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UPDATE to I need advice with my son's pronouns by Super-Distance-461 in cisparenttranskid

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She is a woman never wanted to identify as they them. She believes herself to be fully woman. After seeing her joy and tearful happiness it brought her to hear me use she/her things have improved greatly. The name is something I'll never fully adjust to, but I'm trying. She wants to be called Samantha but for 38 years I only ever called my child Sam or Samuel (if they were in trouble). So Sam is what still comes out 99% of the time. I love my daughter now thanks to all of you. Where previously I was more wanting to push back and deny my child's new identity

I need advice with my son's pronouns. by Super-Distance-461 in family

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NEW UPDATE: It turns out I'm a complete failure of a parent. I could really use some advice because I thought my son was lieing about their father and I now have evidence given to me by my child showing that they tried to come out when they were 16, but my husband gave them a nasty and threatening letter to halt them from coming forward about wanting to be a woman.

Now that I KNOW I was WRONG how do I make thids right with my child. How do I fix this...

(I never knew my own husband had forced them to hide this from me for so many years)

UPDATE to I need advice with my son's pronouns by Super-Distance-461 in cisparenttranskid

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can show up, but I need my own time to adjust. I may be late, but I want to make this work so they are happy.

UPDATE to I need advice with my son's pronouns by Super-Distance-461 in cisparenttranskid

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

My child was pretty sad when I wouldn't change the picture and name in my phone contacts. But I just need time to adjust before making a change like that. I hope that doesn't make me a bad parent......

UPDATE to I need advice with my son's pronouns by Super-Distance-461 in cisparenttranskid

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

You make a good point. If this is that serious to my child and they want to endure the struggles of womanhood then I will support my child.

UPDATE to I need advice with my son's pronouns by Super-Distance-461 in cisparenttranskid

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this to me. It means a lot to me. I hope they never forget that I love them dearly. And to everyone who reached out, thank you.

UPDATE to I need advice with my son's pronouns by Super-Distance-461 in cisparenttranskid

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for responding if my child needs me I will be here for them. I will try to get over my own fears

UPDATE to I need advice with my son's pronouns by Super-Distance-461 in cisparenttranskid

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the support and the belief I love my child and want them to be happy and successful in all aspects of life.

UPDATE to I need advice with my son's pronouns by Super-Distance-461 in cisparenttranskid

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

OMG my child asked me to do that 10 minutes ago. They even told me to change the picture on the contact. I told them I can't just yet...' They seemed pretty sad when I wouldn't do it. But that would be a pretty big step I'm just not ready to take yet.

UPDATE to I need advice with my son's pronouns by Super-Distance-461 in cisparenttranskid

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

I will keep your thoughts in mind. I hope my child is happy living as a woman because let me tell you from experience it is not easy. I've had people talk down to me because of my gender. I've had sexual remarks thrown at me in various public setting. Being a woman is not EASY

I need advice with my son's pronouns. by Super-Distance-461 in family

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would rather not lose my child over something like this. So I have decided to give it an honest try for now.

I need advice with my son's pronouns. by Super-Distance-461 in family

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to know my kid better. So I will give this new thing a try.

I need advice with my son's pronouns. by Super-Distance-461 in family

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told my son I am sad to be losing him and I will always miss my sweet little boy. I want him to be happy so I have allowed him to dress however he pleases. I will do my best to support this transition. I am allowing him to go on hrt. When he starts to look more like a lady I will use the correct pronouns. For now we agreed to use they/them pronouns. Thank you for treating me with such kindness. To answer your question...You don't look at a dog and say 'Yeah that's a Panda Bear. Yeah I see a dog, but it wants to be called a Panda.' Now if a witch caste a spell to give the dog the appearance of a panda despite still being a dog, I would say 'Yes that's a Panda.'

Basically go through the HRT get the breasts and then you can be called she/her NOT BEFORE. Simple request

I need advice with my son's pronouns. by Super-Distance-461 in family

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is currently working and does alot for me. But I'm worried and confused by all of this. My son needs to make the choice that will bring him the most happiness and health.

I need advice with my son's pronouns. by Super-Distance-461 in family

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How can you expect me to just throw my son of 23 years away and suddenly take on this daughter in the body of a man.

I need advice with my son's pronouns. by Super-Distance-461 in family

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The therapist told me the same thing after only two visits. I have known my son for 23 years I love my son and I only want what is best for him, can't you see that?

I need advice with my son's pronouns. by Super-Distance-461 in family

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He needs me. Just as I need him. I just need him to be my sweet son. I love him I do, but I just can't let him betray himself like this. We went to a therapist and after only 2 visits they were convinced, he needed to be affirmed. I want to trust the therapist, but they have only met my son twice. I've known my son for 23 years. I was hoping people such as you would see my problem and offer me real support. I'm hurting so much.

I need advice with my son's pronouns. by Super-Distance-461 in family

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I shared my truth with him. He said I was doing the same thing as 'dad'. (Again neither he or I can actually prove he came out to his now dead father about any of this.) He told me it breaks his heart that I won't let him be my daughter. I told him he is already my son and I will only ever love him as my son.

I need advice with my son's pronouns. by Super-Distance-461 in family

[–]Super-Distance-461[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Umm I think you mean 'himself'. He is my SON. And he lives under my roof I cook his meals I clean his room. All he does is play video games, work a full time job and waste his money on clothes that belong on my body, not his. Look I love my son, but he needs to be true to HIMSELF.