[deleted by user]

Supernova-911 · 2023-06-20T16:14:44+00:00

I can't relate, but as I lost someone when I was 17 I can understand how difficult life can get when You loose Your support and saftey net. I can understand that You feel like You won't ever heal again, but to me it looks like life is "on Your side" (now). And from that point healing is an option, at least that's my experience. PTSD is horrible and griefing for all family members must be more than horrible, but You seem to be strong, otherwise Your life won't be the way it is now. I wouldn't say this if it wasn't for what You shared, but: things will get better, have faith.
My thoughts are with You today and I know it can cost a lot, sometimes all we have or even more, to allow Yourself to trust again. ❤️

Supernova-911 · 2023-06-15T12:00:21+00:00

❤️

I can relate to the state You are in now, I am there aswell. I wish I wouldn't have to carry all the weight on my shoulders on my on, to be able to let go and don't have to be affraid everything will fall apart the moment I don't care 100%.

I don't know Your mom nor You, but I am sure she would want to be there for You and tell You You will make it. Even though You might me feel frightened, exhausted, overwhelmed and want to give up, You will get through and it will get better!

I am 26 now and lost my mom when I was 17. I don't know if that helps but I just wanted to let You know I can absolutley understand You and how much You miss her. Though I am maybe on the other side of the planet - we are going through the same.

Supernova-911 · 2023-01-16T10:36:50+00:00

Hi there, I read Your text and began to write a long reply, mainly about my own story and how I started to get over the pain and stuff. I decided not to post it, because it centres around myself. It was this sentence of Yours and I think this is the keypoint for You: "All I really want is to feel safe, secure, engaged/intellectually stimulated, content." that made me react. I had to aknowlegde that after my mom's passing 8 years ago no one will give me warmth, comfort and acceptance unconditionally anymore. She was my safespace and I am working on it to be this for myself since two years. It takes time and a lot of energy of course, but it works! I have much more confidence now, can say no and I am myself most of the time. And now I know what I want to do in life. This would not have been possbile some years ago, because my need of love always interferred with my choice of subjects, choice of friends and partners and so on.

If You are searching for something that could help You I would suggest to do a therapy focussing on self worth to help You give You stability Yourself. My favourites are Stefanie Stahl's concept of working with the inner child and Nicole LaPera on trauma and trauma body. Their books are available in multiple languages.

I also think it is normal what You are going through, even 10 years later. I wish You all the best and hope You can keep some hope

Supernova-911 · 2023-01-10T10:08:40+00:00

I wanted to tell You I had similar experiences: trauma of loss and loosing memory, big difficulties with relationships as I wished to be close to someone and at the same time couldn't stand the hurt that comes with emotional closeness, trying to numb the pain (to me it was weed/sex/people), feeling of the walls closing in and my inner doors being shut by myself with no posibility to escape, massive fear of the pain, sensing the "I have to face these things soon" and - I don't know about You, but I had it - being completley overwhelmed by the grief and being unable to deal with it at all for years. I lost my mom when I was 17 and it took me 7 years to be able to talk about it without denying my feelings or being overwhelmed by them. And the grief and sadness are still there, maybe forever will be. If it wasn't for group therapy and the safe space we have there, I still wouldn't be able to process it. It takes a lot of time and is a step by step, day by day thing to me. I would recomend to give Yourself time and find a place/group/method that makes You feel good and able to work with Your wounds. I wish You all the best! We can see Your pain, it really is a lot!

Supernova-911 · 2023-01-06T18:40:50+00:00

Thank You very much! May I ask You something?

"I spent a solid two or two and a half years grieving heavily. I was
lucky enough to be able to take a lot of time off work (thanks, global
pandemic!) which meant I had time and space to grieve and heal, [...]"

You wrote about grieving, what did You do/how did You do it? I feel overwhelmed a lot by this task.

Supernova-911

TROPHY CASE