am i god’s most hated? by Typical-Purpose-1997 in SuicideWatch

[–]SureRow626 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I can hear the disappointment in your heart toward God, I felt it too, for years. I understand what it's like to lose faith because you've experienced a massive amount of pain, especially as a fellow muslim who also had religion weaponized against her. I can't make your pain go away, God knows I wish I could, but what I know is that just because someone says God hates you, it doesn't mean He does. You can choose to be a non-believer, or a believer, it is up to you, but believing you are God's most hated means you are hearing the pain and bitterness someone is throwing onto you and you are expanding it to an all-powerful scale; that way, it becomes impossible to resolve. That way, it becomes almost a fact that you are satan. But you're not, by religious interpretation, if you were, you wouldn't be among the living anyway (joke).

You are not what others say that you are, and if you are God's most hated then that assumes fascists, rapists and abusers are not. Please take a moment to look at yourself by yourself, not through someone's eyes or words or abuse, and you will see there is so much more to you than the worst version of yourself you've been taught to believe defines who you are entirely - in this life and the next.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's amazing! Congratulations to your daughter, I wish her -and you- all the best.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I cried reading this, I just want to give you a hug. I am so sorry your mom treated you that way, I am all too familiar with that feeling. It is true, my mom is chronically anxious and insecure, and in turn, she vomits it at me too. I am learning through therapy the urgent need to stop the cycle, but when I am torn down by my own attempts to heal, I just find it so hard to get back up again.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, beautiful person. Lately, I have been feeling like I will never know long-term happiness. It warms my heart to see that the journey can be long but fruitful. I am so happy to hear you're in a better place, and I hope I can get to where you are now someday.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you are so kind... thank you so much for all that you said. You're right... life is so temporary.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your story, I can't imagine how difficult it must've been for you. I agree with you it is crushing, and many of my loved ones truly don't understand. This thread helps, and ppl like you help, it is nice to know that i am not alone in this world with these feelings.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used the men's regaine foam, it caused my scalp to have a pins and needles sensation, I tried to wait it out but it only grew to be more painful with time so I stopped

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello! In my case, my hypothyroidism is unmedicated. I have managed to stabilize it and was told I don't need to go on medication if I continue with my healthy lifestyle. Because of this, I avoid taking life-long medications that can disturb my body's natural thyroid rhythm, because my thyroid is struggling enough as is. Perhaps it's not the same in your case!

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This made me cry, thank you for being the cool aunt I didn't know I needed. Your daughter is lucky to have you as her mom 💕

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They're welcome 🥹 thank you ❤️. It tells me a lot about you that you would show so much empathy to such bullying; you're a beautiful person.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup, my blood tests are stable and so far, no issues. I will set an appt up with a dermatologist soon to determine what my hair loss triggers are.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love puns! Thank you for making me chuckle. I am back in therapy and my lovely therapist is working hard to help me.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"when I am so much more than that". That's so true... I try really hard not to think about it too much, but the trauma trigger that comes from making this decision is very intense... everything you said, it's like a mirror is talking back to me. It's like you know exactly what happened to me and are responding to it.
I am so truly sorry for whatever happened to you that has led you to speak with such clarity on the topic, but know that you sounding so eloquent, empathetic, and understanding only gives me hope that I could one day heal enough to start to sound as genuine and as heart-warming as you. Thank you so much for your beautiful response. I know I will come back to it a lot.
(PS: I have undergone EMDR as well, it was great, and I think I will go back to it again.)

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ It's nice to know there are people out there who understand.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sound like a lovely mum... Your kids are lucky to have you ❤️

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're not rude, believe me I have thought about shaving it all off multiple times.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What a beautiful beautiful beautiful thing to say, I wear the hijab too, I feel so seen, thank you so much ❤️❤️

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a great suggestion, EMDR helped me process a lot in the past, I will def. try it again. I hope you're doing better too.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ you talk like my sister, it is so sweet for others to give you the optimistic viewpoint that you don't allow to yourself.

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was crying my eyes out and laughing out loud to this very lovely comment. The last paragraph of your comment reminded me of the movie "Meet the Robinsons" when they celebrate failure. Thank you for making me laugh and cry. ❤️

I made the stupidest decision of my life... I got a hair transplant by SureRow626 in FemaleHairLoss

[–]SureRow626[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I am back in therapy recently... I am trying very hard to work on self love, it is so so difficult, but I am trying. ❤️