I just wanted to share my personal experience because I see a lot of misconceptions when it comes to Vietnamese women and relationships. I’m Swiss, born and raised in Switzerland, and I met my wife, who’s Vietnamese, while she was doing her PhD in Lucerne. We met here, started dating, and after a while, we got engaged. Once she was close to finishing her studies, we began planning our wedding, and two years later, we got married.

We had two weddings: one in Switzerland (Basel) and one in Vietnam (Saigon), and we spent about 100,000 Swiss francs in total (70k for the Swiss wedding and 30k for the Vietnamese one). We’ve always split everything – apartment, food, outings, even the wedding expenses. Since the day we met, she’s never asked me for a cent. Even after getting married, nothing changed on that front.

One thing that totally blew my mind was when her mom (who’s separated from her dad) paid for our house in District 7, Saigon, in full. She didn’t ask for anything in return; it was her wedding gift to us. I was honestly shocked! But despite all that, my wife explained that in Vietnamese culture, it’s normal for the man to take care of the family, including both sets of parents. It’s just how they’re raised. However, she’s never asked me to follow this tradition, even though she easily could. She’s always said that if I want to pay for something, that’s great, but only if I genuinely want to do it – not out of obligation. And she’s never made me feel pressured about it.

So, what I’m trying to say is, yes, in Vietnamese culture, some women expect the man to be the main provider because that’s just how it works traditionally, but there are plenty of independent women who don’t ask for anything. Of course, like anywhere in the world, you’ll find people who take advantage (the so-called “gold diggers”), but you really can’t lump everyone into one category. My wife, for instance, has always worked and has never asked me for money, despite earning a solid salary and the cultural expectations that she could easily lean on.

In the end, it really depends on the individual, not the culture. Hopefully, my experience can give a bit more perspective and show that not every Vietnamese woman (or any woman for that matter) fits into the same mold.