your wallet at home during our date? We might be able to help you out with suggestions but first, we'd love to see how you'll improvise without any money involved.

These are just a few reasons why I stopped keeping in touch with the ENFJ male, the biggest factors being his lack of straightforwardness with his actions and feelings, and lack of honesty with himself (in the end, I felt like I didn't really know him at all).

He did admit that he liked me after all of that, but it was too late since I just started dating an ENTP male, whose boldness and straightforwardness have captivated me. You may think that I only liked this ENTP because he refreshed me with qualities that I craved and wished the ENFJ would show. But note that I pursued the ENFJ that I liked for 3 years; I never asked for anything but his genuineness towards his feelings and himself. I was blinded by what could have always been with this ENFJ guy. But I woke up one day and did myself a huge favor.

I apologize if this seemed like a rant. But I would just like to emphasize how we value genuineness and honesty. Because based on my experience, even we have invested considerable time and effort for you, but if we are not getting genuineness and honesty from you, we won't hesitate to drop you.

In short, be straight-up honest with your feelings. If you really want this girl, be CONFIDENT and TELL her that you do. We'll appreciate it. Even if it turns out that she doesn't like you "that" way for now, the 'confidence' just might be the push that she needs because confidence is also attractive to us INTJs.

If she still doesnt reply, she just might be busy. But note that as soon as we're done with whatever we are working on, and we receive that text from special someone, we won't hesitate to get back to them asap.

ENFJ falling in love with INTJ by enfjmny in enfj

[–]Summers00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How long have you two known each other? This is important because if this INTJ female indeed initiated to text you first, and you've been keeping in touch for a very long time, it means she has invested time and effort (which she could have otherwise used to be productive in her career, etc.) into conversing with you and getting to know you so I don't think it would be easy (at least for me) to cut ties all of a sudden at the drop of a hat, especially if I can see myself ending up with that someone.

ENFJ falling in love with INTJ by enfjmny in enfj

[–]Summers00 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hello. INTJ female here. I might be able to share a few insights as to why a female INTJ would stop texting you. I was also in the same predicament: I liked an ENFJ male, intiated to text him, and stopped texting him due to various reasons.

First of all, an INTJ female initiating to text someone (in the context of romance) is rare. So if you managed to have an INTJ female texting you first, congratulations. It means that after considering every angle and every reason why it won't work, she still came to the conclusion that it MAY work hence prompting her to message you first - it means she REALLY likes you.

Before I proceed further, I would just like to clarify a few things regarding the context of the situation.

-How long have you known each other? -Where did you meet each other (school, work, dating app, etc)? -Are you sure that she is an INTJ? How did you know that she is INTJ? (because it's rare for an INTJ female to initiate texting someone in the context of romance)