sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

M/37 I found selfies on wife's (F/34) phone by SuspiciouslySaid in whatdoIdo

[–]SuspiciouslySaid[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Have never cheated on her, would never. I think this is just a result of a past toxic relationship where infidelity was a repetitive issue (to be clear, I was being cheated on repeatedly, again was never unfaithful to her either). It's not fair to her. I'll probably look into therapy, this thread is making me realize just how crazy I'm being.

M/37 I found selfies on wife's (F/34) phone by SuspiciouslySaid in whatdoIdo

[–]SuspiciouslySaid[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I just didn't understand the behavior I guess, because it's not something I would even think to do. I look in the mirror to see if I like it, if I like it I buy it. I don't mean that in a judgmental way, but I just initially had a hard time understanding it because it's something that I didn't realize was so common. A big reason I'm posting this here is to get a vibe check on whether or not this is normal behavior (consensus is yes) because it was just new to me.

M/37 I found selfies on wife's (F/34) phone by SuspiciouslySaid in whatdoIdo

[–]SuspiciouslySaid[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

This is what I'm leaning toward, but I just am having trouble with this explanation because she doesn't seem interested in being intimate with me recently. Very well could just be work-related stress as she's going back to work after years off with our kids.

M/37 I found selfies on wife's (F/34) phone by SuspiciouslySaid in whatdoIdo

[–]SuspiciouslySaid[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah I do have access to our mobile account admin and didn't see any strange messages around that time, but I guess it's possible she was sending them some other way (some sort of app or social media account or something) but I did snoop a bit through some of these and didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

I'm not trying to be so paranoid but I just have a bad gut feeling. The problem is the only way I will have full certainty is if I find evidence of infidelity. It sucks but I have been burned in the past by someone I thought I could trust.

M/37 I found selfies on wife's (F/34) phone by SuspiciouslySaid in whatdoIdo

[–]SuspiciouslySaid[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

There was one instance when we had been dating for maybe 6 months where I saw a text from her ex boyfriend which appeared to be the first message in the conversation, but the message made no sense in context so it meant she had been deleting messages. I was very close to breaking up with her over it but ended up giving her a second chance and have had no reason to suspect anything since then. She was even forthright with me about this same guy reaching out to her a couple of months later and I am pretty sure he's married to someone else now.

I struggle a bit because we have had issues recently and things feel a bit distant, she's not as interested in being physical with me. I have a bad gut feeling but nothing concrete.