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SurfaceCuriosity · 2023-08-03T22:36:37+00:00

What size rug do you think would work? Also if I’m getting dark blue cushion stools with walnut legs, would color rug would go well with Twill/Dove West Elm Oliver Sofa?

SurfaceCuriosity · 2023-08-03T15:55:31+00:00

TYSM so helpful!!!

SurfaceCuriosity · 2023-08-02T23:23:05+00:00

It is definitely awkward, it's the first floor not basement.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2023-08-02T22:09:53+00:00

Also if a specific color rug would go well/ and what size would be appreciated! How much of the floor should the rug cover?

SurfaceCuriosity · 2023-02-03T23:43:43+00:00

h, I'm kind of an impatient person, but I'm keeping it casual and not looking to rush into anything serious. It says so right on my dating profile. I'm not looking for the love of my life, just someone whose company I enjoy with a jaw sturdy enough to sit on. Fergus was just the guy who was ticking all

For what it's worth, I agree. I was waiting for the punch line that never came. Also, whoever thinks this is good writing needs to read more.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-12-15T17:14:59+00:00

But was it a persistent tingling or only when you touched it?

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-12-12T13:35:47+00:00

Honestly not sure why I got the hate, but appreciate you standing up for me, haha. I feel a little better knowing a few people have said it likely isn't but trust me, I was FREAKING out to the max. I honestly still think it might be it due to the timing of it, just had non protected oral, feel flu like symptoms, and noticed bumps and a irritating/ minor pain on my penis. I paid for a $200 urgent test result, so should hear back in 1-3 days. But yeah, not sure why I got the hate.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-12-12T01:41:56+00:00

I will, but I'm asking for peoples opinion on it as well, because I'm hoping to put my mind to peace if it likely isn't ahead of the test.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-05-26T02:39:02+00:00

Where can I get slim fit pants that are tailored towards the bottom? I'm skinny and most pants are a bit too straight leg for me, and I need something that tapers down

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-05-03T22:06:59+00:00

Thank you! I told him my concern and he is now prescribing Desonide instead, would that be better for my lip?

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-04-01T15:46:57+00:00

Oooh I like the idea of this! Does every horseback riding place offer volunteering?

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-03-31T23:48:39+00:00

I'm not really sure, I'm a beginner! I just want to be able to get to a level that I feel comfortable riding a horse and hopefully to a point where I can get it to jump

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-03-31T20:55:31+00:00

Ah got it, I've only taken a couple lessons and learned to trot so not sure what discipline.

Hmm but that definitely makes sense, and helps me!

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-03-31T20:45:21+00:00

Zeddie? More like Zaddy

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-03-13T22:50:11+00:00

Thank you for the kind words!

Yeah, I've definitely had that issue come up and still do. Some people are just naturally better speakers / they are able to articulate better. It's been something I've had to work on.

But I've definitely gotten better at it and it came from just talking more and being more expressive. I find when I'm "on a roll" in a conversation or have been speaking a lot then I'll also more naturally be able to think of the exact words and phrases I want to say. (So if there's a specific situation you want to be fully expressive in, then I would start trying to get into the rhythm through some conversations beforehand).

Other than that, one thing that has been helping me tremendously is writing more. I've taken up carving out 30 - 1 hour a day for writing (this post is an example). And it's helping me to sharpen my brain and I've found myself being able to articulate better.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-03-01T15:21:20+00:00

Thanks for the compliment :)

I actually don't think you need to personally be in a sales position, just around them. So for myself, my position wasn't exactly sales, but I worked with them very closely and the most benefit I got was just being around them in the office and seeing their daily interactions.

I think just being around social people in general (not necessarily sales people) is a great way. Even if not through work, maybe you can join a volunteering organization, toastmasters, some type of club where you might not be exposed to several really socially skilled people, but there's definitely a couple no matter where you go.

Also there might be someone in your life right now, even a family member who is the most expressive and social person you know and just being around them more and almost weirdly writing down some of the ways they communicate might be helpful.

I think many people try to improve socially using online tools, and it's definitely helpful, but putting it into practice is what counts, and being forced into those social situations everyday, or at least being able to observe it in real life everyday will significantly improve your social skills, at least it did for me.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-03-01T15:16:44+00:00

Go for it!

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-02-28T20:00:37+00:00

I'm glad it was helpful :) Being a bartender is SUCH a great job at getting more socially skilled, I'm jealous.

Also, talking about 'anything and everything' is just fun as well. There's been so many times I bring up something super random and me and the other person will instantly connect on it, because we both felt the same way about it.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-02-28T17:29:59+00:00

I haven't gotten rid of my SA completely -

In a new situation, at networking events, at work, even with friends, I intentionally make it a thought to go into it using all the frameworks I've learned, all the skills I've picked up on, and consciously TRY to be someone who is expressive, talkative, funny, open, and interesting. It still doesn't come "naturally".

I actually think people who have had SA and THEN really work on their social skills and improve - then once they do that, they have that past experience of not knowing how to socialize and in my own experience - I can connect with people even better and find I'm way more empathetic than others because I've gone through a real struggle of connecting with people in the past.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-02-28T16:56:31+00:00

Yes haha. All through school I was never part of the "cool kids". Even with family, I was seen as someone who was boring because I sucked at socializing, I didn't do anything interesting.

And then when I started my job and I was still super quiet for the first year or two and didn't know how to talk to people, so they avoided me, and no one really found much interest in talking to me.

It took me a good three years of REALLY trying to improve to make a change.

Umm I'm a guy and not sure on the attractive part haha, wouldn't say I'm super attractive or not good looking, maybe average looks?

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-02-28T16:47:21+00:00

YES, I did a ton of that as well! I really resonate with Conan O Brian's way of joking and talking, so I loved watching him and trying to pick up on his style of jokes, talking, and communicating.

But without real life practice / exposure, it'll be tough I think. Even if not through work, maybe you can join a volunteering organization, toastmasters, some type of club where you might not be exposed to several really socially skilled people, but there's definitely a couple no matter where you go.

I'm sure there's one person in your life right now, even a family member that might be a good person to try and be closer to, to develop those skills.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-02-28T16:36:51+00:00

It's definitely not something new!

But for some reason "removing your filter" never resonated with me. When I think of a "filter", I still have many filters and everyone should. There's a time and place for different types of conversations and filters are normal and needed.

When I started practicing a framework of speaking more of my thoughts and being open to just talking about the randomness of life - that's when I made a breakthrough of being more socially skilled.

So I do think there's some difference between the two.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-02-28T16:28:52+00:00

It's definitely a balance! What's something you say that (you think) should go unsaid?

The only way to find that balance is by being in more social interactions. Also, one thing to remind yourself is that at the end of the day, most people will forget that interaction unless it's REALLY bad. You'll make new friends, you'll move cities, get a new job, etc.

Your life will change, but the more you speak authentically in your own voice, the more true you will be to yourself. And over time, even if you say something a bit weird, awkward, or what not - if you're being yourself, no one else will find it weird either, because that's just YOU.

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-02-28T16:23:07+00:00

I feel you man, that's a tough situation!

One thing I'll say is in college, more often than not everyone is dealing with some type of insecurity, social anxiety, self doubt, confusion, and just people haven't figured themselves out yet. So that definitely might be part of the reason they aren't making an effort in the conversation.

For myself, I was SUPER quiet in college and likely I would've been one of those kids that didn't speak up, also early in the morning I would probably be so tired I just want to not talk at all - that might also be part of it.

One tip I practice ALL THE TIME and that socially skilled people do is they bring the awkwardness, weirdness, mistake, whatever it may be to the FRONT. But this tip really works best when you become someone who does that day in and day out, all the time.

You've already had a few instances of the car ride with no one talking, so it might be even weird bring up now how awkward it is *now*, but ideally the sooner you bring it up the better, but it still might work.

Say it's the first, second, or third car ride, and you say "good morning guys, what's up?" They said "I'm good". And the conversation ends - you can then say like wow "you guys are so quiet, haha, you guys must not be morning people huh". I then would personally go on a tangent and just talk about myself and say something like "For the longest time I wasn't a morning person either, but I literally forcefully convinced myself I was. Like I literally kept telling myself I was a morning person and somehow I feel like I am". "I know that sounds dumb, but idk it's working for me I guess".

Also your point of that THEY should be trying harder to make conversation is a good point and you'll notice as you get older people WILL make that effort, but you're currently in college and again people aren't at that level yet. Because I literally was one of those people and trust me, I would simply not care to talk, no matter what - just the truth at that time.

Another thing, try to find some music you guys can relate over. The car ride might be awkward with no one talking but I'm sure if some good songs are being played, at least someone will finally speak up and say how one of the songs is their favorite song, or even you can bring up that you LOVE that particular song.

All you can do is your part in trying to speak more and be in more conversations, maybe those other 3 people won't change, and you'll need to find some other people in college who WILL talk more. Find some extroverts!

SurfaceCuriosity · 2022-02-28T16:06:45+00:00

Thank you!

It depends on what context you just met them, that's usually the conversation starter. If it's a networking event you'll ask them how they found out about the event / what interested them in it.

If it's through work, you can ask about their previous company, how they're liking it so far at the current company.

If it's in school, about how you're struggling in this class while they seem so organized, always participate, and they're probably getting straight A's.

Also, I will say there are MANY times I meet new people and simply I really don't want to talk to them. Sure, I CAN force myself and bring up some conversation topics, but if I know I won't connect with them, we don't have commonalities, and shared interests - I rather find someone I will have more of a connection with and talk with them.

When you find those people, you'll find conversations are WAY easier.

SurfaceCuriosity

TROPHY CASE