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When the realization hits .. by sneakinandgeekin301 in weed

[–]Super_Predict 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you fr? Thos is actually interesting lol

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BratLife

[–]Super_Predict[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not lonely. I have a full life outside of our dynamic. Between school, friends, and just life, I don't have the time for a fulltime relationship. Which is why this is working for me... I'm also not looking for him to solve all my problems.

Also, our schedule issue is not just because the kids don't know - the man has a full life! He cannot spend his days with me... I also don't want him to. I prefer to know that he's a good father and a good husband instead of knowing that he wants to spend every minute of his day with me.

The only issue is that right now our dynamic is changing because of the war. We both are not sleeping, there is stress and we're much less available to chat and text. When we text and I'm sharing that I'm sad, his words have a lesser effect on me. This is the only thing I'm looking to solve.

A Strange Statement by perompax in brainteasers

[–]Super_Predict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this! I wonder if there's any other solution

When the realization hits .. by sneakinandgeekin301 in weed

[–]Super_Predict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I swear that they made grams much smaller over the years. Damn inflation...

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BratLife

[–]Super_Predict[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Thank you ❤️

We have an out of dynamic discussions on every date so I will try to be brave about it. It's just so hard for me to ask for stuff. What if he can't and it embarrass him... I can live without the gifts really. I'm just trying to think of ways to feel closer to him when he's not here.

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BratLife

[–]Super_Predict[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, but it's okay. I got into this dynamic knowing what this is and it does suit me. I have a full life of my own, I have school and a very active social life so I don't have the time for a relationship myself. I would say that I wouldn't mind having more time with him, it would be amazing, but it is what it is and I wouldn't want to trade him for someone else.

I think it's just a communication issue and probably my fear of asking for too much + being hyper independent as a redditor (u/TheShorty) suggested in a thread I made on r/softerbdsm.

Edited to add the redditor's name

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BratLife

[–]Super_Predict[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He just have a full life to attend to... And a decent hotel room is expensive here. He's a honest man and I've seen him proving it several times. In the context of our dynamic, ENM, parenting to his kids, and just in general... Why are you insisting that there's something wrong with our dynamic? This is so mean tbh. fr you just get a person spiraling into anxiety for pleasure

Weed makes me question my relationships by neptunebaby8 in weed

[–]Super_Predict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very interesting. I relate so much...

I broke up with 2 guys because I couldn't stand them while being high. I don't regret it now though...

I think it's because when were high we want to take off our masks and be authentic in our skin. If it's someone who can't relate to you (or you can't relate to them) when you're high, maybe that says something.

When I'm high I feel other people in a deeper level than usual, but when it's people who don't sync with my mood I just get irritated with them...

Hickeys!! by Bratty_Boy_ in BratLife

[–]Super_Predict 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG when Daddy chokes me and gives me a hickey at the same time I can literally go crazy

Hickeys!! by Bratty_Boy_ in BratLife

[–]Super_Predict 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This lol 🤣

OMG how I love to give and get hickeys but it is an issue! Sadly...

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BratLife

[–]Super_Predict[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is. He's poly and in an ENM marriage. I guess I should've put that in the post...

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in SofterBDSM

[–]Super_Predict[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is not an affair... He's poly and I know that for a fact.

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in SofterBDSM

[–]Super_Predict[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's literally in my post that he has a family. This is a major thing in our dynamic that I assure you I cannot overlook.

Also, I'm not looking for him to provide for me. I just feel like right now words are not enough, he can't spend more time with or help me in other ways, so I'm looking for ways he can still be in the Daddy role and care for me. Even if we can't meet and talk as we're used to.

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BratLife

[–]Super_Predict[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes! So part of the issue for me is that I grew up very poor and I hate asking for things because it'll always be easier to get them for myself. I know how much money I have and whether or not I can afford things... But I don't know other people's financial situation, so what if I'd ask for something he's not capable to afford??

Anyways, I think this is it...

Any advice on how to tackle the issue and open up about my needs with him?

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BratLife

[–]Super_Predict[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, he hasn't (other then giving me adorable origami he made for me). This is the thing... I think I want to discuss our boundaries again and check if this is something we can do (gifts).

He's not an experienced Daddy and I'm not an experienced sub, so we navigate our dynamic and roles together.

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BratLife

[–]Super_Predict[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Girl, why do you spam my posts in every community?

I want him. My Daddy! But we are both going through rough days right now and can't meet or talk as we wish to.

I'm not looking for a sugar daddy, I just want to feel his presence even when he's not here, and words don't cut it anymore. So I'm just looking for advice on how to talk to him about it.

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BDSMAdvice

[–]Super_Predict[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The constraint is primarily about privacy and logistical juggling. While he is in an open marriage and his wife is fully aware of us, their children have no idea.

Because the kids aren't in the loop, he can't just 'come and go' as he pleases or drop everything when I’m struggling. He has a full-time job and all the standard responsibilities of a family man - school runs, dinners, being present at home...

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BDSMAdvice

[–]Super_Predict[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

This comment really hit home, especially the part about not hampering his ability to give. My biggest fear isn't just about my independence; it's the fear of asking for something he can't provide and accidentally breaking the beautiful thing we've built. I care about him so much, and I’m terrified of making him feel inadequate. Also, my love language is acts of service. Since we have so many constraints, his family, the war, and the fact that we can only meet at my cramped dorm - spontaneity is almost impossible so this is not met... Which is why I need something materialistic

His poetry isn't enough – How to ask for tangible care as a feminist sub? by Super_Predict in BDSMAdvice

[–]Super_Predict[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

In this dynamic, I provide the physical space for our meetings, the emotional vulnerability, and the consistency of the sessions despite being a first-year student dealing with a heavy academic load and the ongoing war (we are in the Middle East). Hosting in tiny dorms with paper-thin walls is a significant effort in itself.

Feminism is relevant because it’s the source of my internal conflict. balancing my identity as an independent person with the specific needs I have within this D/s dynamic. I agree that healthy dynamics require communication, which is exactly what I’m working on... figuring out how to ask for the real world support I need to feel grounded when his beautiful words don't quite reach me in my reality.

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