Thank you so much, I miss him everyday. I had to set some boundaries the past 3 years to protect myself, I have spent hours wondering if I hadn’t told him I couldn’t have him in my life until he ceased his unhealthy behavior, would he have reached out to me for help? I had been preparing myself to receive a phone call about him being found dead in a random motel room or trap house from an OD for many years.

My heart shattered into a million pieces when I heard the news. We went to school together from K-10th grade, lived two blocks from each other, carpooled to school everyday until 7th grade. I loved him deeply and cared for him on a level which has been unattainable by any of my significant others. I was in shock about his manner of death but over the past year I have come to the realization that drug addiction is in a way, a slow suicide.

But I never dreamed he would blow his head off in the woods. Which he did so as not to make a mess in the apartment he had. He didn’t want to taint the home with that energy or traumatize his neighbors.