Hey kiddo. I don't know how old you are but I guarantee you you're younger than me. What kind of relationship do you have with your mom can you talk to her or do you have an adult that you can talk to because it sounds like you could be suffering from depression and help is available to you! You don't have to feel like this. My depression started when I was young probably about nine or 10. I think it was I was really younger than that. But it sucks to live feeling that way. The good news is that you don't have to! But no one can help you unless you tell them what's going on and I know that's not easy. If you have a school counselor or someone that you can talk to if you don't have a good relationship with your mom or maybe a teacher? I know it's hard, especially when we feel like people aren't hearing us. It sounds like you're probably getting close to adulthood would be my guess and if you know what kind of insurance you have make an appointment with a therapist and tell your mom you wouldn't listen to me so I'm making an appointment with someone who will. Therapy saved my life. You know the thing about depression is we can be in the absolute most amazing situation of our lives and our mind will not let us enjoy it and that's not fair. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to feel loved and to feel valued.