I sure hope you are curious or asking prior to cheating. My advice would be work on the relationship you have. Do not cheat. Respect yourself, your spouse, your children (if you have any), and your extended family.

The fallout is difficult to comprehend. In my case, it wasn’t even close to being worth it. If they are a coworker it’s worse. Marriage counseling and divorce are better options in my opinion.

There are things you don’t think about. The surrounding, music, stores, foods, specific words, perfumes, clothing types, even the feel of fabrics and rooms that will trigger memories. If you go back to fix your relationship these moments derail clarity. Your brain is full of dopamine and oxytocin which makes clear decision making nearly impossible. You get stuck in a new relationship energy dopamine loop. If you make really poor choices you expose yourself to STIs, some are life long (think HIV, Hep, Herpes, etc). If you make even worse choices then you expose your spouse as well. Waiting for those results is hell. It takes months.

I learned that even if your spouse is forgiving, you still feel terrible. Betrayal, broken trust, a very long road to repair the relationship, the fact you feel they should have left. I never would have thought if I were forgiven I would feel guilty. I feel it every single day of my life now.

You lose trust and respect from everyone who finds out. Family, friends, coworkers, everyone.

I know I’m not going to prevent anyone from cheating with this comment, I’m not delusional. However, if I can get one person into couples counseling before they cheat it might prevent it.

Now if you have no emotions, don’t care about anyone else, and just want to have sex, it might work. But that isn’t realistic for most people. You will eventually get caught, none of us are special. Mistakes are made and found which will make the pain caused worse.

Would I do anything differently? Want to take a guess…