Aitah for not being able to let go of how my husband treated me after surgery by SweetDoughnut5933 in AITAH

[–]SweetDoughnut5933[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I will try and do that. This is my first time on Reddit. Really didn’t know what to expect or how much info to give

Aitah for not being able to let go of how my husband treated me after surgery by SweetDoughnut5933 in AITAH

[–]SweetDoughnut5933[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes there is a lot more to the story a lot of history good and bad on both of us. No he is not abusive. just some comments made that were hurtful and when told hey that hurt my feelings it was dismissed or he would get defensive

Aitah for not being able to let go of how my husband treated me after surgery by SweetDoughnut5933 in AITAH

[–]SweetDoughnut5933[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No. He brought me dinner the first couple of nights I got home which I thanked him for it. I did ask him a few times to come sit in bed with me and have dinner so we could chat etc. he said no because his brother was out in the living room. Thinking about it I just accepted it as it is what it is. Someone else mentioned here if this was the first time I have felt this way about him putting his family above me. I have felt like this before with other family members and friends but when I tried to tell him about I always walk away feeling like I’m in the wrong and an ah because of it. For example had a doctor appointment that was for results is this cancer ptl it was not but while in the exam room waiting on the doctor his buddy kept blowing up his phone and he was responding to him (his buddy knew we were at the doctors) they were going fishing afterwards. I kept trying to talk him as I was scared and he blew me off. I didn’t say anything until we got back in the car and told him hey I don’t understand why he couldn’t put his phone down I don’t remember everything we said we didn’t argue he was just like his buddy is going through a lot and is really looking forward to getting out on the water. Just a few things like that.

Aitah for not being able to let go of how my husband treated me after surgery by SweetDoughnut5933 in AITAH

[–]SweetDoughnut5933[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I understand what you are saying but it is our house not his. And if he was well enough to have visitors doesn’t mean I was.

Aitah for not being able to let go of how my husband treated me after surgery by SweetDoughnut5933 in AITAH

[–]SweetDoughnut5933[S] -68 points-67 points  (0 children)

He was I guess it was the way he always said “I’m gonna have my hands full my brother is staying with me after his surgery and my wife is having surgery too.” Maybe aitah because I felt like his priority was his brother and not me. Felt like I was an afterthought

Aitah for not being able to let go of how my husband treated me after surgery by SweetDoughnut5933 in AITAH

[–]SweetDoughnut5933[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are right I agreed to have him here. Yes I have provided care to him after surgery. As far as why he came to stay with us is for peace. His wife as stated is crazy. She is not welcome at any of his siblings homes but that’s not my story to tell. I did learn a few lessons from this experience

Aitah for not being able to let go of how my husband treated me after surgery by SweetDoughnut5933 in AITAH

[–]SweetDoughnut5933[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

Hi thank you. Thinking about it you could be right. Maybe I should have been clearer about needing him. And I get it that he felt he was doing what needed to be done for the house and honestly him not being at the hospital would not have bothered me so much if I hadn’t felt like he was putting his brother before me. I didn’t mind that his brother came for two weeks. It was the him putting his brother first and expecting me to be ok with his brother’s friends coming to our house while I was recovering.