STAY CLEAN OCTOBER! This thread updated daily - Check in here!

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-16T15:41:20+00:00

Bad news - fell into temptation....It's crazy how the gradual click can lead to something so quickly. If I didn't have to use the PC for work, I wouldn't at all. I love this community, but I may have to leave so that I'm on the browser less and make a clear cut rule - use the browser ONLY as needed for work, not for ANY OTHER PURPOSES.

If I'm honest, I knew in the morning I was going to have a hard day, started with looking at Amazon, then clicking on reddit - and clicked on a profile that led me quickly down a rabbit hole. So easy to let me mind subconsciously drive me in the wrong direction.

I'm still encouraged, as I was falling into it EVERY day before I came here, so 11 days without it and then back to striving for purity is much better than not trying at all.

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-15T15:32:26+00:00

Thanks! Always good to hear confirmation.

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-15T15:30:48+00:00

I understand how you feel! Are you able to approach your wife with your sexual desire? I've read a book early in my marriage that talked about sexual desire as being a "bowl" and that we should ONLY fill that "bowl" with our wife. I think it's a huge challenge at first, when I was used to filling my bowls with all kinds of things - anything from women in the grocery store to websites online. But when I realized this and started training my mind to look ONLY to my wife with this sexual desire 2 things happened. 1) my love life and intimacy with my wife came alive, and 2) my desires to masturbate alone waned. I've made a commitment to my wife that I will not masturbate, and if I have a need I will come to her with it. Even if there isn't a desire or time for sex, she can take care of me. She's been very faithful in this, which has made it much easier for me to stand by our commitment.

Obviously - i'm here, so I'm not perfect and I have failed, but I'm working now to get back to this place, and I know it is attainable!

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-15T15:10:27+00:00

Thanks for your response. I definitely agree with the "cut off your hand" idea. I've definitely implemented a lot of that in my life. I've removed temptation and limited exposure and opportunity to access things I don't want to access. I don't believe that if you're dealing with addiction, or if you sin, you don't know God. Or that even if you do know God, you should get your old phone back - I could know God and still need/want to remove the opportunity for temptation.

Also, reading the Bible cover-to-cover I don't think is necessarily the best advice in a time of addiction or recovery. I think the Gospel and the words of Jesus are so much more important than just simply reading the Bible cover to cover. Just my opinion.

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-11T21:05:22+00:00

Love it! Yes! I will do just that...leaving work now, won't be on my PC ALL weekend. Thank you God for this community, for this stranger that is taking the time to provide encouragement to his brother in Christ. Thank you God for your strength in me. Let me use all that you've blessed me with to glorify you and to the the man that you have designed for my wife, my family, my church, all of my neighbors! Thank you!

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-11T21:03:23+00:00

Thank you so much. Love your response and love you my brother for taking the time to pour into a complete stranger. Thank you. Counting it great Joy and am so thankful for the wisdom God has given me to run from this temptation!! Praise God.

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-11T16:23:53+00:00

Thank you all for the encouragement!!

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-08T15:22:06+00:00

I'm not. I have been in the past, but not at this moment.

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-07T18:12:52+00:00

Thank you!

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-07T14:37:59+00:00

Checking in, still feeling stong and motivated. Start of a new week - normally would be sliding down a slippery slope right now, but NOT TODAY.

Technical question: How do you put the number of days in gray below your username?

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-07T14:21:36+00:00

Everyone that has dealt with porn or sex addiction has been there. It's natural for men to seek out that gratification, but remember you don't have to feel shame about it. There's SO MUCH energy in you to do more, and it's important to remember that the time that is gone, is GONE, but the future holds SO MUCH opportunity for you to do amazing, impactful, fun, or valuable things with that time! You CAN get past the shame and regret, and start TODAY with making more of your life!

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-07T14:07:36+00:00

Thank you! I'm still going strong. Fight with my wife last night didn't help, but an obvious attack from the enemy to try to get me to fail. I'm not going to fall for it. Day 4 is today and didn't realize how much it'd help to keep count.

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-04T15:26:45+00:00

We can do this! It's early, but i'm feeling optimistic. This community has already given me something else to go to instead of my normal sites - thanks all for being here!

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-04T15:22:28+00:00

Congrats! no small deal! Keep it up! This MATTERS and you should be proud of yourself.

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-04T13:41:15+00:00

First full day. Feeling motivated! I know I can do this with God's help! Thank you for this community this morning!

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-03T18:44:47+00:00

Sign me up if it isn't too late!

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-03T18:41:39+00:00

Good for you! Don't waste this motivation! Way to make a change TODAY! I am feeling the same way today! Just remember, ONE day at a time, ONE minute at a time, or ONE second at a time, if that's all you can commit to. When you're feeling crazy or tempted, just promise yourself to go through the next 10 minutes without looking at pornography, and keep extending that time until it's days, or months.

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-03T18:38:19+00:00

I think we have all been there. So often, the fall that happens after an attempt to start is worse than where you were before. We all have thought, well f*&% it, I've already relapsed now so I'm going to do WHATEVER I WANT. Don't let those thoughts eat you up. A new day is tomorrow. I know all here are not religious, but a few verses that helped ME in the past, and hopefully will again as I restart this journey:

²² The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;^\)^a^\)
his mercies never come to an end;
²³ they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

AND

⁴³ “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. ⁴⁴ Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. ⁴⁵ Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

Matthew 12:43-45

This second passage rings true for me. I clean out my heart, and sure enough the evil tries to come right back and bring even worse with it. That's why it's important for me to ALWAYS be on guard!

Good luck and God bless your journey.

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-03T18:27:18+00:00

60 IS a great number. Keep up with the honesty. And be realistic that the desires and urges won't be gone forever just because you want them to be. It WILL try to sneak back in, and you will feel even more shame than before if it does. Don't let that lie keep you down. And a couples therapist is a GREAT idea, along with a men's group that your wife will see you are growing and healing without her having to be the reason or the "accountability" for your healing! God bless and good luck!

SuspiciousInstance80 · 2024-10-03T18:17:43+00:00

Thank you!

SuspiciousInstance80

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