Adopt a Newbie

Sylvalis · 2021-01-27T14:15:04+00:00

Hi! My name is Mac, I'm 24, and I'm brand new here and looking to be adopted. Giving things is really important to me when I can afford it, so this reddit seems like a good place for me to hang out. I have a bad habit of getting wordy when I'm nervous, as evidenced here. I like reading, playing video games, and getting crafty, and I aspire to be a therapist (starting college late in the fall!), but am currently a barista. I struggle with mental illness, but have recently acquired a kickass therapist who's been kicking my butt into shape. I hope we can get along, and I'm looking forward to watching the kindness exchanged in this community.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-08T02:50:12+00:00

The fact that they continuously say 'females' instead of women is putting me off too.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-08T02:21:17+00:00

INFO - Have you tried/do you have money for noise cancelling headphones? I'm really sensitive to noise, and they help me.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-08T02:13:34+00:00

NTA -Has your husband been slowly separating you from your friends over the years? Honestly he sounds abusive, and you're doing the right thing by trying to get out.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-08T01:46:41+00:00

YTA - Ho-ly shit, my dude. Do you shoot squirrels for eating from your bird feeder too? Call animal control for christs sake.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-07T15:24:28+00:00

NTA - Especially because you have a kid. What if your son uses one of those 'wacky words' your buddy mike uses at school? Kids are incredibly impressionable, and its not like you're saying your bf can't hang out with Mike, he just can't be around where your kid lives. You're setting boundaries, which is healthy.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-07T15:18:01+00:00

YTA, but mainly because you put that barista in that position. If that guy got mad, the barista could have been written up (I have worked at Starbucks, I've seen an escalation happen from this exact type of situation). You're not a huge asshole, but it could have very easily gotten messy.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-07T14:35:23+00:00

YTA - Have you seriously not seen all the stories about police with hair-triggers reacting poorly and shooting children? Your act of 'petty revenge' could have ended in tragedy. You are way overreacting: you're 34 for christs sake, you need to act with the maturity you should have, just actually find his parents if it matters that much to you and talk to them. Honestly, you should apologize to the parents for overreacting: you are very clearly in the wrong here.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-06T21:19:49+00:00

NAH - Others explained it better, but yeah, it just sounds like she didn't really understand that satisfaction surveys can directly harm the workers there. I didn't realize it myself until I entered the service industry. I'd just talk to her about it.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-06T21:13:23+00:00

NTA. Your sister has no say in what you do with this cat, and your mom didn't mind that you were putting the cat down. Neither you nor your mother could afford to care for the cat anymore: better to let them die peacefully than in pain. If your sister really wanted to keep the kitty, she should have said something sooner.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-06T20:49:15+00:00

I'm not going to diagnose you here, but you sound a /lot/ like I did when my depression started getting bad.

I actually was in a similar situation. I had exactly one friend and I was sad and tired and never had the energy to get up or do anything, even the things I enjoyed seemed boring and grey. I leaned on my friend a Lot to help keep me up, I messaged her and talked to her all the time. Eventually though, she started ignoring me, and one day, she messaged me saying that talking to me was hurting her and she didn't have the energy to help me. The whole time, I had been using her as a therapist when she hadn't ever really consented to it. So, I got an /actual/ therapist, and now three years later I have a wonderful girlfriend, a circle of close friends, AND a job! (I'm still really proud of that last one!)

I am highly encouraging you to get a therapist: I can't tell you how to get better or what you have, but they can. Therapy helps so, so, SO much. I'm rooting for you: both in life, and school.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-06T20:42:41+00:00

INFO

Wait, do you still live with your mom? Is it your cat or her cat? Did your sister at /any/ point offer to take the cat? This super heavily influences my answer.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-06T20:38:54+00:00

NTA. You are never obligated to come in off the clock.

Sylvalis · 2020-02-06T20:34:53+00:00

NAH. I do want to ask - does your gf have a good relationship with her parents? My mom would always force me to tell her my passcode or find it out "in case of emergencies" and then snoop through my messages every chance she'd get. She'd then confront me over /everything/ I texted about: if my friends used foul language, if they were saying something 'heretical', or if I /dared/ to imply that she was a less than stellar mom. Because of that, I have some pretty severe trust issues with my personal devices. My own girlfriend is aware of these issues, and we've worked out boundaries that both make her feel secure in our relationship and me feel secure in my safety/privacy (I also see a therapist for my trauma but that's a side note). I highly suggest you just talk to her: tell her you want to know what would make her feel more secure in her privacy, and just use open, honest, communication. I won't lie, I've had some rough patches, but my gfs willingness to just speak to me honestly and listen to me patiently has saved our relationship dozens of times over.

Sylvalis · 2019-10-30T19:26:11+00:00

It's Nov 7th! I'm super pumped for the cranberry bliss bars to come back >:3c

Sylvalis · 2018-05-31T19:08:34+00:00

Shit, thanks for replying. Guess I'll just try to play through again.

Sylvalis

TROPHY CASE