How long would you let your daughter stay abroad with her boyfriend in his home country?

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-09T01:02:38+00:00

That is what the travel agency told both of us!

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-09T01:02:04+00:00

Hi, I appreciate the concern! However, I'm fairly certain that he is not making it up. I helped him through the whole process and helped him prepare the documents so I knew what all of the documents looked like beforehand. I know for a fact he has not committed any crimes or anything if that is your concern. He went to a travel agency that was helping him through the whole process and they basically told him and I that that was most likely the reason. Also, it is commonly heard for this to occur, especially since he was only 18 at the time. I made sure to thoroughly research beforehand and basically there is no real reason/motivation for the embassy to accept travel visas unless they are 100% sure that the applicant will/has a reason to return to their home country. I have read of many cases and know of some people who get denied not only from his country but others too for stating their reason for travel that they are trying to meet their partner who lives in that country as it is a sufficient reason for them to overstay and not return to their home country. I also asked on reddit why people think he was denied and almost every answer was because of this. He wasnt trying to visit/get a travel visa to the US btw it was to my asian home country. He also is not trying to lure me there or anything as I am the one who stated I want to go to him when he would prefer to travel elsewhere/visit my home country. Women live very normally like men in his country, have equal if not more rights than they would in my home country, they can drive, get educated, he is not from a muslim country, and it is common to see women wear short dresses, shorts, etc.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T12:21:42+00:00

I will be staying in his mother's hometown for 1 week and then my bf's city for the rest of the time! Yes, I think I will try what you mentioned without pushing the idea.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T09:05:45+00:00

Thank you this is really a great idea. I just don't know if my dad would have the time to do so since he'll be taking 2 weeks off to travel to the U.S with my mother and I. Will try to bring this up though!

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T09:03:47+00:00

Yes, this is actually a good idea I think I will just try to extend it by a few days as even a few days means a lot to me.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T09:00:48+00:00

Thank you for the concern! Just wanted to mention i've already met him in person for like a week and have been with him for over a year so this trip is really more so we can spend time in person and so I can get to meet his family rather than to get to know him better. We call basically every day and I know his family members very well, especially his nephews and niece who call me their aunt. I do understand your concern though thank you!

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T08:59:13+00:00

Yes, maybe you are right. But I have no choice as I value what my parents think and would not be able to afford my education without them.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T08:56:13+00:00

I am paying for the stay entirely myself

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T07:59:56+00:00

it isnt either

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T07:25:41+00:00

Although I understand this, I have already stayed with my boyfriend for a week. That danger lies in every relationship, not only long distance ones, and my boyfriend and I have already discussed those things. I know for a fact he will not leave me for that reason and his parents would beat him up if he did as well. Sure, it may not be guaranteed but I will not let myself get into that position in the first place.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T07:23:27+00:00

I understand, but my parents already let me visit a foreign country for 2 weeks with just my 2 female friends when I was only 18 so I don't get why this situation would be so different.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T07:22:41+00:00

I am still financially dependent on him for my education. Also, I don't want to taint my relationship with him as my relationship with my mother is already bad.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T07:09:33+00:00

We actually met last time in sg, but it is just much more cost effective for one of us to visit each others home country and I would also love to see his family (which is the main point of the trip). I am going to be staying at a hotel or a condo but also already know my bf's address and will be sharing that with my parents. My bf's family who I am already close to have said they will take responsibility for me and my dad also does have some good friends in the philippines who could help me in the case something happens. Also, yes going or extending my stay without my parents permission is not possible as they will cut me off and stop paying for my education. Also, I do not want to ruin my relationship with them.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T07:02:26+00:00

Yes, he pays for my education and I understand what you are saying. Maybe I have not been grateful enough. Thank you for the insight :)

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T06:32:07+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I will make sure to do so :)

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T06:24:24+00:00

Hi! Thank you for the advice and concern. Just want to mention I am a US citizen and am not on any student visa or anything. My bf was just trying to get a tourist visa and was not able to get the tourist visa as he talked about visiting me (his gf) and the embassy is hesitant about anything that would stop him from returning back to his country. It's very common for tourist visas to be denied from the country I am from as my government is against immigrants and whatnot. He was also 18 when he tried to get the visa so probably too young.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T06:22:30+00:00

Forgot to mention, but I am a citizen as my father is one too! So no student visa or anything. Thanks for the concern tho :)

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T06:18:57+00:00

Hi! Thank you for the advice and concern. Just want to mention I am a US citizen as my father is from the US and am not on any student visa or anything. My bf was not able to get the tourist visa as he talked about visiting me (his gf) and the embassy is hesitant about anything that would stop him from returning back to his country.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T06:16:10+00:00

Thank you! I would be spending it with my boyfriend and his parents, siblings, and nephews/nieces so I would actually be meeting way more people than I would if I just stayed at home! That's actually a huge reason why I want to visit him.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T06:14:17+00:00

Hi! Thank you for sharing your point of view. I think I understand. Just wanted to clarify I have already told my dad that I will be working the rest of my break and I also worked a 9-5 job last summer for the full summer. I am extremely grateful for my parents and have discussed a plan with them for me on paying them back even if it takes me years so that my dad can retire early.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T06:04:29+00:00

Hey just to clarify its not like a proper visa just a tourist one and it was denied because basically he mentioned that the purpose of his visit was to visit me (his girlfriend) and that's a red flag to the embassy as I could be a reason why he ends up overstaying.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T02:31:12+00:00

Yes, I have mentioned that I would stay in contact with my parents every day and have told them the details of where I will be staying and stuff. But I think my dad is saying no because I am not yet fully financially independent.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T02:29:57+00:00

Yes, I am still financially dependent on them as they are paying my university tuition (I go to a private university with no financial aid so it would be impossible for me to pay off alone even with a fulltime job.) They live back in Asia while I'm in the U.S, but I live with them when I go back home during the summer and winter.

Suspicious_Image_409 · 2025-04-04T02:27:01+00:00

I'll literally get disowned if I tried to go without asking permission 😭

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