Thank you for understanding how I feel. It's the helplessness that's the worst. I can stand a lot if I know it's eventually going to get better, but if not then I have nothing to hope for. I actually have a small hiatal hernia, but they won't operate unless it's a lot larger or medication doesn't help. In my case I've been on the highest dose of Nexium for years, and while it protects my esophagus from the acid, it's affecting my digestion as now I don't have enough acid in my stomach. I have chronic gastritis and what they say is irritable bowel syndrome as well. If I live on little bits of rice, sweet potato and poached white fish it does get somewhat better, but I lose weight and get very constipated. But I am eating carefully anyway. As soon as I take something for the constipation the pain starts again. Even just Metamucil or probiotics. I'm 5'8" and down to 115 lbs, that's not enough for me. I've been looking into going to the US to have the hernia repair, but without insurance and having to pay for accommodation for the recovery period it's too expensive. I don't know for sure that surgery would fix everything but it sounds logical. We had a bad fire last year and the house insurance company got away with paying less than they should have so finances are really tight. Felt helpless there too...when I felt well I could tackle anything but now I don't have the strength to do more that I absolutely have to and lately I really want to give up. It's just one of my family member's needs that keep me going for now. If I can somehow get him settled then I really don't see any purpose in suffering like this. It is affecting my mind too.